Bring Us Your Brackets, They're Our Meat
by RossWB on Mar 10, 2010 11:26 PM CST
in Wrestling
83 comments
BACON FTW! (via www.sogoodblog.com)
(Quick Thoughts on the brackets after the jump)
133
GOOD NEWS: Minnesota's Jayson Ness (#1) is on the other side of the bracket. After Dennis' last two matches with him, I think we can all agree that it's best if he stays FAR FAR AWAY from Dan. The only other guy to beat Dennis all season, Oklahoma State's Jordan Oliver (#4), is also on the other side of the bracket.
BAD NEWS: On the other hand, Michigan State's Franklin Gomez (#3) is on Dennis' side of the bracket. Granted, Dennis has been wildly successful against him in their last handful of matches... but can that last? They've all been insanely close matches, decided by a move here or there. Sooner or later, that result usually changes. (See: Metcalf-Palmer.)
141
GOOD NEWS: Ohio State's Reece Humphrey (#4) is on the other side of the bracket as is, the 1-seed, Cornell's Kyle Dake. Marion needs to stay far, far away from Humphrey. The highest seed on Marion's side are guys he's already beaten once this year, Oklahoma State's Jamal Parks (#2) and Minnesota's Mike Thorn (#3).
BAD NEWS: On the other hand, both Parks and Thorn have been wrestling very well lately. Thorn owns two wins over Marion this season and was in stunning form at the Big Ten Tournament. If that continues, Marion is gonna have to do his damage in the consolation bracket.
149
GOOD NEWS: Brent Metcalf is still Brent fucking Metcalf. The one guy who's given him fits lately, Ohio State's Lance Palmer, is the 1-seed and on the opposite side of the bracket. The toughest seed on Metcalf's side of the bracket is Oklahoma's Kyle Terry (#3); Metcalf hasn't faced him yet this year, but he did beat him via major decision (14-6) in last year's NCAA Tournament.
BAD NEWS: Well, not much considering it's Metcalf and not many guys have given him trouble in his career. Technically, Terry is another year older and more experienced. American's Kyle Borshoff could be Metcalf's second round opponent, and he was an All-American last year.
157
GOOD NEWS: Iowa qualified a guy at 157. Couldn't say that last year.
BAD NEWS: If Kerr gets by his first round match (Arizona State's Tejovan Edwards), his reward is probably a match with the 1-seed, Harvard's J.P. O'Connor. He's only 30-0.
165
GOOD NEWS: Three of the guys who've given Morningstar fits over the past two years, Wisconsin's Andrew Howe (#1), Ohio State's Colt Sponseller (#5), and Iowa State's Jon Reader (#4), are all on the other side of the bracket.
BAD NEWS: Well, that mysterious knee injury isn't good news. Last year's national champion, Edinboro's Jarrod King, looms as a potential quarterfinal opponent if Morningstar can get that far. Morningstar's first opponent (West Virginia's Donald Jones) was a guy he wrestled in the first round last year. He needed OT to beat him then and now he's hobbled. Gulp.
174
GOOD NEWS: The primary threat at 174, Cornell's Mack Lewnes (#1), is on the other side of the bracket. Aside from Virginia's Christopher Henrich (#3) and Binghamton's Joshua Patterson (#11), Borschel's wrestled -- and defeated -- all of the other seeded wrestlers on his side of the bracket. Michigan's Justin Zeerip and his "incredibly strong strength" is on the other side of the bracket.
BAD NEWS: Not much. Henrich is the only returning All-American at 174, so he knows what to do come tourney time.
184
GOOD NEWS: Illinois' John Dergo (#2), who stymied Keddy at the Big Ten Tournament, is on the other side of the bracket. Keddy's seen three of the four guys seeded higher than him on his side of the bracket -- Boise State's Kirk Smith (#1), American's Michael Cannon (#4), and Oklahoma State's Clayton Forster (#5)...
BAD NEWS: ... on the other hand, he's only 1-2 against those guys this season. He lost in OT to Smith (3-1), got handled by Cannon (7-1), and narrowly edged Foster (3-2). All of those matches came earlier in the season when Keddy was strugging with injuries and conditioning, but his consistency hasn't been ideal this year.
197
GOOD NEWS: Chad's healthy enough to wrestle.
BAD NEWS: His draw sucks. If he gets by his first match against Oklahoma State's dirty communist import, Alan Gelogaev (who's tricky), he'll probably face Minnesota's Sonny Yohn (#8), who bounced Chad from the Big Ten Tournament. And if he beats him... well, a quarterfinal date with Iowa State's Jake Varner is likely. And he's never beaten Varner, although he kept it to a 4-1 decision loss the last time they fought.
HWT
GOOD NEWS: The top seeds on Erekson's side of the bracket look eminently beatable. Erekson got a dramatic pin over Iowa State's David Zabriskie (#1) in last year's NCAA Tourney and he lost a narrow decision at the 2009 NCAA Tournament to last year's national champion, Missouri's Mark Ellis (#9), who's also been suffering through a disappointing season (18-10). Last year's national runner-up, Duke's Konrad Dudziak (#4), Erekson's likely quarterfinal opponent, missed a big chunk of the season for disciplinary reasons.
BAD NEWS: Zabriskie, Ellis, and Dudziak could be tricky opponents if they get their shit together.
(Yes, the title refers to a jNWU blog; despite its unpleasant heritage, it's flat out awesome.)
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Personally
I’m having real problems with prosciutto vs. pepperoni. I usually default win bacon for just about anything, but it’s been an awfully long time since I had a true Iowa chop. Scallops are big for me, so maybe bacon-wrapped scallops? Bacon-wrapped anything? And where’s the prime rib, under roast beef? A travesty, I tell you. Excuse me, its 10:30 and I need to hit the fridge.
Oh, wrestling. My scientific projection is we win. Metcalf, this is your chance for vindication.
Rabbits are poultry?
In that case, I will take black bean burger to win the pork bracket.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 11, 2010 12:19 AM CST reply actions
Did you know
that baby rabbits (a.k.a. “laurice”) were classified as fish by the Catholic Church, and could be eaten during Lent in the middle ages?
Brunettes not fighter jets
Now hold on a second here
Are you saying the Catholic Church ignored science?
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 11, 2010 11:47 AM CST up reply actions
It's completely unfair
that Corned Beef and Lamb are paired in the first round, as that is a definite regional finals match-up. Corned Beef must have had a disappointing regular season, as they are much, much better than that seed. It matters not, however, as the winner of that game will be the sacrificial lamb (Hey! Guess that worked out!) for bacon in the championship.
By the way, HFMR, my wife once received a round of applause from the waitstaff in a local restaurant for ordering a black bean burger with bacon on it.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Crab must have been a virtual washout in the regular season.
A 6-seed? Behind Tuna? That’s unpossible!
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Crab lacks versatility
and is hurt by its pale imitator, Krab (we know it’s whitefish, you assholes!).
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:26 PM CST up reply actions
thanks for the picture
"Well of course, there's nothing better than being American!!!" - Ricky Americanzi, Jan. 5th, 2010
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 11, 2010 7:28 AM CST reply actions
Have to say I am suprised
Metcalf is the # 2 seed.
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride." HST
Why?
Palmer beat him handily head-to-head, and Metcalf looked very shaky in that match. I still think he’s the best wrestler, but Palmer earned the seed.
by benvious on Mar 11, 2010 7:54 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
You could argue it based on body of work.
Metcalf had a more dominant season and they’re 1-1 h2h this season.
But the NCAA seeders tend to place a greater importance on recent results, which is why Palmer got the nod.
I think it’s fairly irrelevant, personally — they’re clearly the best two 149 guys in the nation, so as long as they’re on opposite sides of the bracket and can’t meet until the finals, it’s fine. If anything, it’s probably slightly advantageous for Metcalf, since Palmer will be the one with the biggest target on his back this time. Palmer will also have to deal with Ruschell, who’s given him trouble in the past and who has said he’s very motivated to knock off Palmer… and as we’ve seen with Caldwell-Metcalf and Palmer-Metcalf, a focused opponent who’s been prepping hard for you can be a scary thing.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
too high or too low?
"Well of course, there's nothing better than being American!!!" - Ricky Americanzi, Jan. 5th, 2010
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 11, 2010 7:55 AM CST up reply actions
Too Low
He has beaten Palmer numerous times while Palmer only has 1 win (albiet the latest) and has won a National Title.
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride." HST
Just more motivation...........
as if Mr. Metcalf needs any more motivation.
Life is hard. It's really hard if you're stupid.
Heh.
(I think it looks slightly nauseating, actually, but I couldn’t resist posting the pic.)
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I think this would be better...
Turbaconducken. Yes!
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 11, 2010 10:05 AM CST up reply actions
What in the living HELL is that?
And where can I find the recipe?
by EnergizerHawk on Mar 11, 2010 10:09 AM CST up reply actions
It's a turbaconducken.
A turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken. Wrapped in bacon.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 11, 2010 10:13 AM CST up reply actions
I've also heard it called
a Bacon Turducken. Just another way of saying “awesome”
by HeroPatriotStanzi on Mar 11, 2010 11:41 AM CST up reply actions
I think my heart just stopped
due to all the awesome
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 11, 2010 4:42 PM CST up reply actions
That's only slightly less frightening than this:
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Oh yeah, meat baby is a classic. But have you seen...
Baby Cake?
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 11, 2010 10:45 AM CST up reply actions
That is... SO wrong!
I bet it’s a hit at those cannibal weddings!
by EnergizerHawk on Mar 11, 2010 10:48 AM CST up reply actions
See...
this is where I would post a link to a video of the “Baby Tastes Like Soup” faux ad from Viva Variety, but the interwebs has failed me on that front.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Uh, look at the lips...
…that is clearly a Meat Crack-Baby.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 11, 2010 11:55 AM CST up reply actions
"meat crack"
Ew.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 11, 2010 12:04 PM CST up reply actions
I'm not sure what I'm looking at
but I either want to shoot it or have sex with it. I’m so confused.
Keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either, Dude.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Mar 11, 2010 10:42 AM CST up reply actions
Kinda the same thing, sometimes.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 11, 2010 10:46 AM CST up reply actions
This is all I see
Mmmm….delicious, bacon-wrapped Predator.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:28 PM CST up reply actions
Blasphemer!
"Well of course, there's nothing better than being American!!!" - Ricky Americanzi, Jan. 5th, 2010
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 11, 2010 10:41 AM CST up reply actions
Angel Escobedo, representing the Cali cartel.
"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi will transcend the ages." - Cairo
Lamb is clearly a paper 2-seed and is ripe for an upset.
It dominated a weak conference.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
The committee sucks this year.
Lobster as a 1 seed and crab as a 2 seed? Are you kidding me?
"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi will transcend the ages." - Cairo
by ReadingRambler on Mar 11, 2010 8:57 AM CST up reply actions
6 seed for crab, rather.
"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi will transcend the ages." - Cairo
by ReadingRambler on Mar 11, 2010 8:58 AM CST up reply actions
Lobster
is Duke. They’re awfully fancy and look impressive enough when pitted against other seafood dishes with basic preparations (the regular season). But what happens when you try to make it teriyaki style? Indian? Grilled? When they meet up with a more athletic team that can play a variety of styles (shrimp, a sleeper at 5, has “Kansas State” written all over them) they are exposed.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:32 PM CST up reply actions
How did pastrami get shut out of the tourney?
It is, after all, the most sensual of the salted, cured meats.
by Wegher Please! on Mar 11, 2010 8:35 AM CST via mobile reply actions
Now WHY did you do that?
I’m hungry AGAIN, and not for these raw almonds in my briefcase. Still, I’ll go back.
All I can think of when I go to that site
is, who the hell thinks of this stuff? And who actually takes the time to create them?
Next time in Madison WI
Try out Bluephies. It claims to be a restaurant and vodkatorium, but the desserts are the real winner: chocolate chip cookie dough wantons. Nice and crispy on the outside, and the cookie dough is at that just right meltiness. They throw on a scoop or two of ice cream as well.
Keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either, Dude.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Mar 11, 2010 10:49 AM CST up reply actions
On a similar note
if you’re in Chicago, try Kuma’s. Their burgers will destroy your arteries and the music will melt your face off.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:36 PM CST up reply actions
And yes
the “Slayer” lists “anger” as an ingredient.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:37 PM CST up reply actions
WANT.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
It's absurdly good
and, if you like the Suicide Girls-type, the waitresses are…enjoyable.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:44 PM CST up reply actions
I just noticed
Pork ribs, which would include of course, BBQ ribs, as a 7 seed? I am offended. And hungry again. I really need to get off this thread.
Agreed.
Ribs should make the regional final against bacon. I mean, who likes sausage?
/baits the commentariat
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Mar 11, 2010 1:37 PM CST up reply actions
Are you kidding?!?
The sheer variety (Brat, Italian, Polish, etc.) makes it a surefire contender. They play up-tempo AND half-court.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:38 PM CST up reply actions
Could someone fill in an eastcoaster
on what exactly is an Iowa Chop?
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face
It's a thicker, center-cut chop.
Much better than a run-of-the-mill pork chop.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Damn, Sounds Delicious
I must make a trip out there
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face
It must be at least an inch thick to qualify.
It redefines the concept of pork chop into a trancendant meat experience.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 11, 2010 11:23 AM CST up reply actions
See!
Despite his obvious affinity for poultry, Bucket also recognizes the greatness of the Iowa Chop.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Pork forever.
Lancaster County forever.
Cows are only good for milk.
"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo
by ReadingRambler on Mar 11, 2010 11:40 AM CST up reply actions
mmmmm
There’s still a Machine Shed in the Quad Cities, right? I think the one in Des Moines was the last true Iowa chop I had.
And on the topic of pork chops, anybody been on RAGBRAI recently? Is Mr. Pork Chop still there?
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 11, 2010 4:47 PM CST up reply actions
I have eaten at Machine Shed
probably more than any other non-Hamburg Inn/Village Inn restaurant in Iowa. Pork orgy.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 5:50 PM CST up reply actions
May I suggest the meat counter at Fareway?
Come and visit Iowa City, find a grill and go to this grocery store. As a person that no longer lives in Iowa I didn’t respect the access to real meat I had growing up.
"Well of course, there's nothing better than being American!!!" - Ricky Americanzi, Jan. 5th, 2010
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 11, 2010 11:44 AM CST up reply actions
Link fail
<img src=“”http://s218.photobucket.com/albums/cc316/nakana007/?action=view¤t=Iowachop.jpg" target="_blank">
"/>
Oh yeah.
That’s getting saved to the Food Porn pictures folder for sure.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 11, 2010 12:02 PM CST up reply actions
Do you have a high-res version of that?
I’d like to put that on my desktop background on the work computer :)
by EnergizerHawk on Mar 11, 2010 12:22 PM CST up reply actions
It's my background right now...
and yeah, we need a higher-res.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 11, 2010 1:51 PM CST up reply actions
I second that thought. and I'm in Texas now...
Nothing like an good ol’ Iowa Chop and corn on the cob on a summer evening. Yummy. I’m hungry now… Oh, lookie, it’s lunch time. Yay, me!
by EnergizerHawk on Mar 11, 2010 12:20 PM CST up reply actions
Especially if you do them both on the grill.
To me, summer isn’t really in full swing until I smell slightly charred corn husks in my backyard.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Mar 11, 2010 1:38 PM CST up reply actions
Overall
If you go strictly by animal, pork should win hands down for number of entries, with cow a close second.
It's too early for football to be over, goddamit!!
A post-mortem of the amputated digit found conclusive evidence that Norm Parker does indeed have more talent in his pinky toe than certain coaches have in their entirety.
Interesting
I see the following regional finals:
Steak vs. Corned Beef
Lobster vs. Salmon
Bacon vs. Ribs
Chicken vs. Turkey
Really, too much chalk, but I’ll take my chances.
Also, I can’t believe Schlatter got a 6 seed despite a) wild-carding and b)not wrestling at 157 for most of the year. The title is yours to lose, Hawkeyes, I just hope we get a few individual titles and 2nd.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Mar 11, 2010 12:53 PM CST reply actions
Lobster is going down in round 2.
This is Bacon’s tournament to lose.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:39 PM CST up reply actions
Absolutely agree.
Your final four is Tuna, Buffalo, Chicken and Bacon. Mark it down.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Mar 11, 2010 1:40 PM CST up reply actions
Tuna v. Shrimp
has the makings of one of those classic 4/5 games, where both are much better than their seed and are both peaking/healthy at the same time.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 1:46 PM CST up reply actions
They actually already voted on this meat business.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Or, if you prefer a readable version:
Bacon was indeed triumphant, but Crab was the Cinderella story of the tourney. Gratifying to see Ribs make the Elite 8, too.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Damn!
I had bacon winning, but the rest of my bracket is in shambles. I was really counting on duck to come out of the poultry region.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 5:49 PM CST up reply actions
Duck over chicken and turkey?
Sniffing glue before filling out your bracket is never advisable.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Turkey is like fireworks,
kinda cool for one day a year, and then just generally disappointing thereafter. And to knock duck…my friend, you have never eaten this man’s duck mole or had the joy of truly great cassoulet. Duck is Villanova in ’85…or at least “Big Country” Bryant Reeves-led Okie State in ’95.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 11, 2010 6:56 PM CST up reply actions
Turkey, a one-day meat?
Pshaw. It’s always good in sandwiches.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Agreed.
That why I roll with Turkey, Ham, Roast Beef and bacon on my sandwiches.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Mar 12, 2010 12:59 PM CST up reply actions
Sorry, but
Pastrami and Corned Beef are king for me. However, I am lucky enough to live in an area with actual Jewish delis. Once you’ve tried their wares, you may indeed feel the same.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 12, 2010 4:37 PM CST up reply actions
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