Great Moments in 2000's Iowa Football, No. 1 -- The Metrodome Is Annexed to Iowa
by Patrick Vint on Feb 26, 2010 1:45 PM CST
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With the 2009 season complete, BHGP looks back at the ten most sublimely absurd moments of the past decade for this sublimely absurd team, counting them down over the next two weeks the indefinite future.
The list so far:
10. Parking Gate-Gate
9. A Fair to Remember
8. "Two Words: Iowa Hawkeye Pride"
7. Shawn Prater Gets Roofied
6. Beutjer Becomes Someone Else's Future
5. Calloway and the Moped
4. The Rise and Fall of CBI
3. Brian Kinchen Gets Kinda Gay
2. Riley Reiff Loses His Shirt
The Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, former home field of the Minnesota Gophers, became Iowa's home away from home in the 2000's. Not only did Iowa win three games at Minnesota this decade, but it made a habit of pouring salt in the Gopher wounds by bringing 25,000 fans who generally acted like it was an Incubus concert. In 2004, a last-second field goal attempt by Rhys Lloyd flailed wildly left, giving Iowa a two-point win and sending the upper deck into hysterics. In the last game ever played at that decrepit old bubble, Iowa hung 55 on the Gophers and defiled their bathrooms for good measure.
But it all began in 2002, as the most surreal season in the history of the program came to a close in Minneapolis. Iowa spanked Minnesota 45-21 to finish Big Ten play undefeated for the first time in program history, close out an 11-1 campaign, and send the Hawkeyes to a BCS game for the first time ever. The Iowa fans in attendance -- and, by midway through the fourth quarter, Iowa fans were all who remained in attendance -- threw roses on the field. Then they threw themselves on the field. Then they lifted their collective leg and staked claim to the Metrodome in one of the all-time great moments in ownage, tearing down Minnesota's goalposts and attempting to carry them out of the stadium. To this day, it remains the ultimate trump card in any discussion of the Iowa-Minnesota rivalry, and it is unquestionably the most surreal moment of the last decade. Ladies and gentlemen, The Goalposts:
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They need to move back to the Metrodome to complete the "Pitt = Minnesota" comparison
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
Or
industry around Minneapolis could just collapse and the comparison would still work.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 2:12 PM CST up reply actions
Pittsburgh replaced their industry with law firms and tourist traps.
Would Minneapolis replace their industry with Waffle Houses and musems to Mystery Science Theater 3000?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Feb 26, 2010 2:59 PM CST up reply actions
They have nothing to replace
since Sex World and Prince’s house count as industry and tourist traps.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 3:07 PM CST up reply actions
I Love that Place
I generally hate domes for watching football and baseball, but because of the Hawks I can love the HH. I had the pleasure of being there for the last three games at Kinnick North and with the exception of 2006, the group I went with had a blast. Driniking with 25,000 loyal hawk fans and enjoying a hawkeye win on enemy ground is rather special.
by American Bad Ass on Feb 26, 2010 4:56 PM CST reply actions
I hate that place
It’s lousy to watch any sport. But they served us beer. So I suppose it’s a wash.
But damn if being at this game isn’t my favorite football memory
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 26, 2010 5:00 PM CST up reply actions
Metrodome sucked
…but I was on the field after this game and it is easily my favorite experience as a Hawkeye fan.
Don't throw rocks at the throne.
I was in the Hawkeye Marching Band during the 2002 season
and the band traveled up north for this game. The experience was sublime, and then quite humorous: we were taking to the field to perform our "post game show, and then the announcement came over the loudspeakers:
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE CLEAR THE FIELD IMMEDIATELY,” followed instantly by that ‘riot tone’ noise. The fans went straight for the goalpost, and when it came down, our director went into panic mode. “Everyone get out of here NOW – meet at the buses!”
God I love Hawkeye Nation!
"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad." - The Waco Kid
Ladies And Gentlemen
On Feb 6 I called minnesotans pussies for their non-reaction to the goal post incident. The reply, by Kyle McCann’t, was worthy of a Pulitzer Prize. If I were a wealthy man, I would purchase the giant inflatable toilet known as the Metrodome, have it demolished and use the rubble to spell out these words in letters large enough to be seen from space.
Minnesotans are masochists. Seriously, they get off on being humiliated and then look their aggressors in the eye and lustfully gasp, "more! Please, more!" They watched their most hated college football rivals come into their building and degrade them in every way possible. During every late-season Twins playoff push, they pack their garbage bag-lined baseball field knowing full-well their team will gloriously fail to beat teams whose two highest-paid players likely make as much as the entire Minnesota club combined. Their NFL team put all their effort into recruiting a once-hated tormentor from their mortal enemy knowing full well that his tragically flawed nature would allow them to come within reach of football heaven only to be cast into hell in the most painful way possible. Fuck, their NBA team once had as their head coach a man whose son was busy quarterbacking the Hawkeyes into the Rose Bowl! It was an inside job! They elect wrestlers and comedians and people named "Humphrey" to be the faces of their political establishment and then wallow in the derision of a nation. I’m telling you, they want to be spanked because they’ve been bad. Just think of Minnesota as one giant willing bukkake target; they want to be covered in warm, sticky failure.
by Kyle McCann’t on Feb 6, 2010 12:47 PM CST
In 100 years, we'll all be dead.
THAT, sir, is goddamned poetry.
I hoist a well-filled glass to McCann’t for that perfectly written description of Minnesooooootans.
You could see me blushing
if my head weren’t so far up my own ass most of the time. That was a bit of verbal diarrhea on my part which, upon reflecting back on it, is sort of embarrassing (that last bit was just gross). I think Patton Oswalt’s description of KFC’s Famous Bowls applies to the Minnesotans who, er, packed (?) the Metrodome all these years; “A Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl.” Iowa just poured on the gravy.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 27, 2010 9:57 AM CST up reply actions
Fair Enough
Having posted a few things on the internet myself, I understand and have no desire to embarrass you . Since I can’t see myself NOT wanting to repost that at some point in the future, I will leave off the last sentence and your name. Unless you really, really rather that I would just let it go completely.
Don’t know when, don’t know where, but someday.
In 100 years, we'll all be dead.
Nah! Don't worry about it.
I know what I’m getting into when I post on-line and it’s not like someone can’t find the initial post if they were to look for it. Now if I went and put my real name on the by-line, like Adam “The Suit” Jacobi…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 27, 2010 11:47 AM CST up reply actions
didnt the gopher athletic
dept erase the LAST Floyd battle from their books?
Um, YES that happened.
We salute you (insert lolgopher SID name) for teaching your young kids that it’s ok to go into denial in your formative yrs to prepare for future, Epic Fail(s).
Keep it up, you’ve got my full support.
Also, thanks for hilarious vikings title gm loss.
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
by pfac51 on Feb 27, 2010 1:51 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I'm convinced
that this type of goalpost ownership won’t happen again.
You see, the kids are just pussies and wimps.
Come on, kids! Freak my shit!
This was the funniest thing I have ever seen in a sporting event.
Thanks for this list, it made me forget about my hangover for a while.
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