Don Nelson Is A Wine Man, Thank You
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 26, 2010 8:00 AM CST
in Basketball
52 comments
"I don't always drink wine. But when I do, I prefer about four bottles at a time."
That dapper gentleman is NBA coaching legend Don Nelson, who also just so happens to be one of Iowa's best basketball players in program history. And that's why we're running that photo without a hint of reservation about "relevance."
We think he looks like Captain Kangaroo if he ever got his hair game right, but there's some other resemblance there that we can't put our fingers on. It's not Mr. Belvedere, and it's not Scotty from Star Trek. Maybe John Madden with a moustache, but that doesn't sound right. Barf from Spaceballs? Eh, now we're reaching. What do you guys think?
(Also, this serves as your warning that Marchifornication starts Monday. Get ready to get some.)
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Schnelly
Looks like Schnellenberger to me. That is, if he were castrated, which would be impossible. They don’t make bolt cutters that strong.
"Nothing cleanses the soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
Oh, God. Marchifornication.
Should we expect the seeding to be rolled out in epic Selection Sunday fashion? Jamie Pollard’s clown secretary can’t possibly be lower than a 3 seed.
Selection Sunday is Sunday
It’s sort of MarchiFebruarycation, sure, but we need some time.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Hawkeye State on Feb 26, 2010 8:50 AM CST up reply actions
My fingers are crossed for at-large berth
for Tyger Kuntz and her musky crotch-scented hula hoop. I love this time of year.
by Pubes in Pink Urinals on Feb 26, 2010 10:39 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
He looks like the Finnish disco teacher.
Nelly probably moves like him too. If you haven’t seen it before, enjoy his grrroove:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJusCpFXmS0
He probably has his own wine now. But who doesn't?
You can't mention baffling winemakers
without mentioning this. If hangovers are like hurricanes in your head, this would be hurricane Ditka.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 8:48 AM CST up reply actions
Hell
Even porn stars are releasing wines. Link is SFW, unless you really hate the NY Times
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
You mock
but have you tried her cabernet sauvigdong or gewsquirtztraminer?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 4:55 PM CST up reply actions
As a matter of fact
I have. Very full-bodied with a strong nose, goes great with a steak. Little disconcerting that it makes your pee burn, though, But some penicilin ususally clears that up.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
My other criticism
is that it is too dry…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 8:49 PM CST up reply actions
Totally Mr. George Papadapolis
From the lovable 80’s tv show Webster. Real name, Alex Karras.
Funny, because
M’am, from Webster, reminds me of MacMcCausland, father of former Hawkeye basketball player, Kent. At least they have the same haircut…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 9:10 AM CST up reply actions
Quick search on IMDB...
Was on the 1956 Iowa Rose Bowl championship team, 2nd runner-up for the Heisman, and won the Outland Trophy for best interior lineman. Also apparently his most memorable moment as an actor is when he punched a horse in the face in Blazing Saddles. Guess I know what I’ll be watching this weekend.
I just read that too
and am now wondering how on earth he has not become more of a cult icon on this site. I mean, he was on a winning Rose Bowl team and was in “Webster” and “Blazing Saddles”. He is a legend!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 9:15 AM CST up reply actions
Well, for one
He fucking hated Iowa and hasn’t come back since graduation. That was more than 50 years ago.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 26, 2010 9:34 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
Ooh!
Tell me more!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 9:35 AM CST up reply actions
Mongo has made plenty of appearance...
but as OPS points out, he isn’t exactly on Iowa’s short list for graduation speakers
From Wikipedia…
Hawkeye teammate Randy Duncan said,
" Karras hated Evashevski, and he still does. I think Karras hated Evy for a lot of reasons. Evy was on everybody’s back, and he was on Karras’ back big time. Karras was a great football player, but he didn’t really like offense and, in those days, you had to go both ways. So he didn’t block anybody. What he wanted to do was chase down quarterbacks and play defense. "
Karras has not returned to Iowa since his playing days. He once remarked,
" It’s ridiculous for Iowa to try to compete with Ohio State and Michigan in the Big Ten. Those schools have alumni groups that can get them anything they want.
Ankles! We don't need no stinking ankles!
by three and out the kok story on Feb 26, 2010 9:37 AM CST up reply actions
Full link
Ankles! We don't need no stinking ankles!
by three and out the kok story on Feb 26, 2010 9:38 AM CST up reply actions
Thanks!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 9:40 AM CST up reply actions
And Michigan's alumni groups got them...
Almost heaven, West Virginia.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Feb 26, 2010 10:20 AM CST up reply actions
Apparently?
Wait, you didn’t know that?
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 26, 2010 5:20 PM CST up reply actions
That photo of Nellie
is actually from halftime of a Mavs/Spurs game. Of course he doesn’t stress defense, it makes him sleeeeepy.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Put some sunglasses on him and ...
The Colonel James from “Boogie Nights.”
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 26, 2010 9:18 AM CST reply actions
See?
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 26, 2010 9:30 AM CST up reply actions
Win!
+100 & Solidarity for all time.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 9:21 AM CST up reply actions
Incidentally, Hayden Fry looks like Polish dictator Wojciech Jaruzelski
The implication, of course, is that Harden Fry is a dirty communist.
Come on, man
They’re just gonna photoshop JoePa’s head onto a naked mole rat.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Feb 26, 2010 10:21 AM CST up reply actions
You have an autographed photo from Wojciech Jaruzelski? You have hidden and unfathomable depth, sir.
"Best Wishes. Death to the Usurpers"
Dig that outfit. He went to all that trouble to look sharp, but got a hat a size and a half too small.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 26, 2010 11:09 AM CST up reply actions
No room for decadent hats behind the Iron Curtain!
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Feb 26, 2010 11:13 AM CST up reply actions
Hat not weak. Hat strong like bull!
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 26, 2010 11:19 AM CST up reply actions
HOLD IT!
Am I the first person to notice that this is the banner running above this page?!?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Now offering brides vindaloo style.
Previously this site had banners for voting on the top Indian male actor. Some ad agency is getting their wires crossed, or needs to tweak their analytics.
by HawkeyeRecon on Feb 26, 2010 9:33 AM CST up reply actions
The irony for me being
that I am of Indian decent. Too bad I had to settle down 5 years before seeing that ad…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 9:35 AM CST up reply actions
We're huge in India
It’s the new Korea. Just imagine the Girls’ Generation song as a Bollywood music video.
Is the wine called Donello?
Gee coach, how’d you ever come up with that name? (And yes, I think it’s completely awesome.)
I always thought Dr. Tom looked like a poor man's Captian Kangaroo
So I guess Nelly looks like a poor man’s Dr. Tom.
Which sounds better
than the poor man’s Dick Bennett currently coaching the team.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 26, 2010 9:52 AM CST up reply actions
Nellie with Dr. Tom's hair?
I think we’re onto something.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 26, 2010 10:09 AM CST up reply actions
"I. KNOW. NUT-TING!"
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 26, 2010 10:46 AM CST up reply actions
Awesome.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Feb 26, 2010 12:02 PM CST up reply actions
Gerd von Runstedt's fat brother.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Feb 26, 2010 12:02 PM CST reply actions
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