Fran-demonium: the PC's secret Fran-pun file
by Horace E. Cow on Mar 31, 2010 1:55 PM CDT
Email
Print[Well, we can't not bump this. Be sure to click through for the rest.--AJ]
Leaked from the Press-Citizen*
To: All Sports Section staff
From: the Sports Editor
Re: Fran Puns
Our initial headline pun announcing Fran McCaffery’s hiring ("Frantastic", Mar 30, 2010) was good, but we’ve got at least three more years of articles about this guy, so we had better start thinking of as many puns that involve the word "Fran" as possible. Good puns are the mark of a good paper, as we all know, so I need your best work on this. We don’t want a return to the generally disgusting level of wordplay that marked the Lickliter era. Every staff reporter is on Fran-pun duty until further notice. For now, here is a list of approved Fran-puns along with possible subheads:
Hawkeye Fran-dom: Attendance up at early season games
Fran-atics: Hawkeye fans initially enthusiastic about McCaffery era
Fran-club: Hope marks beginning of new season
Jolly Fran-cher: Happy-go-lucky McCaffery looks forward to start of regular season
Raisin’ Fran: McCaffery’s mother talks about her boy
Cat-of-my-Fran: McCaffery’s pet has a ball [Too nautical? Also, check whether he owns a cat]
Fran-kenstein’s Monster: McCaffery hopes defense frightens opponents [for Halloween issue]
Fran-cy Dress Ball: McCaffery adds zip to Iowa O [also for Halloween, but too British?]
Fran-tabulous: Hawks cruise by Coppin St.
Fran-tasia: Hawks dance past Texas Pan American
Fran-tic: Hawks look lost against Monmouth
It’s Fraaaandy! Hawks bounce back against Colgate
Francid: Hawks go cold vs. AK-Little Rock
Caught in a Fran-belt: Hawks’ D ensnares Bethune Cookman
Trip-to-Fran: Hawks sleepy in big Turkey-day match-up [For Thanksgiving]
Disen-Fran-chised: Hawks lose to Central Connecticut
Fran-ternity Initiation: Hawks get ready for Big Ten start
Into the Fran-cor Pit: Hawks hope to be "force" in Big Ten [too nerdy?]
In-Fran-ticide: McCaffery letting freshmen play
The Fran-Co. Rushin’ War: McCaffery’s crew playing too fast
Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb I-Fran: Michigan St. sets 3-point record against Hawks
Grim Fran-dango: McCaffery calls on fans to have "realistic" expectations
Without Fran-cor: McCaffery denies beef with players
Fran-dom Number Generator: McCaffery’s mysterious substitution patterns
Also-Fran: Hawks out of Big Ten race
Fran-fiction: Hawk coach denies rumors of ouster
Fran-kly My Dear I Don’t Give a Fran: Hawk fans demand results
Paranoid Schizo-Fran-ic: McCaffery cites "dark forces" out to get him
*Not actually leaked from the Press-Citizen.
Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.
198 comments
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3 recs |
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Or, for the more optimistic
The Fran-chise—Resurgence of Iowa Basketball under McCaffery
Honey, I think we should name our baby boy Pencilman. Yes, Pencilman Furious Lipschitz. Kinda just rolls off the tongue. Whaddaya think?
That's just Franfuckingtastic....
/marge after watching Hightower for the first time
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Mar 31, 2010 3:59 PM CDT reply actions
Ahem...
footnote.
"You're going to go out there with a dick full of confidence. Then, you're going to go out there and shoot that confidence all over the stadium." -Blue Mountain State
Witnessed
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 31, 2010 5:29 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I read the footnote...
Although upon further review I don’t suppose the PC would probably use that. Too bad, people might by it.
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Mar 31, 2010 6:27 PM CDT up reply actions
On another note
I really wanted him to start his press conference with "Any of you homos touch my stuff…I’ll kill ya. "
Don't forget
Frannesia, the condition whereby the previous two Iowa coaches will never be spoken of again.
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Mar 31, 2010 4:01 PM CDT reply actions
A Fran, a plan, a canal: Franama.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 31, 2010 4:10 PM CDT reply actions
Hey backwards that reads
A man a Frlan a canal panaFra!
"Franama! Franamah- ha- ah!" --Sammy Hagar
by Kinnick Stadium is my Graceland on Mar 31, 2010 9:37 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
It's all Fran Halen to me.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Apr 1, 2010 8:27 AM CDT up reply actions
Except there's a reason
you can’t work “Fran” into “Gary Cherone”.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 8:47 AM CDT up reply actions
Our secret play should be the "Frannexation of Cuba."
Your questions have been franswered. Franytime, franyplace.
Oh, I see its not now.
Jesus, when will Hump Day quit humping me?
My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com
by Leftcoast Hawk on Mar 31, 2010 4:32 PM CDT up reply actions
It never ends
it’s best to just close your eyes, try not to cry, and pray it’s over soon
by HeroPatriotStanzi on Mar 31, 2010 4:33 PM CDT up reply actions
Sounds like the voice of experience you got goin' there
My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com
by Leftcoast Hawk on Mar 31, 2010 5:15 PM CDT up reply actions
No...
he’s just taking Bob Knight’s advice.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1067309/index.htm
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 31, 2010 9:58 PM CDT up reply actions
Frangelic
A last-second buzzer-beater heaved from half-court to lift the Hawks over the Wolverines at Carver-Hawkeye, 65-64
by SavagePoop on Mar 31, 2010 4:34 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Fran-cin' With The Devil...
….Hawks’ buzzer beater ruled no good by Hightower (who was eating a hotdog and having an unnecessary conference with a Wolverine Cheerleader as time expired).
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 9:43 AM CDT up reply actions
Fran-Brulee
The Hawks give the Spartans their “Just Desserts”, 89-67
Is Fran-zied...
…too close to Stanzied? I feel a little un-hetero for this guy simply because he’s not Lickliter. Is that wrong?
Franimated
Coach’s style at a press conference.
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Mar 31, 2010 5:13 PM CDT reply actions
Franimated wife...
Scares official, escorted from arena. Fans give 5 minute standing ovation.
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
Fransel and Gretel;
Hawks Lost in the Woods After Crumby Performance.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 31, 2010 5:33 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Franta, Franta
Don’tcha want a Franta, Franta?
"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad." - The Waco Kid
I'll now have those girls in my head the rest of the day.
On a sidenote, I want to see them re-do the “Hover-Round, Hover-Round” commercial song. That would WIN! topped with WIN! Sauce.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 9:46 AM CDT up reply actions
+1, sir.
References to the Gadsden Purchase are always cherished.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Except by the Mexican't, whose ancestors had their lands ripped from them in another shoddy US Gov't "deal."
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 9:47 AM CDT up reply actions
I think he should actually blame the Mexican government.
Who are so cheap and pathetic, for hundreds of years they have put the “can’t” in Mexican’t.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 1, 2010 11:07 AM CDT up reply actions
This is probably the truth.
I spent very little of my childhood in Mexico, but feel that their cheap and pathetic values were instilled upon me during those formative years.
by The Mexican't on Apr 1, 2010 3:39 PM CDT up reply actions
Iowa's mens basketball team turns Fran-sexual
After hard work and determination, the men’s basketball team was transformed from playing like women into men…full blown Fran-sexuals.
"I'm just a sweet Frans-vestite, from Fran-sexual, Fran-sylvania!"
—Fran “Footer” McCaffery
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 9:52 AM CDT up reply actions
Fran Diego:
Hawks’ Performance Stinkier Than A Whale’s Vagina
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Do The Frandango!
Hawks Dancing After 5-Year Drought.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Return of the Smith:
Franikan Skywalker Looks To Down Gophers In Episode III
(only good for Big Ten Tourney third rematch)
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Shouldn't that be Wolverines?
Considering our inability to play anyone but Michigan in the BTT…
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
YOU get John Beilein's name to work in that title.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 31, 2010 9:15 PM CDT up reply actions
Ah.
I didn’t even pick up on the Tubby joke the first time…
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Me neither.
I is slow too-nite
Master of the convoluted IOWA cheers!
by EnergizerHawk on Mar 31, 2010 11:00 PM CDT up reply actions
lemme try
Fran-telope. Coach marries in deer family.
Where the Red Fran Grows. Coach embarrassed at height.
by Cairo on Mar 31, 2010 6:51 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Franet of the Apes:
Carver’s a Madhouse! A Maaadhouse!!!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Every Which Way But Bruce:
Hawks Turn To McCaffery After Being Spurned By Pearl.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 31, 2010 7:09 PM CDT up reply actions
Frannie Mae:
Hawks In Need Of Bailout After Latest Collapse.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Too soon.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Mar 31, 2010 7:18 PM CDT up reply actions
I disagree
Well played, sir. +1
And another touchdown for Rick Stanzi! Too bad the poor man's apparently colorblind!
Supercalifrangelisticexpyalidocious
Precocious.
"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad." - The Waco Kid
by HawkOnRails on Mar 31, 2010 7:26 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
shit hits the fran
Trouble in the Iowa basketball program.
by Cairo on Mar 31, 2010 7:26 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
I really like that header IF
it were laid out like this:
Shit Hits the Fran
Hawks Fling Opportunity Away With Off-Court Monkey Business.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 8:57 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Franziball
“Hawks stake Michigan to 7-0 lead, but seal win on late steal by Greenwood”
Oh, I’m late to this party. Should have seen the holes in the mashed potatoes.
"I will go to Germany and then play in a couple of AAU Tournaments like Peach Jam and Boo Williams." - Junior Lomomba
by Ornery Woody on Mar 31, 2010 7:32 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
This place is ALWAYS...
…“that kind of party.”
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 9:56 AM CDT up reply actions
Fran'd and Deliver:
McCaffery Abruptly Quits Iowa To Teach Underprivileged Los Angelinos Trigonometry.
(Starring Frandy Garcia, Coug Diamond Phillips)
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
How do I help these keeeeeedz?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 31, 2010 10:00 PM CDT up reply actions
Greatest in-school movie ever.
Garcia: Did you have the test answers?
Phillips: Yes
Garcia: How did you get them?
Phillips: From the mailman (long pause)…He’s body’s decomposing in my locker! (sarcastically extends hands to be cuffed)
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 8:50 AM CDT up reply actions
Franadu
Olivia Newton-John to portray Iowa head coach in roller skating musical.
by Cairo on Mar 31, 2010 7:34 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
I was thinking a bit older than that...for you Rush fans out there...
Franadu -- To stand within The Pleasure Dome
Decreed by Kubla Khan
To taste anew the fruits of life
The last immortal man
To find the sacred river Alph
To walk the caves of ice
Oh, I will dine on honey dew
And drink the milk of Paradise
Frannick Noah
Did Iowa coach win 1983 French Open?
by Cairo on Mar 31, 2010 7:41 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Frantalones?
Iowa coach to wear spanish pants?
by Cairo on Mar 31, 2010 7:50 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Japanese establish puppet state of Franchukuo
Iowa coach the last emperor?
by Cairo on Mar 31, 2010 8:14 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
That's close to perfect...
for nerds like Rambler and myself.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 31, 2010 8:16 PM CDT up reply actions
Indeed.
+1 to Cairo
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Mar 31, 2010 10:12 PM CDT up reply actions
Does that mean
That the deposed Iowa coach will end up tending the gardens around Carver?
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Or continue thinking he's the coach
in a secluded practice facility some 40 years after his firing.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 4, 2010 8:32 AM CDT up reply actions
McCafferinated Coffee:
Iowa Receives Badly Needed Jolt.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Frando Calrissian:
Thawing Iowa From It’s Postseason Carbonite.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Oh Franada! Hawks dominate Canadian Junior National team in exhibition duel
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
There once was a man from Frantucket
His teams could take it to the bucket,
While some wanted a Pearl
Barta gave it a whirl
And made a hiring choice that said “fuck it.”
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 31, 2010 9:22 PM CDT reply actions 4 recs
DAMMIT!
No pansy golf clapping on my watch! Golf claps are for communists and others who don’t want to disturb the crowd. This site is all about disturbing the crowd. If you want to be passive and un-American take it to the Rivals site or some other outpost of femininity and fascism (like the Bob Brooks Radio Experience site).
(By the way, when does the Cornshoe Hammaker movie come out?).
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 10:02 AM CDT up reply actions
It was a POETRY meeting!
I didn’t wan’t to disturb the vibe. How’s this? WHOOOO! AWESOME! Gives high fives. ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT!
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
You forgot to jump around and...
tear your clothes off.
Master of the convoluted IOWA cheers!
by EnergizerHawk on Apr 2, 2010 10:23 PM CDT up reply actions
Speaking of the commies...
It’s “Go Fuck Yourself, Fran Diego.” A real patriot would know that.
by TheDutchFlounder on Apr 5, 2010 9:08 AM CDT up reply actions
What the hell is a "golf clap"?
I apparently haven’t watched enough that stickball sport to figure that out.
Master of the convoluted IOWA cheers!
by EnergizerHawk on Apr 2, 2010 10:22 PM CDT up reply actions
I think I liked this one the best.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 31, 2010 10:06 PM CDT up reply actions
Macho Fran: McCaffery stuns Metcalf at WrestleMania!
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Mar 31, 2010 10:13 PM CDT reply actions
My old Frantucky home: McCaffery takes over sanction injured UK
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Mar 31, 2010 10:13 PM CDT reply actions
I know it doesn't really rhyme, but I like it.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Mar 31, 2010 10:14 PM CDT up reply actions
A Simple Fran: McCaffery Describes Blueprint for Big Ten Dominance.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
This made me think of Skynard...
…“To be a simplllllllllllle, kind of Frannnnnn.”
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 11:38 AM CDT up reply actions
Why didn't I think of that?
I love that song.
You sir, are excellent, Mr. IHeartFreedom.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Apr 1, 2010 9:04 PM CDT up reply actions
Fran's Clan: Crazy Wife and Brood of Young Children Move to Iowa.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Franitized: McCaffery Tries to Wipe Away Lickliter's Germs from Iowa Basketball.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Fran Canned by the Man: Barta Escorts Third Basketball Coach Out of Iowa City.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
McC's Disease: Fran Becomes Second Iowa Coach to Suffer From Torn Carotid.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Daffy McCaff'y Makes 'Em Laughey: Fran Shares Jokes During Post-Game Conference.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
To the people here who can actually use photoshop...
Please work your magic:
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Mar 31, 2010 10:26 PM CDT reply actions
Settles and Murray to Be Iowa Assistants: Former Hawks Will Comprise Half of McCaff's Staff.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Fran-Slaughter: Iowa Coach Strangles Andrew Brommer after Seven Straight Games of Fouling Out.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Fran't Stand It: Iowa suffers through 4th straight losing season.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
White Magic: McCaffery Dismisses Cole, Archie, and Marble.
That’s Racist.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
From Siena to Vienna: McCaffery Leads Team USA to Win in Gold Medal Game.
(This may not happen until the 2026 Summer games in Austria)
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
I hear he's like 9 feet tall...
….and his nickname’s “The Day-Dream”
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 11:41 AM CDT up reply actions
Half-McCaff: Fan's Not Percolating Despite Fran's Attempts To Brew Up Success.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
En-Fran-gling Alliances: McCaffery May Pursue Notre Dame Opening After Brey's Firing.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Fran Down! Lickliter Brutally Attacks Successor With Shovel.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Quite Fran-kly: Stephen A. Smith Interviews McCaffery About Hawkeye's Final Four Run.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
-1
for any mention of that crotch-smear.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 8:53 AM CDT up reply actions
But +1 to you...
…for crotch-smear.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 11:42 AM CDT up reply actions
Looking In Every Nook and Franny: McCaffery Holds Open Try-Outs in Fieldhouse.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Barta Gives Fran-swer to Those Who Questioned If He Could Land A Proven Coach.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
From the Fran Down Under: McCaffery Recruits Entire Frosh Class from Australia.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Fran-ished: Iowa Fires Coach After Numerous NCAA Violations.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Franny Being Franny: McCaffery Wears Dodger's Slugger's Wig During Practice to Keep Things Loose.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Disrupting Rhythm: Fran Plans for More Fans in Stands.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
Fran-tiquated Offense: McCaffery Decides to Keep Butler Way for Iowa Basketball.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 31, 2010 11:21 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
Ooooh!
An internet cop! How exciting!
In a realm of such consequence!
"I will go to Germany and then play in a couple of AAU Tournaments like Peach Jam and Boo Williams." - Junior Lomomba
by Ornery Woody on Apr 1, 2010 1:27 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I have authority. Ba-lee dat.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Apr 1, 2010 11:38 AM CDT up reply actions
Dad?
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Apr 1, 2010 11:44 AM CDT up reply actions
As I was scrolling down I first thought...
…“Man, I’d be pissed if they didn’t even give me a full sized Stop Sign” but then I scrolled more and saw the military surplus style boots with the jorts and I realized that this guy obviously doesn’t care about anything.
[He’s a nihilist.— Oh, that must be exhausting.]
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 11:46 AM CDT up reply actions
That could be me in 30 years.
by Stay thirsty, my friends. on Apr 1, 2010 1:51 PM CDT up reply actions
You mean will be?
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Apr 1, 2010 2:18 PM CDT up reply actions
Fran-freaking-tastic!
I’ve been found out.
by Stay thirsty, my friends. on Apr 1, 2010 2:58 PM CDT up reply actions
We all have dreams.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Apr 1, 2010 3:06 PM CDT up reply actions
Is that a dog whistle around his neck or a crack pipe?
by Stay thirsty, my friends. on Apr 1, 2010 2:59 PM CDT up reply actions
Dog Whistle/One-hitter
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Apr 1, 2010 3:05 PM CDT up reply actions
I would like it to be known...
that I just happened to leave my computer to go to bed at about the same time that HFMR put up the stop sign.
And so, to maintain my autonomy, I will now give you my final (but not a particularly good) pun:
Fran-ding Iron: McCaffery Removes All Names From Jerseys, Players To Have “Iowa” Burned Into Chests.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Apr 1, 2010 9:15 PM CDT up reply actions
It's akin to Orson Welles' final performance...
Ross, don’t you dare let me down.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 9:43 PM CDT up reply actions
Hmm?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Excellent
but not accurate (or even him).
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 9:50 PM CDT up reply actions
What did T.S. Elliot write?
Not with a bang, but a whimper?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 9:52 PM CDT up reply actions
Oh, you mean this final performance...
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Forgive me...
I was hoping for the Orson Welles clapping animation. I don’t understand any of the other jokes that were made in this track of the thread.
Therefore, I will take it all as appreciation of my work, and tell you all:
“… thank you for your support.”
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Apr 1, 2010 10:11 PM CDT up reply actions
Bartles, Ja(y)mes
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 11:27 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Holy crap!
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 2, 2010 11:20 AM CDT up reply actions
Good ol' Jim
appears to be in need of your support if that picture is any indication.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 2, 2010 11:27 AM CDT up reply actions
This picture gets better with each view.
He looks just like the little kid from “The Final Sacrifice”.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 2, 2010 10:05 PM CDT up reply actions
Rowsdower!
“So is Rowsdower like a stupid name, or…”
MST3k FTW
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Apr 5, 2010 5:15 PM CDT up reply actions
Zap Actions Dower!
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 5, 2010 6:09 PM CDT up reply actions
WTF?!?
Anyone want to give me some insight as to where these GIF’s/JPG’s go after I post them and they’re clearly there for me to see?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 2, 2010 8:52 AM CDT up reply actions
Do mine show up?
Maybe you’re linking from places that frown on hotlinking?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Yeah, yours are always there.
How would I know which sites are “OK” with it?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 2, 2010 9:47 AM CDT up reply actions
No idea about that.
Most of yours show up just fine, I think.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Most of your images show up.
I don’t really know how to tell which sites will allow for hotlinking. The easiest way to do it is to save the images somewhere that you know works. Photobucket’s fairly popular.
by The Mexican't on Apr 2, 2010 6:42 PM CDT up reply actions
BOOM!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 8:53 AM CDT up reply actions
collaborate, and listen
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
How'd your left guard
Make it into this franucopia?
"We just forgot our pants. Nothing against the team or anything like that." -- take a guess
Oh! Oh! Oh! Me! Me! Me!
Renewed Basketball Excitement Turns Carver Into Franimal House.
I'm looking at you, Bloodpunch. Get it done.
Frantastic Five:
The Hawks are out to a hot start led by Lickliter, Cougill, Brommer, Neari, and that MuthaFucka Anthony Tucka!
I'm looking at you, Bloodpunch. Get it done.
Franguilera
Stripped Hawkeye Squad Still Beautiful
“Ain’t no other man,” says Barta.
"I will go to Germany and then play in a couple of AAU Tournaments like Peach Jam and Boo Williams." - Junior Lomomba
by Ornery Woody on Apr 1, 2010 1:23 AM CDT via mobile reply actions
The Franchurian Candidate
McCaffery discovered to have an implant that affects his on-court behavior and coaching style. Suspected to be planted by Marge.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Apr 1, 2010 8:45 AM CDT reply actions
Dammit.
Didn’t see the otehr “Franton Comes Alive” post.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Apr 1, 2010 10:41 AM CDT up reply actions
Ooooooh, baby I love your way
of replaaaay.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 10:55 AM CDT up reply actions
I'm going to need a Franema to cleanse myself of this thread.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
This thread?
Yes, it’s a disgusting display of punnery.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 10:51 AM CDT up reply actions
What? No Fran-hammer?
Fran-hammer – What do you get when you piss off the coach? The Fran-hammer.
by Stay thirsty, my friends. on Apr 1, 2010 11:07 AM CDT reply actions
HFMR tried to hit Chazz with the Franhammer earlier.
It was met with more puns.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 11:14 AM CDT up reply actions
I can't keep up... damn the man!
Work is interrupting my web cruising, again. Good thing they pay me well.
by Stay thirsty, my friends. on Apr 1, 2010 11:18 AM CDT up reply actions
No, no.
You’re the first to use the term (I think), but he actually tried to put it in motion. Go back up and look for the STOP sign.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 11:25 AM CDT up reply actions
That one got by everyone here?
I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Or of something Ja-Fran-imation related (as in manga).
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 11:50 AM CDT up reply actions
Frando Calrissian
He’s a double agent, sure, but in the end, he’s right there with you, fighting the Izzo Empire!
It’s 2 p.m. and I think that’s early enough for beer, especially after that.
"I always like it better when the clowns seem to try to be happy."
Oh, Bark Morehouse
You’re late to the party; already spewed that one out about halfway up the post. I’m taking your beat for the week.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 6:44 PM CDT up reply actions
The Fran-hattan Project
Developing dunks to shatter backboards on every court they play.
AKA – F.E.D. (Fran-hattan Engineering Dunkers*)
- Cougs thinks this means doughnuts into coffee.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
The Invasion of Franada
In case the Hawkeyes ever take a trip to the SE Caribbean.
And another touchdown for Rick Stanzi! Too bad the poor man's apparently colorblind!
Failed Franchise
*Reserved for the inevitable Pat Harty column excoriating an Iowa hoopyball player (not Cougill) for his failure to “get with the program” prior to a big game.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
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