WE'RE TALKIN' BASKETBALL: In Which The Best-Case Scenario Is Agony
Iowa Hawkeyes at Wisconsin Badgers, Mar 3, 2010 7:30 PM CST
It's been a long time since Iowa won in Wisconsin. Oh, it's been close many times. In fact, there's usually a pretty set script in place for Iowa, and they never exceed this performance. It is the best case scenario.
First half: Iowa is ice cold from the field on account of "debatable" officiating. Wisconsin is also cold, however, and despite foul trouble for Iowa's best player and a total inability to get an "uncontested" shot (see: get a fucking call for once), Iowa hangs tough.
Halftime: The announcer says something like "And despite being 7 for 24 from the field, Iowa still in this thing, 23-20, Wisconsin leads, we'll be back after this." You think that if Iowa's shooting performance normalizes, they have a chance, and start to get just a little bit anxious. This is a bad idea.
Second half: Wisconsin maintains its lead between 3 and 6 points; on the rare occasion Iowa gets within one or two points, the Badgers score immediately. Their large white post players switch to brass knuckles and toothbrush shivs; they also remain safely out of foul trouble. Alando Tucker's mom shows up on camera, even though he's not even there anymore.
Endgame: As Iowa continues struggling at all facets of offense, the game's within 6 points with under three minutes to play. Then Wisconsin hits everything in sight, Iowa's best efforts are in vain, and the final score's like 65-56 Badgers. And you have just wasted two hours of your time in a state of tense nervousness, knowing full well Iowa cannot possibly win this game.
And that's the best case scenario: the torture of the close Wisconsin road game. The worst case, of course, is Iowa gets the living Christ beaten out of them. That's more likely.
Game thread's right here, you all know how to play nice by now, don't do anything that'll get us sued, and let's just get through this thing together. Err, I mean, GO IOWA?
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basketball
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2010 7:23 PM CST reply actions
I think we should throw in the towel on this whole basketball thing.

BASEketball is where it’s at now.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
(Insert Iowa Player's Name) is 0 for 18
and he smells like Robert Downey Jr
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 7:31 PM CST up reply actions
Steeeeeve Perry
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2010 7:32 PM CST up reply actions
HIGHTOWER ALERT
for Purdue/Indiana game. That’s too bad, I would have had nostalgia about when Iowa was somewhat competitive and he would personally come through for Wisconsin in the closing minutes.
Don't get too excited
We have Valentine
by imthjggrntbtch on Mar 3, 2010 7:37 PM CST up reply actions
Doesn't this all apply to everyone who has to play in that stupid crummy arena?
With the exception of Duke, ’cause that was a decent game.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
Nothing on TV tonight
And I’m out of Netflix movies. I guess I’ll suffer through this with all of you
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Mar 3, 2010 7:33 PM CST reply actions
Cool Hand Luke is on if you haven't seen it 10 times like I have
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:33 PM CST up reply actions
I love Paul Newman
So I’ve seen that movie many a time before. Although, watching it again could be better than watching this.
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Mar 3, 2010 7:35 PM CST up reply actions
I think I'll watch The Maltese Falcon.
I sure as hell am not watching Exciting Big Ten Basketball.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:37 PM CST up reply actions
"Iowa played EXTREMELY well against Indiana on Sunday"
Um… Dave… were you and I watching the same game? Cause that was pretty brutal.
I'm sorry, but just not losing to Indiana qualifies as playing extremely well.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:37 PM CST up reply actions
Prerequisites for beating Indiana
1. Convert oxygen to carbon dioxide and exhale, then inhale more oxygen
2. Have a pulse
3. Be above room temperature
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 7:39 PM CST up reply actions
I don't think you're giving enough credit to teams from the Zombie League.
I’m pretty sure they could beat Indiana, too.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
LOLPENNSTATELOL
sigh. We are an embarrassment to Talor Battle.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:41 PM CST up reply actions
So what's everybody drinking (seeing as how this is Iowa basketball and all)?
I’m trying the Same Adams Noble Pils seasonal brew. Pretty good.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:38 PM CST reply actions
Blood.
Turns out I’m a vampire.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
Good to know.
So, I’m assuming every woman in your neighborhood is completely in love with you all of a sudden?
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:41 PM CST up reply actions
"All of a sudden"?
Been that way for years, son.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
Bastard.
Send some of those emo bitches this way . . .
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:42 PM CST up reply actions
What was the name of that white Wiscy player who was highly recruited back in the 90s?
Sam Oaky?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
Okie
He eventually transferred to Iowa.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
At age like 30
I guess Jess Settles needed someone to hang with
Just googled him
Found this: http://wisconsinsportsblogs.blogspot.com/2008/12/1990s-flashback.html
I played at KEVA in Middleton about 5 years ago. We were standing around waiting for our game to start and Okey walks in. Someone goes “Hey Sam, what’s up?” Okey goes “nothin, just smokin a lot of week.” Loud enough for the whole gym to hear.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:40 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah he got in a lot of trouble when he was younger
He was also really good. He killed Iowa his freshman year
And got a job as a bouncer at Rush Hour
so he could feast on low-hanging fruit after they had polished off their weight in $0.50 pitchers
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2010 7:51 PM CST up reply actions
Turnover Iowa?
"You're going to go out there with a dick full of confidence. Then, you're going to go out there and shoot that confidence all over the stadium." -Blue Mountain State
WE ARE WINNING
STOP THE GAME
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
The comedy potential
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
Also where is this fucking assembly line where Wisconsin gets all its big doofy white centers?
Can we get in on it? Is it near their Generic Giant White QB factory? Are they the same factory? Does Wisconsin have cloning technology? Or did Jim Sorgi really just play 10 years and pretend to be different people?
I have questions.
by NorseHawk on Mar 3, 2010 7:44 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
I think we stole Gorney from the reject pile.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Hey, I'd take Gorney over our low-post options now...
Doesn’t mean he was good, though.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Must be where WE stole Frank Brickowski from.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:46 PM CST up reply actions
And Milos Bogetic.
Man, did he suck.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:48 PM CST up reply actions
Might be the same place MSU gets them
I mean, shit. Paul Davis. Drew Naymick. Goran Suton. Tom Herzog (although he plays about 0 minutes/game). Garrick Sherman.
This is full of awesome.
Thank you for giving me SOMEthing to laugh out loud about tonight, NorseHawk.
Dear Wisconsin,
Every time Iowa has played on a Wednesday this year the game has been on at 7:30. The game is always just close enough that I can’t change the channel. Then Iowa doesn’t win and I miss most of Psych. Tonight, could you please put the game away by 9 pm or at least have the decency to lose. Thanks.
DVR buddy
I usually get to start Psych at around 9:20 and catch up before the end.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:46 PM CST up reply actions
5 bucks a month for DVR
"You're going to go out there with a dick full of confidence. Then, you're going to go out there and shoot that confidence all over the stadium." -Blue Mountain State
Except with Mediacom
where, if you try to change your plan you get bent over the table
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 7:48 PM CST up reply actions
Or do basically anything else.
I fucking hate Mediacom.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:48 PM CST up reply actions
Just flip over at 9.
The odds of Iowa pulling this out are LOL ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
Spare yourself the anguish.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Is that the official line?
Cuz I’m dumb enough to put some money on Iowa.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:48 PM CST up reply actions
No, Iowa +18 is a good bet.
Iowa straight up is fucking suicide.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
+18 isn't quite as good as LOL ARE YOU KIDDING ME
But I’ll take it.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:50 PM CST up reply actions
Well
At least USA replays it like 47 times between new episodes. It’ll be on again at midnight if you’re going to be awake.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:47 PM CST up reply actions
"How nice of you to throw me the ball..."
I’ll take that turnover
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Mar 3, 2010 7:47 PM CST reply actions
What's your nickname for Raef Lafrentz?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:48 PM CST up reply actions
nice
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Mar 3, 2010 7:49 PM CST up reply actions

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
That dude be sick
His farm by Monona is pretty awesome as well. My grandparents used to live just down the road from him.
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Mar 3, 2010 7:53 PM CST up reply actions
Only hold a grudge until you die, Hawkeye State?
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 7:55 PM CST up reply actions
No, of course not
Till he dies
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2010 7:59 PM CST up reply actions
Stop calling him fucking J-Bo
Jason Bohannon is the whitest motherfucker this side of Andrew Brommer. He does not get a completely unironic hip-hop nickname.
Don't look now, but here comes the scoring drought
At least it’s early.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
Literally every time Andrew Brommer goes in I am angry
You’d think by now I’d be used to it, but no. Every time is a fresh betrayal.
At least he has gotten beat
for two really impressive dunks in a row
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 7:55 PM CST up reply actions
Ott is the superior Andrew.

I transferred from Villanova.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:56 PM CST up reply actions
I'm just trying to point that we're connected by our bad white post players whose names start with Andrew.
Tough crowd.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:58 PM CST up reply actions
What's the score?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
20-10 Wisconsin
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
So, are we just not going to play defense tonight?
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
"This is getting to be too easy!"
What does he mean “getting to”? It’s been this easy for at least two seasons.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 7:55 PM CST reply actions
Andrew Brommer you are so bad
He didn’t even bother with his usual “shit I’m out of position better hack this dude”
Oh Aaron Fuller if only you were like 2 inches taller......
You’d be playing for Arizona
If Brommer comes back for next season...
…is that just cause for terminating Lickliter’s contract?
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Brommmer is casus belli for invading Minnesota.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:57 PM CST up reply actions
I'm just here for the Barbasol commercial.
Hawkeye fan, born and bred. And when I die, a Hawkeye dead.
Why does Wayne Laravee seem suprised at the score
has he not watched iowa this season?
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
He's a pro...
he’s just trying to drum up some drama.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 7:59 PM CST up reply actions
Wayne Larivee is from a foreign country.
He doesn’t know what’s going on.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 7:59 PM CST up reply actions
I bet if you had a regular conversation with him in real life
he would sound surprised and excited.
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:00 PM CST up reply actions
It's called a cocaine addiction
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Mar 3, 2010 8:01 PM CST up reply actions
"I need to hit the men's room!!!!!!"
“With the flush!!!!!!”
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 8:01 PM CST up reply actions
Of course that goes it
It’s not enough that they’re a billion times better at basketball anyway, they have to make fucking everything they put up too
The worstest case scenario is Shonn Greene going back in time and transferring to Wisconsin in 2008.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:02 PM CST up reply actions
A 16-0 run by Wisconsin
and that sequence by Brommer perfectly sum up the entire season.
Hawkeye fan, born and bred. And when I die, a Hawkeye dead.
How is that not a personal foul on Dwight?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:03 PM CST up reply actions
who cares?
its awesome
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Mar 3, 2010 8:04 PM CST up reply actions
sigh
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:05 PM CST up reply actions
Lil' John Sighting
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Mar 3, 2010 8:04 PM CST reply actions
Dear god
why? I just tuned in and wish I hadn’t.
USA number 1!
by BroncoHawkeye on Mar 3, 2010 8:05 PM CST up reply actions
Is Lil' Lick getting smaller?
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 8:05 PM CST reply actions
I feel sorry for BTN announcers
they have to pretend that Iowa can do something to slow down teams like Wisconsin. We’re die hard fans, and we understand that this is inevitable.
so lickliter comes in for defense
and then totally fucks up
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
"so lickliter comes in"
Yep, there’s your problem.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
I don't know if Lickliter should actually be fired
It would probably be premature and stupid. But it would sure make me feel better. At least they’d be doing something.
Premature of what?
the apocalypse?
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
When's the last time Iowa actually scored?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Who's the color commentator?
Tim Doyel? Jon freaking Crispin?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
Meh. Outside shooter.
Gyasi Cline-Heard was awesome and like a taller Melle Cornley and he and Ivory pretty much beat UNC in 2001 by themselves.
Jon’s most famous play as a Penn State was airballing in that game.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:10 PM CST up reply actions
His most famous accomplishment was being related to his awesome brother.
And his brother wasn’t even the best player on the team his senior year. Then he left, and Jon Crispin said screw you guys, transferred to UCLA, and was a bad Devan Bawinkel with less playing time.
Point being: Yes, you too can be a BTN announcer!
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:08 PM CST up reply actions
Crispin may have been their leading scorer, but Titus Ivory was a more well-rounded guard and Cline-Heard was a very good post player. They really were the heart of the team.
And seriously, Jon Crispin sucked so bad.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:11 PM CST up reply actions
One day, that alley-oop to May will connect
And it will be the highlight of a 20 point Iowa loss.
Without that oop, it's a 22-point loss
And nobody wants that.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
that should be on the not top ten
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Mar 3, 2010 8:09 PM CST up reply actions
30-12 at the last media timeout, by the way.
Iowa’s not getting to 40 unless Wisconsin breaks out the nitrous at halftime.
Which they will.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
What channel is this on?
and don’t say the Comedy Channel. Okay, say it.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
BTN
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
So the Comedy Channel...
I’ll sneak a peek.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Trevon Hughes picking Lil John's pocket will never stop being funny.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Sweet Jesus
Just catching the game now. I live in Baltimore, and see better ball played at the local junior high.
Do you think Cole spontaneously drops shit in real life, too?
Is his floor covered in glass shards and spilled food? Is he unable to hold a pencil to take notes?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I hope he buys the insurance plan.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
No, you cannot simulate his heart and intangibles.
Your players aren’t white enough. I suggest more meals carried in lunchpails.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:15 PM CST up reply actions
No, like Jon Crispin or whoever this white color guy is actually just said that thing I wrote
I mean, not the “fucking” part, but the rest of it. And he was not wrong.
So it is Jon Crispin.
Someone tell him he sucks and he transferred to UCLA for nothing and that my mom is a better commentator than him and maybe he should show some loyalty to the program.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:17 PM CST up reply actions
I have no idea who it actually is
I was just saying Jon Crispin because that’s what you said. It’s a white dude with an annoying New York (?) accent. That’s all I got.
Ok, it's not Crispin.
It’s Doyel. Someone tell him he sucks too.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:21 PM CST up reply actions
Keep in mind that for half these games I am suffering through this mess in person
So I’m not really up on my BTN announcing teams.
I would call you lucky, but I'm not paying for this crap.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:27 PM CST up reply actions
did anyone else notice the disproportion of #52's head to his body?
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
What would happen if Lickliter decided to just run a press?
Can Iowa press?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:16 PM CST up reply actions
We have like 4 players
Yeah, running more is just what this team need
Not enough dudes.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Although the thought of Cougs tand Brommer rying to press someone is...
hilariously AWFUL AWESOME.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
"Would've been good if it had went, but it sails over the backboard"
Thanks Larraive, I don’t know if I could have figured that out for myself.
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Mar 3, 2010 8:17 PM CST reply actions
When he was the Bears radio guy
I fucking hated him. Now that he is the Packers play-by-play guy I still want to jab my ears out with a exacto knife can listen to him without having violent thoughts most of the time.
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:20 PM CST up reply actions
The best games are when they team him with Crispin *and* Tim Doyel.
The a-team, friendoes.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:19 PM CST up reply actions
"Would've been good if it went"
Isn’t that how basketball works? If the ball goes in the basket, it’s good?
You're the man now, dawg!
A press is just one of many proven strategies we don't do, try or seem to have the slightest interest in
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
It's important that we never try to simulate it
otherwise we might figure out how to break it when we’re on offense.
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2010 8:22 PM CST up reply actions
HALFTIME
Iowa 36, Wisconsin 16… just kidding, it’s the other way around.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
I don't have the heart to turn it on
are the players trying?
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
I dunno how you're supposed to determine something like this from just watching on TV
But they are allowing lots of really easy lay-ups. But that could just be because they are really bad at basketball.
16 fucking points !?!
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 8:20 PM CST reply actions
You are as surprised as I am
I thought 12 was asking a lot.
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:21 PM CST up reply actions
We have four 3-star freshmen coming
who are going to clean that right the hell up…
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Yes, that is what Lickliter has been calling it
for three years now.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
My apologies...
I was wrong. Way wrong.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
I bet Marble Jr...
could step on the court and drop 16 by himself. Right now. But maybe playing for another coach.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 8:23 PM CST up reply actions
New Iowa coach Ed DeChellis!
Proven track record! Yours for the cheap!
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:24 PM CST up reply actions
He could coach both teams for one salary!
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2010 8:25 PM CST up reply actions
Indeed.
He has shown a willingness to be paid in hot dogs, whiskey, and cheap apartments.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:26 PM CST up reply actions
How's he keeping that job?
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Does he have some Joe Pa..."footage" or something?
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Something like that, yes.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:28 PM CST up reply actions
Penn State's non-football priorities:
- Make money
- Don’t get sued.
We have no basketball boosters, we have little basketball tradtion, Ed is a classy guy, he’s cheap, and that’s all the admin. cares about.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:28 PM CST up reply actions
What's he make...like $550K?
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Perhaps.
Or it could be free meals from Sheetz.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:29 PM CST up reply actions
I think I would be less offended by Lickliter
if he was making $550K. I don’t know why, but I think I would.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
The boosters part is the real key.
You saw the Sanderson thing. The wrestling boosters wanted a big hire, boom goes the dynamite. But Ed won the most games in Penn State history and he turns a profit, so why would our admin want to fire him and lose money when they can take the easy way and hope Bruce Parkhill v. 3.0 works out?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:31 PM CST up reply actions
Oh, and Ed is a decent recruiter too.
So that’s another thing for the admin. to trumpet if need be.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:32 PM CST up reply actions
Good whiskey? Or the bathtub stuff?
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 8:26 PM CST up reply actions
Bathtub stuff.
The man loves cheap crap.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:32 PM CST up reply actions
Mmmm. Me too.
I wanna pour some on my head and light a match right now.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 8:33 PM CST up reply actions
If you have Direct TV...
Kansas-Kansas State is on 640.
ACTUAL COMPETITIVE BASKETBALL FEATURING NON-SHITTY TEAMS
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I think KSU last won at Kansas
during the Ford admin…so it will get away from them very soon.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Hanging tight for now.
This KSU team is pretty damn good, esp. when their jumpshots are falling.
And I think even Brands would be impressed with the amount of intensity on display by Walker. That dude is going to pop a blood vessel one of these days.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
HALFTIME BREAK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgdyBvHdNKY
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Fantastico.
There were some really punchable faces in that video.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
My favorite was the guy drinking water
the bottle never moved. But his face did.
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:26 PM CST up reply actions
if you could only add Cougill,
he has a real punchable face
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Mar 3, 2010 8:28 PM CST up reply actions
You just made The Sioux City Journal cry.
I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF, YOUNG MAN.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Yes, but you would have to answer to the Sioux City Journal
Moral of the story: Mr. Basketball is not to be slow motion face punched
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:29 PM CST up reply actions
Tron on HDNet or the last 4 episodes of season three of Dexter?
I’ve already seen the prior. Both are better than this second half will be.
WHOA WHOA WHOA
No one told me fucking TRON was on.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Yeah man... It started at 8.
Where ya been? Oh right. Watching the comedy that is the Iowa Hoopyball club.
by EnergizerHawk on Mar 3, 2010 8:39 PM CST up reply actions
Today, and literally every other day, we highlight Dr. Tom Davis
Quit taunting me, BTN
Ugh. Just finished dinner and turned this on. Fucking hell. It’s an embarassment. Barta better not talk about getting fans back. This is what they are. On pace for 36 fucking points. Can the Big Ten refuse to let them into the postseason tournament?
Not to be nit-picky
but check your math, dude.
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:32 PM CST up reply actions
Didn't want to point out a mistake
just that it’s worse than you thought
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:37 PM CST up reply actions
If they just made Iowa, Indiana, and Penn State stay home...
they could have a nice, simple 8-team tourney.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Sadly
We’d be as much in favor of this as the top 8 teams
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2010 8:33 PM CST up reply actions
Other than Hughes, is Wisconsin that much more talented than us?
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Leuer seems pretty good.
And I don’t think Iowa has any big men who can shoot from outside like Nankivelli or whatever his name is.
Oh and Taylor is good.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:36 PM CST up reply actions
He's not big, just...big-boned. Chunky.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:38 PM CST up reply actions
IT'S A GLANDULAR PROBLEM
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Or is it Bo Ryan's system...
The UW–Platteville Way
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Of course they are.
They’re also much more experienced. These things matter.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Okay, I know it went in
BUT GO STRAIGHT BACK UP. Don’t stand there swinging your elbows for no reason and give the defense time to react.
Jarryd Motherfucking Cole is jacking up contested 3s early in the shotclock
Is there a surer sign that they’ve given up?
exactly
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Mar 3, 2010 8:40 PM CST up reply actions
I'm not nearly drunk enough
to stomach this game. Or this season. Next year’s season tickets should come with a case of Jack.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 8:40 PM CST reply actions
and cost jack...
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
So I am really pissed you can't get that stuff anymore
I also miss the real stuff from the Templeton area… ah home sweet home
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:42 PM CST up reply actions
Open a kiosk outside Carver for next season
and they’d be making record-setting business by next December.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 8:44 PM CST up reply actions
At least around Iowa City I haven't seen it for ages
Supply and demand problem
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:45 PM CST up reply actions
Selling it faster than they can make it
to be exact
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:46 PM CST up reply actions
I know in Des Moines
There is a rumor that Hy-Vee gets a shipment every thursday and it sells out in like two hours
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Mar 3, 2010 8:47 PM CST up reply actions
That's approximately what I have been hearing
from my dad, who lives near Templeton (Carroll). It sells out everywhere. And I haven’t been able to get my hands on the non-licensed variety in a long time
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:49 PM CST up reply actions
I don't understand
We can get it in Chicago. Is it just because people don’t know it as well?
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2010 8:55 PM CST up reply actions
It's worth every penny if you savor the stuff
if you’re just looking to get loaded get something else
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:51 PM CST up reply actions
like everclear
which is something i could use right now
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Mar 3, 2010 8:53 PM CST up reply actions
They are literally just toying with us now.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Jon Leuer: 8-9, 18 points
Iowa: 8-29, 20 points.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Why am I not surprised to see us 1-11 from 3pt range?
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
We have two assists 30 minutes into the game...
2!
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
I mean...
we don’t pass and we shoot off balance 3 pointers. How can that not work?!!?
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
At some point
I expect one of the players to snap and punch someone on the court. I would have done it a couple of games ago.
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2010 8:42 PM CST up reply actions
Or just put Brommer in
with the instructions of “I want you back on this bench with 5 fouls in 43 seconds and 3 opponents’ noses bloodied”
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:44 PM CST up reply actions
Like a check line in hockey!
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 8:47 PM CST up reply actions
So
There’s this ad I’ve been seeing here lately, and I can’t be the only one to think of this, right?

"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
INSTAPOLL
Will Iowa crack 36 pts in this game?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Can I choose suicide?
Or is this not one of those kind of questions?
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 8:48 PM CST up reply actions
These assholes aren't going to make it to 40. Shit.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
You couldn't show the Hawks...
on TV at Gitmo.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 8:49 PM CST up reply actions
40?
30 is going to be a gut check.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Score?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:53 PM CST up reply actions
A whole lot to not very many
I mean really really not very many
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:54 PM CST up reply actions
Bill Self to Bruce Weber?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:56 PM CST up reply actions
We are still significantly under the point per minute rate
51-29 Badgers, 7:40 left
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 8:55 PM CST up reply actions
Ouch.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 8:55 PM CST up reply actions
Luckily the nonconference slate was a very effective anesthetic
I no longer feel pain. Just nothingness.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 8:58 PM CST reply actions
I'll give them that -- they didn't string us along with false hope.
Losing to UT-SA and Duquesne was a clear sign we were going to be fucking terrible.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Exactly
At least they’re an honest bunch
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 9:01 PM CST up reply actions
Seriously?
Seriously?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 9:01 PM CST up reply actions
That's as funny as when the
NFL Network announcer referred to mildly successful plays during the Insight Bowl “Classic Iowa State” and “Classic Cyclone Football” repeatedly
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 9:02 PM CST up reply actions
Classically awful? Classically terrible?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I don't know...
it was hilarious though.
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 9:03 PM CST up reply actions
Brommer at the line to give us 32
nope, not even close… have to wait for at least one more trip to double our first half total
They just suggested that Brommer's goal should be to pattern his game after Seth Gorney
Seth Gorney!
This would unquestionably be an upgrade, but still. SETH GORNEY
X FACTOR
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Hahaha
Goddamn his post-dunk X-factors were hilarious.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 9:04 PM CST up reply actions
Gorney (I think) did have the funniest tattoo I had ever seen
Didn’t he have the Marine Anchor on his bicep?
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 9:05 PM CST up reply actions
Nothing is funnier than "Life as a G"
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 9:05 PM CST up reply actions
Thunder Ass!
Rucker. Not you, Oops Pow Jacobi
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 9:10 PM CST up reply actions
How is there not a pic of his tattoo readily available on the internet?
I can’t find it!
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 9:11 PM CST up reply actions
He actually had that as his tattoo?
I want to know more about this Guy Rucker.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 9:12 PM CST up reply actions
As I recall
It said, literally, “Life as a G” around a basketball. Massively. On his bicep. The basketball may not have been there, but I think it was. Also, how awesome is the name Guy Rucker? He played post but had stone hands—-standard for Iowa, really.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 9:14 PM CST up reply actions
Ah, yes
Exactly. Your paint skills are exemplary.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 9:33 PM CST up reply actions
I was at a game during...
The Jeff Horner years and Rucker was in attendance. He got a mild standing O.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 9:15 PM CST up reply actions
Isn't there a commenter
with that screen name too? Life as a G I mean
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 9:12 PM CST up reply actions
I think his brother (?) was in the Marines. Or something.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
That kinda makes me feel bad for making fun of him
Oh wait, no he’s still a goofy looking bastard
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2010 9:07 PM CST up reply actions
That tatoo would be rick stanzi approved
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Mar 3, 2010 9:14 PM CST up reply actions
Only 184 days, 11 hours 57 minutes and 36 seconds
until football season
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
Iowa basketball games
should be shown with a giant watermark of this countdown in the middle of the screen
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 3, 2010 9:04 PM CST up reply actions
Motherfuck.
That’s a lot of days.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
But wrestling this weekend and again in 2 weeks. Only 2 more basketball games until I can forget this abomination of sport
Yes, thank god for that.
I am excited.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
what's the spring game countdown, 184 #
by PackerHawk on Mar 3, 2010 9:19 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Spring game is April 17, I think.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Did you guys know that Jason Bohannon got better at playing basketball because of PRACTICE?
Genius….
Anyone know if J-Bo is purely a Larivee construction?
Because it is awful and obnoxious.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Now you're speaking our language...
Are you sure you’re a jNWU fan? You seem markedly less douchey than most Wildcat fans…
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Seriously, Lickliter?
Ryan wanted to substitute and keep the game moving, but Lickliter wanted the full time out instead. There is nothing that can be gained right now, Todd. Let it end.
Hawkeye fan, born and bred. And when I die, a Hawkeye dead.
WHY HAS BARBSOL FORSAKEN US?
(Or did I just miss the commercial?)
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
So, a compilation of our low scores to date are....
40 (x2), 42, 46, 49, 50 (x3)
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
This is also Iowa's first-ever 20-loss season.
WOO! MAKIN’ HISTORY!
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I'm pouring my champagne as we speak...
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
i told my parents in October we were a 10 win team
I hate being right. First 20 loss season, but is this the fewest wins in program history? Thank god for wrestling this weekend.
by PackerHawk on Mar 3, 2010 9:23 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
How can Barta watch this and bring Lickliter back? I know he will, but this compilation of a team isn’t remotely competitive. We have to go through another year, possibly 2, of sucking ass, and THEN change coaches? Fucking fuck. They’ll have a game with 1,000 people at CHA next year, and the only complaint will be from the people who were actually suckered into attending.
Is there a Bill Snyder of college basketball who's not shady?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 9:20 PM CST up reply actions
Is Raveling awake? Alive?
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 9:21 PM CST up reply actions
Makes you better appreciate why UK was so happy to embrace Calipari. Selling your soul and what not.
i'd take Gillispie now, a tournament appearance won't get you fired here
by PackerHawk on Mar 3, 2010 9:25 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I’m in Dallas and heard Billy on the radio with the local guys a week or 2 ago. Sounds like he’s sober. He is a mother-fucking Texan. That worked out well for Iowa once.
Sounds sober?
Close enough for me. Speaking of, what about Eustachy?
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Mar 3, 2010 9:29 PM CST up reply actions
Sold...get him up here.
At least he’d be fun.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
Billy G...
Cyclone Fanatic (I think) had a rumor about McDermott being shown the door and them bringing in Gillespie to replace him.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
You need someone who can really recruit IMO
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 9:26 PM CST up reply actions
We scored fewer than the football team did against Indiana
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
You scored more than Daryll Clark scored against Iowa.
Wait. No. Damnit.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 3, 2010 9:25 PM CST up reply actions
I think there's a typo on the box score
It says Iowa only scored 16 points in the first half.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2010 9:29 PM CST reply actions
We missed a 20 pointer at the buzzer.
"I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." M.H.
For some reason...
working late in the office had particular appeal tonight. This way I can come home, skim through the angst on BHGP while having a Scotch, and be merely depressed as opposed to worked up and depressed. Or maybe not…
FORTY POINTS???
IN MAJOR COLLEGE BASKETBALL?
WITH A SHOT CLOCK??
SIXTEEN POINTS IN THE FIRST TWENTY MINUTES??
To all of you who wasted two hours this evening, I am deeply sorry for you and even more impressed by your strong and healthy, or overcompensating, sense of farce. One can only take so much. There, my brief outrage at the sorry state of our basketball program, not to mention awe at the karmic power of shunning the Gadsden Purchase, has receded. Time for another Scotch.
Yeah, I know, its pro ball
But I just watched the Suns score 39 in the THIRD QUARTER.
by Mr. Grizz on Mar 3, 2010 11:38 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Just a question.
Is any of the Alumni sending in complaints about Lil Lick. After watching him this entire season(which by the way, requires me to take an extra shot when I see him walk onto the court), there is no reason he even deserves to be in D1 basketball. Can we go out and recruit Hockeybear?
What's the point of complaining about a freshman walkon?
Also, imagine how much worse it would be if he weren’t there. Cully Payne would have to play 40+ a game, every game, since Nick Neari is fictional. Cully Payne is a true freshman who’s still recovering from a broken back.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

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