Off Topic: DINOSAUR RACECARS
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 24, 2010 2:20 PM CST
107 comments
You keep your eyes on the road, Dinosaur racecar drivers!
Here's the deal: dinosaur racecars would be awesome. Logistically though, it would be a big hassle, because do you have any idea how huge a T-Rex dinosaur racecar would have to be? Like REALLY big. And they don't even have factories for that.
But I think that if the dinosaurs really want their own racecars, they would probably be more than happy to build their own dinosaur racecar factories and work in them. That's like the real test on whether a dinosaur gets to have his own racecar. "Okay, dinosaur, you might want your dinosaur racecar, but are you willing to work for it?" And if the dinosaur says no, forget him or her. Dinosaur racecars are only for hard-working dinosaurs.
If that's too labor-intensive, then maybe we have to scale down our expectations and teach them all dinosaur karate. That just needs a big enough place for the dinosaurs to do their dinosaur karate without like breaking trees and buildings and valuable utility poles. Godzilla and his foes tried to do dinosaur karate in Tokyo and what a mess that was. No thanks. You dinosaur guys can just stay out in the country, if you ask me.
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I think you're on to something here.
They’d have to build the cars with special steering wheels though, with extra-long steering columns because of the T-Rex arms.
MORE ZAZZ! I DEMAND MORE ZAZZ!
Also
Extra long shifters.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Feb 24, 2010 2:37 PM CST up reply actions
Good call.
MORE ZAZZ! I DEMAND MORE ZAZZ!
by Bucketochicken on Feb 24, 2010 2:49 PM CST up reply actions
Easy guys
That’s for the dinosaur engineers to figure out.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
That would take forever
Don’t you know dinosaurs still use DOS CAD programing?
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 24, 2010 2:56 PM CST up reply actions
Because DOS is extinct...
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 24, 2010 2:59 PM CST up reply actions
And dinosaurs are also extinct...
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 24, 2010 3:02 PM CST up reply actions
I got your extra long shifter right here
hmmm that doesn’t work as well in text form where you can’t see my punctuating the “right here” with a crotch grab.
Awwww
I was half expecting to see something like……..wait for it……….
THIS
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Feb 24, 2010 4:08 PM CST up reply actions
Post lives up to the title.
Although I find your desire to exile Dinosaurs away from people (into a sort of Dinosaur Ghetto, if you will) to be somewhat racist.
ON a cold and gray Chicago mornin...
…another racecar drivin dinosaur’s in the ghetto…
…in the GHETTO!
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Feb 24, 2010 3:47 PM CST up reply actions
They can't keep their eyes on the track.
They see all the fat, drunk white people inside the middle of the track. It’s like waving bacon in front of a Canadian.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Feb 24, 2010 2:26 PM CST reply actions
Isn't that part of the appeal?
That they might stop and eat a bunch of fans. That’s the way to liven up racing!
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 24, 2010 7:06 PM CST up reply actions
Certainly appealing to me
Man, if NASCAR was ever victimized by a hostile takeover or a Supersonics-like sale to a new owner with a drastically different vision, this would be a sweet way to flip the demographic. I mean, it’d be a one-trick pony, but I’d be one of the first converts and would proudly count myself as one of the New School NASCAR fans. The old-school ones having literally gone the way of the dinosaurs.
"We just forgot our pants. Nothing against the team or anything like that." -- take a guess
I think it's really important that you prefaced the thread title with "OFF TOPIC," too.
That may not have been gleaned otherwise.
MORE ZAZZ! I DEMAND MORE ZAZZ!
You forgot the missiles and machine guns on the cars.
Jesus, can’t you get anything right?
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 24, 2010 2:44 PM CST reply actions
Obligatory Dino-Riders demotivational pic is required here...
"I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er." - Adrian Clayborn
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Feb 24, 2010 2:47 PM CST reply actions
Most underrated cartoon of the late 80s/early 90s, bar none
Every time I meet someone else who actually remembers it, I get excited.
I probably watched it everyday during my pre-school years.
Needless to say, I was brain boxed.
"I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er." - Adrian Clayborn
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Feb 24, 2010 3:05 PM CST up reply actions
You had to love the 80s
for “educating” the minds of young children with cheap cartoons serving as vehicles for advertising new toy lines. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, Wheeled Warriors, Transformers, He-Man And the Masters of the Universe, M.A.S.K., Thundercats, I loved them all. And, of course, wanted ALL the toys. Saddest day of my youth was the Christmas where, despite the emphatic promises of my parents, I did NOT receive the U.S.S. Flagg aircraft carrier for G.I. Joe. Never trusted my parents again.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
That sucks
I had 3 other brothers and we amassed a nice collection of Star Wars figurines/toys. Until one year my Mom gave it away all. For free.
Wait
You had 3 brothers and your toys weren’t destroyed? I only had two and our GI Joes and He-man guys were missing arms and such. Our Luke Skywalker had his face scraped/melted off in an unfortunate, but deliberate, episode with a stationary bike
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2010 12:38 PM CST up reply actions
this is pretty funny.
i had a couple of GI Joes that met a pretty grizzly end at the hands of my younger brother and some m-80s.
I piss people off on a fairly regular basis. I cherish my right to speak my mind, whether I sound like an uneducated savage or not. I've never been accused of keeping what I think a secret, nor will I ever. Don't like it? I don't care.
I just bit the heads off.
We had an entire bin of otherwise pristine Star Wars figures who were almost all headless. Don’t get too close…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 4, 2010 7:51 PM CST up reply actions
Were you practicing to be a cannibal?
We blew up GI Joes with bottle rockets, shot at them with BB guns, melted them with fire (and the rubber bands that held them together often broke from plain old over-use)… but I don’t recall ever biting one’s head off.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Tie it to one of those DIY rocket kits. So rewarding.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 8:14 PM CST up reply actions
I've never been
an explosives/fire person…unless it’s in the context of the kitchen…which I guess brings us full circle to me biting the heads off of Star Wars figures.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 4, 2010 8:45 PM CST up reply actions
A kid next door when I was growing up
always kept Chewbacca in the freezer unless he was gnawing on Chewie. It was pretty disgusting.
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 4, 2010 9:24 PM CST up reply actions
we used to set up the model rocket motors
in front of the gi joes and whatnot and light them off, in the process, horribly melting them. it was highly rewarding
I piss people off on a fairly regular basis. I cherish my right to speak my mind, whether I sound like an uneducated savage or not. I've never been accused of keeping what I think a secret, nor will I ever. Don't like it? I don't care.
by IABerserker1 on Mar 4, 2010 10:57 PM CST up reply actions
I bit my Wookie!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 5, 2010 6:40 AM CST up reply actions
Dinosaurs + lasers = UNSTOPPABLY AWESOME
It was on at weird times when I was growing up, though, which sucked. I wound up watching a lot more DENVER, THE LAST DINOSAUR… which was a vastly inferior dinosaur ’toon.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
There was a kids cartoon segment called Dino Power Hour back in the day.
My memory is failing me as to which Eastern Iowa channel it aired on, but it was the highlight of days back then. I remember Denver being on there, as well as…. HOLY SHIT DINOSAUCERS.
"I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er." - Adrian Clayborn
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Feb 24, 2010 3:18 PM CST up reply actions
Pic fail.
"I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er." - Adrian Clayborn
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Feb 24, 2010 3:19 PM CST up reply actions
Dinosaurs separated by color palette.
::shakes head::
by HawkeyeRecon on Feb 26, 2010 3:00 PM CST up reply actions
I had this set of four puzzles
That included that picture and three others, and they all linked together creating one massive puzzle. that was awesome.
I have not celebrated a pro championship in my life.
Drugs are bad, mmkay...
Do we really want T Rex’s to know karate? Seems like an idea that will end up biting us in the butt.
More like crane kicking us in the head, really.
I mean, you can’t bite dudes in karate, silly.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I think the t-rex bite
would be kind of like the “sweep the leg, johnny” of dino karate.
Brunettes not fighter jets
Many ideas all at once...
….1) if T-Rex learns karate I’m protecting myself by getting dinosaurs addicted to heroin
2) I’m keeping cocaine and meth AWAY from karate T-Rex
3) this will allow us to create an after-school special that replaces steroid Affleck with steroid T-Rex, which should be fun to watch
Back to regularly scheduled programming (i.e. work) for me.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Feb 24, 2010 3:54 PM CST up reply actions
Karate T-Rex
would be a fairly predictable in a fight; how’s he going to chop you with those little arms? Just watch the leg sweep and “a winner is you.”
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 27, 2010 10:03 AM CST up reply actions
I'm all for this
and putting my money on the Velocityraptor
by SoCratesJohnson on Feb 24, 2010 3:20 PM CST reply actions
We really need to teach Big Ten teams how to drive cars?
http://www.instantrimshot.com/
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
How about a death race between
T-Rex dinosaur racecar and Hockey bear racecar. We already know Hockey bear is a crack fighter pilot, so it is not hard to imagine that he would dominate NASCAR.
Ankles! We don't need no stinking ankles!
by three and out the kok story on Feb 24, 2010 4:20 PM CST reply actions
This is all I can say to this comment, and this entire thread:
Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart
Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse
by MissouriHawk on Feb 25, 2010 7:45 AM CST up reply actions
Screw racing
What about teaching velociraptors the great game of football and training them to play rush end?
I mean, if “Jurassic Park,” is any indication, they don’t have the flexibility and stop-and-go speed to play linebacker.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 24, 2010 5:13 PM CST reply actions
Ah yes, the circle of life
Jesus creates dinosaurs
Jesus drives dinosaurs
Dinosaurs create nascars……dinosaurs drive nascars
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Feb 24, 2010 6:37 PM CST reply actions
Why does ...
Dino-Sash need a ninja sai? That’s just crazy.
Also, the horse is probably a deputy with Johnson County law enforcement. Dino-Sash is riding him because Hawks don’t need to follow the law. Just ask an ISU fan.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 24, 2010 10:56 PM CST up reply actions
I think I will answer your question with an equally obvious question of my own:
Why wouldn’t Dino-Sash need a ninja sai? Could you imagine Dino-Ninja-Tyler-Mother-Fucking-Jimmer-Jamming-Sash roaming the secondary? They would give him Pinball Pick 6’s just on principal every game.
by shada's revenge on Feb 25, 2010 5:32 PM CST up reply actions
Wouldn't ...
He pop the ball with the sai?
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 25, 2010 6:24 PM CST up reply actions
More like
skewer it and dare the other team to take it from him… before biting their arms off and disappearing under a cloud of smoke.
by shada's revenge on Feb 26, 2010 5:12 PM CST up reply actions
Then just pretend it's glued to it or something.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 24, 2010 11:23 PM CST up reply actions
My favorite photoshop on BHGP
bravo
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Feb 24, 2010 10:44 PM CST up reply actions
I will see your sai-wielding horse-riding raptor Sash
And raise you a T-Rex DJK with a grenade launcher riding a fire-breathing black stallion
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Feb 25, 2010 1:02 AM CST up reply actions 8 recs
Wow
I am speechless looking at this. Awesome.
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Feb 25, 2010 11:15 AM CST up reply actions
Red x :(
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 25, 2010 6:37 PM CST up reply actions
Back now.
Imageshack’s usually reliable.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Feb 26, 2010 3:02 PM CST up reply actions
Two questions.
1.) What kind of drugs are you people on?
2.) Can I have some?
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride." HST
Off topic: Ricky Stanzi is throwing Ed Hightower:
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 25, 2010 9:31 AM CST reply actions 2 recs
How dare you
Ricky Stanzi is a beautiful man, and I will not have him associated with either moles or rats, much less an unholy combination of the two.
On the other hand Ed HIghtower’s head should absolutely be removed and used in various games.
WOULD SOMEONE BAN THIS ASSHOLE ALREADY
MODS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 25, 2010 11:34 AM CST up reply actions
Yeah get him out of here
He’s making me look bad
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Feb 25, 2010 11:44 AM CST up reply actions
It's like a baked potato with teeth, eyes, and hair.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 25, 2010 12:06 PM CST up reply actions
Better Watch out Rambler
Stanzi may unleash Clayborn and Lehman on your ass for this Photoshop. That’s like putting a Goddamned Canadian flag on Rick.
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Feb 25, 2010 1:06 PM CST up reply actions
Open up and say "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Feb 25, 2010 2:49 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
There is everything wrong with that.
But it feels sooooo right.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Feb 25, 2010 3:18 PM CST up reply actions
He should be holding two of them in his clinched hands HFMR...
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Feb 25, 2010 3:27 PM CST up reply actions
I definitely considered that
stand by
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Feb 25, 2010 6:36 PM CST up reply actions
I bet your mom considered it!
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 25, 2010 6:38 PM CST up reply actions
You're the one whose mom...considered.....
fuck
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Feb 25, 2010 7:51 PM CST up reply actions
OHHOLYFUCK LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/slow clap
//wiping tears out of eyes
by shada's revenge on Feb 25, 2010 5:34 PM CST up reply actions
Another red x
What image host you using, HFMR?
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 25, 2010 6:39 PM CST up reply actions
really?
I can see it. And my work firewall usually eat hosting sites
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 25, 2010 6:44 PM CST up reply actions
WTF, I'm getting red X's now too.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Feb 25, 2010 7:49 PM CST up reply actions
I've always laughed at how the other blogs call BHGP crazy
but this thread made me kind of see what they’re talking about…. Love it
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
Fear our army...
of well-armed, dino football players on horseback! Submit or be wiped from the face of the earth!
Except for you, Hockeybear. We have no quarrel with you.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 25, 2010 11:43 AM CST reply actions
What about VaginaBear? She's not quarrel-worthy or threatening, just sad.
MORE ZAZZ! I DEMAND MORE ZAZZ!
by Bucketochicken on Feb 25, 2010 11:51 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I was just thinking...
that we could have a T-Rex with all the usual voracious dino goodness and low-post skills, and Lick would still have him riding the pine.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Feb 25, 2010 1:04 PM CST up reply actions
YES
Because his short arms would lead to blocked shoots.
by BuckeyFucker on Feb 25, 2010 1:12 PM CST up reply actions
Drugosaurs
I don’t know if any of you got a chance to read about the drugosaurs but they used to hand out the little comic book about them.
fyi
http://www.communityhealthmedia.com/media/catalog/product/cache/3/image/5e06319eda06f020e43594a9c230972d/p/b/pbda113postpk.jpg
The Boozitupicus i think is the favorite among the college students
by BuckeyFucker on Feb 25, 2010 1:06 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Wait
the were supposed to be a deterrent?!? Where can I get my PCPterodactyl?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 27, 2010 10:10 AM CST up reply actions
Off topic: Kirk Ferentz and Bald John Travolta shake hands while Drew Tate yells at someone.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 25, 2010 3:57 PM CST up reply actions
God Travolta has a HUGE head.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Feb 25, 2010 4:08 PM CST up reply actions
Behold the glory of MS paint
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 25, 2010 5:33 PM CST up reply actions
This may be the
most surreal post and threa on BHGP. Ever. Which is really saying something.
And OPS, I really hope that your company doesn’t do any surprise drug tests this week.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Pfft.
LIKE YOU’VE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT DINOSAURS DRIVING RACECARS. C’mon.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Please let me keep
my masturbatory fantasis private. Thankyouverymuch.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I would hate to know how much weed was smoked before this was posted.
Dinosaurs driving NASCARS? That would be a come true. It would have Dale Earnhardt turning in his grave.
Do dyno NASCAR babes look hot in tight t-shirts?
If you feel like singing along, don't.
James Taylor
How many days until kickoff?
Or at least until the snow melts? Y’all are getting a wee bit frisky.
My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com
I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty pissed the original Tyler Sash Ninja Saurus hasn't gotten a rec yet
It’s the original, fellas.
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