"I don't always drink wine. But when I do, I prefer about four bottles at a time."

That dapper gentleman is NBA coaching legend Don Nelson, who also just so happens to be one of Iowa's best basketball players in program history. And that's why we're running that photo without a hint of reservation about "relevance." 

We think he looks like Captain Kangaroo if he ever got his hair game right, but there's some other resemblance there that we can't put our fingers on. It's not Mr. Belvedere, and it's not Scotty from Star Trek. Maybe John Madden with a moustache, but that doesn't sound right. Barf from Spaceballs? Eh, now we're reaching. What do you guys think?

(Also, this serves as your warning that Marchifornication starts Monday. Get ready to get some.)