In many ways, hockey in Canada is like basketball in Iowa. It's associated with frigid temperatures, it's enjoyed by white people exclusively, and everyone gets excited on the rare occasion that somebody actually shoots and scores--if we're lucky, four times in one game.

Time for a crucial game between the Wolverines and the Hawkeyes. Scoff if you must--lord knows we did--but there's some small postseason implications at play. Iowa and Indiana are tied at three wins in the conference, and the first to four likely sews up the 8 or 9 seed--that would probably be Michigan if Iowa beats them here. The 7 is probably Northwestern or Minnesota, and... actually, you know what? Nobody's going to give a shit after none of the bottom six teams make it to the semifinals. But let's play this thing anyway.

No slurs, no porno, no links to watching online, and fuck Michigan. Big Ten Network. Let's do this.