MARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND 2: HOCKEYBEAR VS. T. M. F. SASH

by Adam Jacobi on Mar 17, 2010 12:05 PM CDT in Football Comment 39 comments

HOCKEYBEAR

Round 1: Defeated the Gadsden Purchase, 512-91

HIGHLIGHT REEL:

Alaska Nanooks 2010 Hockey Intro from Szymon Weglarski on Vimeo.

'BEEN THERE FOR YEARS' OLD SCHOOL HIGHLIGHT REEL:

STATEMENT:

"RAAARAAWWWRRRRARRRWWWGHGHGHGHGRRRWWARRGH" (moon blows up)

TYLER MOTHERFUCKING SASH

Round 1: Defeated the Barbasol Couple, 534-110

HIGHLIGHT REEL:

'BEEN THERE FOR YEARS' OLD SCHOOL HIGHLIGHT REEL:

STATEMENT

From facebook: "Stanzi watches my dog while I'm on Spring break.. less than a day after getting her he sends me a picture of her... Yep he put an American Flag bandana on her.. Love It or Leave It.."

Poll

Who wins?

Hockeybear

141 votes

Tyler Motherfucking Sash

370 votes

511 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs | Comment 39 comments |

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

I can not believe that...

yet again, I am voting against a Hawkeye.

But, if I don’t vote for Hockeybear, he will destroy our galaxy, so….

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Mar 17, 2010 12:08 PM CDT reply actions

Gee, I wonder who will win, a poor, endangered bear or an Iowa player?

Naw, I’m just kidding this time. You can’t vote wrong here.

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 17, 2010 12:08 PM CDT reply actions

I don't know about Tyler JibberJabberin Sash...

but if that picture doesn’t make the Manzi odds-on favorite to win the whole damn thing, you people need to turn the machines back on and start over.

Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.

by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Mar 17, 2010 12:15 PM CDT reply actions

Yes, the legend certainly continues with this post.

"I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er." - Adrian Clayborn

by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Mar 17, 2010 1:19 PM CDT up reply actions

I was just typing the same thing

after seeing Sash’s message about his dog, the whole thing seems irrelevant. Unless the evil villain PAKISTANZI has done something awful to our hero, you can call this for the Manzi.

"Mongo just pawn in game of life" --Mongo (Inspiration by HawkOnRails' Waco Kid)

by Mr. Grizz on Mar 17, 2010 12:16 PM CDT reply actions

There is always another jNW lurking around the corner

by stanfillr on Mar 17, 2010 12:22 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions

Never know when Corey Wootton will make an appearance...

It wouldn’t shock me if Joe Pa would hook up with him… I mean, the old bastard did take a Commie under his wing.

They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!

by recoveringfratguy on Mar 17, 2010 12:43 PM CDT up reply actions

Hardest vote yet

But how do you vote against TMFS?

by stanfillr on Mar 17, 2010 12:17 PM CDT via mobile reply actions

Easy, click the box next to Hockeybear and vote for world peace.

by The Mexican't on Mar 17, 2010 12:22 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

That is ultimately what it came down to for me.

Oh, and this: http://www.military.com/news/article/could-airborne-bears-catch-bin-laden.html

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 17, 2010 12:26 PM CDT up reply actions

Fantastic article.

Thanks for sharing, Rambler.

by The Mexican't on Mar 17, 2010 12:45 PM CDT up reply actions

I always enjoy people with crazy conspiracy theories

They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!

by recoveringfratguy on Mar 17, 2010 12:47 PM CDT up reply actions

Conspiracy theorists are definitely hilarious.

Made for a pretty good laugh.

by The Mexican't on Mar 17, 2010 1:38 PM CDT up reply actions

This one is more sad than funny

I still have people torturing my pelvis and lungs with dispersed sound waves and my eye and stomach, hip, pelvic region with other types of sound waves. When the secret service came out they had a letter all prepared by my mother to force me on disability and not let me live with her and try to leave me penniless and homeless again. They want me to marry the Jewish pilot they’ve been blaming and calling black and live in my mothers home and be tortured and watch us on candid camera. I am going to a disability doctors appointment today. And leaving and going into low-income housing in the Washington DC area in dead air space so my mother will pay off my credit card like she said in her letter. That meets the requirement of the letter and I am not going to stay and be tortured because the pentagon would not fire their employees and the secret service did not get you to make a statement to tell the pentagon to stand down. I will make a statement all across the US as I drive out and the pilots usually only stay a couple weeks when I leave Hermiston so everyone else out here will be taking the heat instead of me and they have already been playing with the cops, sheriffs, judges, etc with magnetic waves and no one can tell the difference. They just use me for confessional and keep saying I am schizophrenic and torturing me to cover for them and make themselves feel better while they screw everyone. Since the Jewish pilot they have been calling black has been threatened if I leave and they have already been playing with him. If you really want him married to me to protect him and break this cycle – you’d better have him land on my doorstep.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Mar 17, 2010 5:32 PM CDT up reply actions

I wonder if PETA would boycot this idea...

…or support it? Hmmm.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 17, 2010 3:27 PM CDT up reply actions

Except that the CIA killed Bin Laden years ago...

…though I don’t know if J Leman was involved.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 17, 2010 3:31 PM CDT up reply actions

I knew there was a reason we continue to let you post here.

My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com

by Leftcoast Hawk on Mar 17, 2010 3:45 PM CDT up reply actions

Besides this one

My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com

by Leftcoast Hawk on Mar 17, 2010 3:46 PM CDT up reply actions

And not to forget this one

My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com

by Leftcoast Hawk on Mar 17, 2010 3:47 PM CDT up reply actions

If you're not careful, I'm going to start calling you "Leftcoast Chazz".

No offense, WaterlooChazz.

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 17, 2010 3:58 PM CDT up reply actions

seconded

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 17, 2010 3:25 PM CDT up reply actions

Clearly Stanzi wins this round

"I know you're from Middle America, and sometimes you feel like you're representing more than just a school or a conference, maybe an entire group of American citizens out there."

by Twin Cities Hawk on Mar 17, 2010 12:32 PM CDT reply actions

I'm really voting

to avoid a clash between TMFS & the Manzi. Giving one of them bragging rights over the other in this closely watched nationwide vote is not the path to lockerroom harmony.

Facts sometimes have a strange and bizarre power that makes their inherent truth seem unbelievable. - Werner Herzog

by Flakbait on Mar 17, 2010 12:41 PM CDT reply actions

If it comes down to those two maybe we'll need a third choice like "TIE - both are badassed"

by HawkeyeRecon on Mar 17, 2010 1:13 PM CDT up reply actions

Unless something dramatic happens

it looks like Hockeybear is going down. This will surely make him angry and he will now destory Iowa City in next season’s video montage

by HeroPatriotStanzi on Mar 17, 2010 1:06 PM CDT reply actions

Too bad Stanzi didn’t put an American flag bandanna on Ace

by John Carlson on Mar 17, 2010 1:17 PM CDT reply actions

I would vote for HB...

but before I could, TMFS would probs intercept every power and nuclear device he possessed and render him as helpless as one of his brethren floating on a lone sheet of ice.

"I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er." - Adrian Clayborn

by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Mar 17, 2010 1:22 PM CDT reply actions

If Hockeybear had a star-spangled bandanna, things might have turned out different.

by TEXaco on Mar 17, 2010 1:23 PM CDT reply actions

I am very tempted to photoshop TMFS into this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpwdcmjBgNA

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 17, 2010 1:53 PM CDT reply actions

What.

ಠ_ಠ

It took a move to LA to figure out how big of a dick I really am.

by With Ferentz Like These... on Mar 17, 2010 1:59 PM CDT up reply actions

Scared. Very Scared.

I wanted to vote for TMFS. I tried to vote for TMFS. I watched all the videos multiple times and realized one thing. I’m scared. I’m scared of the ~~bear~~ Bear.

I would like to be the first to say that I, for one, welcome our new Bear Overload, and would like to let him know that in my trusted position as an IT Guy, that I will help in the destruction of IT Systems as per his liking.