MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 2: RICKY STANZI VS. GIRLS GENERATION

Gglockerroom2_medium
In a locker room in South Korea...
Gg1icon_medium   We need to continue practicing before we meet Ricky Stanzi in the Marchifornication tournament.  We should want to impress him.
Gg2icon_medium   Let's take it from the top again.  Five, six, seven, eight!
Gg3icon_medium   SHOW ME YOUR NEW MAKEUP IN A BRAND NEW SOUND
Gg4icon_medium   SAY THE WORDS ALOUD THAT MAKE YOU RUN AROUND
Gg5icon_medium   DANCE DANCE DANCE TIL WE RUN THIS TOWN
Gg6icon_medium   OOMPAH OOMPAH OWIE OWIE DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN
Gg2icon_medium  Wait, stop.  Stop.
Gg1icon_medium  Who is the creepy guy staring in the window?
Gg3icon_medium  Why does this rocker loom have a window anyway?  Shouldn't there be no outside windows?
Gg5icon_medium  And what happen to our pompoms in that scene at the end where there is a football game?
Gg2icon_medium  All good questions.  Our video is rife with continuity errors that only someone who has watched it at least 100 times would notice.  But let's figure this thing out first.
Gg2icon_medium  Excuse me, who are you?
Gglockerroom3paki_medium
Pakiicon_medium   Hello, Korean pop supergroup Girls Generation!  I'm Paki O'Meara!
Gg1icon_medium  /confused
Gg3icon_medium  /befuddled
Pakiicon_medium  I'm sure you know me.  I am a senior running back on your favorite tackle football team.  Last year, I started the season opener, when we nearly lost to the University of Northern Iowa!  Thank goodness for those blocked field goals, or our faces sure would have been red!
Gg5icon_medium  /doesn't know Paki O'Meara
Gg2icon_medium  /trying to figure out why his hair looks like a mushroom cloud
Pakiicon_medium   /holds up Iowa helmet
Gglockerroom4_medium

Gg1icon_medium  OMG OMG OMG OMG
Gg2icon_medium  /faints
Gg6icon_medium  /vomits
Gg3icon_medium  /makes heart shape with hands and shoots sparks
Gg4icon_medium  /spills drink on vintage iMac
Gg5icon_medium  /hair turns even blonder
Gg1icon_medium  OMG OMG OMG OMG are you the Ricky Stanzi?
Pakiicon_medium  NO I AM BETTER THAN RICKY STAN...I mean, no, I'm not Ricky Stanzi.  I'm Paki O'Meara!
Gg2icon_medium  We want to meet the Ricky Stanzi!
Gg1icon_medium Gg2icon_medium Gg3icon_medium Gg4icon_medium Gg5icon_medium Gg6icon_medium  RICKY!  RICKY!  RICKY!
Pakiicon_medium  Ladies, ladies, ladies, please.  If you follow me, I will take you to Ricky Stanzi.  He's waiting to meet you in that room over there...
Gg1icon_medium Gg2icon_medium Gg3icon_medium Gg4icon_medium Gg5icon_medium Gg6icon_medium  RICKY!  RICKY!  RICKY!
Gg1icon_medium Gg2icon_medium Gg3icon_medium Gg4icon_medium Gg5icon_medium Gg6icon_medium  /enter basement
Pakiicon_medium  /locks Girls Generation in basement
Pakiicon_medium  DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD TAKE YOU TO RICKY STANZI?!?  AS IF RICKY STANZI DESERVES YOU!
Pakiicon_medium  IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY PLAY AGAINST NORTHERN IOWA, WE WOULD HAVE LOST!  THE SEASON WOULD HAVE BEEN A DISASTER IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME!
Pakiicon_medium  BUT EVERY WEEK IT'S RICKY STANZI THIS AND RICKY STANZI THAT AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT PICK SIX RICKY, IT'S ONLY ANOTHER STANZIBALL!  WHAT ABOUT ME?  WHAT ABOUT PAKI?  WHY DON'T I GET TO PLAY?  WHY DON'T I GET TO BE IN MARCHIFORNICATION?
Pakiicon_medium  FORGET RUNNING BACK!  I SHOULD BE QUARTERBACKING THIS TEAM!  ALL THE ACCOLADES SHOULD BE MINE!  I SHOULD BE GETTING USA BACK TATTOOS AND MAKING PATRIOTIC STATEMENTS TO ALL MY FRIENDS AT FOX NEWS!
Pakiicon_medium  WELL, I KNOW RICKY STANZI.  RICKY STANZI WON'T AVOID THIS CONFRONTATION.  RICKY STANZI WILL TRY TO RESCUE YOU, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT RICKY STANZI DOES.  AND WHEN HE DOES, HE WILL FALL RIGHT INTO MY TRAP!
Pakiicon_medium  I WILL CAPTURE HIM, AND THEN I WILL TAKE ON HIS PERSONA AND TAKE HIS JOB!
Pakiicon_medium  JUST ONE MORE THING TO DO BEFORE HE GETS HERE.  I NEED TO PUT ON MY DISGUISE.
Pakiicon_medium  /puts on mask
Pakiicon_medium  MY TRANSFORMATION IS COMPLETE!  I AM NO LONGER PAKI O'MEARA, WALK-ON HALFBACK AND SPECIAL TEAMS SUPERSTAR!  FROM NOW ON, I AM...

 

Pakistanzi_medium
...PAKISTANZI!

 

To be continued...

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