If you thought KISS without make-up was terrifying...
I'm, um, proud (?!?) to announce that Black Shoe Diaries doesn't even have this hard-hitting story yet; apparently Joe Paterno was thumbing through a copy of Reader's Digest while waiting to see his proctologist and read about some Soviet/Oriental/Martian technology that can make you see as clear as the day you squirted out of your mammismo's vongole. Long story short, JoePa doesn't need his glasses anymore. Never fear, though, for the venerable dean of Big Ten coaches has no plans to lose the glasses as he "felt weird" without them, in the way you might "feel weird" without your mandible attached. Pictures/artists renditions about what the new and improved Joe Paterno may look like are welcomed.
Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.
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That's a big turtle.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Looks like what happens 18 hours after I eat Papa Murphy's.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 15, 2010 11:24 AM CST up reply actions
Eyes and everything?
MORE ZAZZ! I DEMAND MORE ZAZZ!
by Bucketochicken on Feb 15, 2010 2:40 PM CST up reply actions
Oh god I'm wiping diet coke off of my laptop screen.
My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com
by Leftcoast Hawk on Feb 15, 2010 9:41 PM CST up reply actions
Do you also
“have to keep your feet on the ground?”, or do they naturally stick straight out from the strain?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 16, 2010 4:37 AM CST up reply actions
Gradulations...
I’m, um, proud (?!?) to announce that Black Shoe Diaries doesn’t even have this hard-hitting story yet
You’re now one of 65% of BSD posters who don’t bother to read the fanshots.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
I was just going to say that I read this over at BSD on Thursday.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Feb 15, 2010 9:40 AM CST up reply actions
D'oh!
I checked posts, fanposts, but not fanshots! My apologies to the BSD poster that took the time to write 12 words only to have me miss them…
By the way, JoePa will look like this, count on it.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 15, 2010 11:34 AM CST up reply actions
Not your fault
It’s subpar website design. Way too many people screw this up for this not to be on the web/UI designer.
Please, someone photoshop that thing with some old style....
…..JoePa spectacles on it. Bonus points if you add a hat!
"If you want to become a man--come to Iowa" All American IOWA LB PAT ANGERER, whose best friend is a dog.
by The Director on Feb 15, 2010 11:39 AM CST up reply actions
I'm not sure what's better:
JoePa’s head superimposed on that vermin, or the photoshopping job that gave him a pompadour-mohawk.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 15, 2010 1:47 PM CST up reply actions
It's like Taxi Driver.
ARE YOU ADDRESSING ME
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 16, 2010 10:27 AM CST up reply actions
It does not appear that there are others present
so you quite simply must be addressing me.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 16, 2010 9:43 PM CST up reply actions
Glorious.
MORE ZAZZ! I DEMAND MORE ZAZZ!
by Bucketochicken on Feb 15, 2010 2:40 PM CST up reply actions
You just won an internet.
"I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er." - Adrian Clayborn
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Feb 15, 2010 5:30 PM CST up reply actions
Jesus, all I wanted was the glasses and maybe a hat...
…..THAT thing looks like that scene from the Philip Kaufmann version of BODY SNATCHERS, with that dog with the old man’s head.
I’m gonna have NIGHTMARES about that thing squeaking “Come to PENN SHTATE!” tonight.
Thanks for another sleepless night, dude!
"If you want to become a man--come to Iowa" All American IOWA LB PAT ANGERER, whose best friend is a dog.
by The Director on Feb 15, 2010 5:33 PM CST up reply actions
I felt that picture was missing something
Microsoft Paint knew how to fix it.

I do have more rhymes than Jamaica got mangos.
by LuebkeSwims! on Feb 15, 2010 7:10 PM CST up reply actions
Sheeesh, Rosie
Didn’t know you had photoshop skillz.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 16, 2010 3:52 PM CST up reply actions
Wanna say you're being sarcastic
photoshop was rocky’s
mine was www.blingee.com
by Mr. Rosewater on Feb 16, 2010 4:52 PM CST up reply actions
Ooooh, thanks for the link
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 16, 2010 5:42 PM CST up reply actions
wait, what did you say to me?
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME!!???
Oh, Rambler…hi. Didn’t recognize you during this LONG off season.
by Mr. Rosewater on Feb 16, 2010 9:10 PM CST up reply actions
run “your mom”.exe
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 16, 2010 11:09 PM CST up reply actions
I'm on a mac you windows pansy
install yourmom.dmg
by Mr. Rosewater on Feb 17, 2010 12:27 AM CST up reply actions
A MAC guy calling me a pansy?
That’s hillarious.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 17, 2010 8:44 AM CST up reply actions
i know
so what does that say about you?
by Mr. Rosewater on Feb 17, 2010 6:04 PM CST up reply actions
I like to eat puppies
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 17, 2010 8:32 PM CST up reply actions
Naked Joe Rat

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Feb 15, 2010 9:11 PM CST reply actions
Make Morelli one.
Please.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 15, 2010 11:02 PM CST up reply actions
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 16, 2010 10:28 AM CST up reply actions
If JoePa doesn't need the weirding module either
We are REALLY screwed.
My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com
by Leftcoast Hawk on Feb 15, 2010 10:09 PM CST reply actions
no wonder he wore glasses
he’s hideous!!
by Mr. Rosewater on Feb 16, 2010 2:29 PM CST up reply actions

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