Great Moments in 2000's Iowa Football, No. 3 -- Brian Kinchen Drops the Balls
by Patrick Vint on Feb 11, 2010 12:15 PM CST
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PrintWith the 2009 season complete, BHGP looks back at the ten most sublimely absurd moments of the past decade for this sublimely absurd team, counting them down over the next two weeks the indefinite future.
The list so far:
10. Parking Gate-Gate
9. A Fair to Remember
8. "Two Words: Iowa Hawkeye Pride"
7. Shawn Prater Gets Roofied
6. Beutjer Becomes Someone Else's Future
5. Calloway and the Moped
4. The Rise and Fall of CBI
On October 28, 2006, Iowa welcomed Northern Illinois to Legendary Historic Kinnick Stadium for its annual oddly-timed October non-conference game. The respite could not have come a moment too soon for the Hawkeyes; they had dropped three of their last four games and exited the top 25, and starting quarterback Drew Tate was nursing an injury. Of course, being an 11:00 kickoff involving a non-top 25 team and a non-BCS cupcake, it was relegated to ESPNU.
Iowa jumped out to a 7-0 lead early, and a Northern Illinois drive stalled when a pass hit wideout Marcus Perez in the shoulder and dropped harmlessly to the turf. Enter ESPNU color commentator Brian Kinchen:
That silence you hear at the end is the sound of resumes updating.
I stayed home from this game, and was cooking breakfast when this happened. I stared at the screen in shock as my hash browns damn near set my apartment on fire. So congrats, Brian Kinchen: You almost burned down an apartment complex. Flamer.
Despite issuing the requisite apology, Kinchen was suspended indefinitely. In 2007, he told the Baltimore Sun the "kinda gay" incident was, "a signal that [broadcasting] was not something I should be doing on weekends while I've got four kids growing up. So I shut it all down to be a father."
Truer words have never been spoken.
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You almost set your apartment on fire!?!
Is that a “flaming” reference? Homophobe…sweet, supple, strong-armed, blogs-with-Wilde-esque-flair homophobe.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Please, please
Tell me you have the audio of Dolph doing the 05 Montana game.
And please tell me that’s number 1
by Internet Legend on Feb 11, 2010 12:20 PM CST reply actions
That was in '06, technically
And I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is he gushing over the remodeled stadium or something?
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 11, 2010 12:50 PM CST up reply actions
Not gonna lie: Don't have a clue what you're talking about.
But I’m intrigued.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Patrick Vint on Feb 11, 2010 1:02 PM CST up reply actions
I'm so happy to introduce you to this
Montana is punting, It’s mid-2nd quarter if I remember right.
I’ll begin the play by play to the best of my recollection:
“…Montana back to punt here comes the snap…
he gets it under control…
and jack’s off a beauty…
by Internet Legend on Feb 11, 2010 3:58 PM CST up reply actions
perhaps I oversold it.
But I thought it was absolutely hilarious when I heard it.
by Internet Legend on Feb 11, 2010 4:02 PM CST up reply actions
Had the return man
had the slick ball squirt through his fingers and hit him in the face, then you’d be talking.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 12, 2010 9:42 AM CST up reply actions
This game is also notable for tricking people into thinking Jake Christensen might be good
In hindsight, the Minnesota game where he came in, threw a pick on his first pass, and was immediately pulled again probably should have been a warning.
+1
This was actually a popular sentiment back in ’06.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Turned him on? Or...
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 11, 2010 12:50 PM CST up reply actions
What kills me
is the fact that there are still 31 people who are members of this group.
Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart
Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse
by MissouriHawk on Feb 11, 2010 1:35 PM CST up reply actions
He kinda earned it
When you get down to it, he lead the Hawks to a 13-12 record in 05 & 06, including 2 bowl losses and a 2-6 Big XI record in 06.
Big passing numbers are great, but W’s are all that counts.
In 100 years, we'll all be dead.
Quarterbacks...
get way too much credit for TEAM success and way too much blame for TEAM failure. I know it’s cliche to say, but, well, there it is.
by TEXaco on Feb 11, 2010 2:05 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Seriously, judging players by the team's record is so dumb
He was great in 2005. Better than he was the year before when the team had a better record. He was doing his part,so I don’t see how you blame him for the team’s lack of success. He’s not even on the field for half the fucking game.
As for 2006, he did not play especially well, but he was also obviously hurt (and throwing to Herb Goddamned Grigsby). Ideally he would have been sitting out, but the team had no other options, and he’s super competitive, so he was out there trying to gut it out week after week (and, yeah, maybe getting a little too frustrated when things didn’t work out).
None of the problems Iowa went through over that period were really his fault, but somehow he’s wound up getting the bulk of the blame from a lot of fans, just because he was the QB and the most well known player. It’s ridiculous. He’s one of the best QBs the school’s ever had, and only a few people seem to be able to appreciate that.
I can't explain it either...
…but I think part of it had to do with his on field/screen antics. Yelling at teammates isn’t exactly the “Iowa” that a lot of fans identify with (many would have rather seen a humble guy than a fire cracker, though I appreciated the “field general” mentality he seemed to bring to the table).
Also, the intertubes were really starting to take off as a source of football related information, and a lot of people made the mistake of listening to posters on stupid boards (i.e. the ones that are the opposite of this site… you know which ones). Suddenly everyone in C.R. and C. Falls and Metropolitan Des Moines (and all points in between) think they know exactly what is going on in Iowa Fuckin City. It was pathetic. The hype machine had everyone interested, and out of nowhere people in Marion are telling me the gossip of IC like they’re undeclared sophomores (i.e. “I know a guy, who knows this guy, who lives across the hall from a girl who hooked up with Drew Tate… therefore I know something.”), when in actuality, they’ve never even been south of I-80. His reputation took a bit of a hit because people thought his whole team hated him (so it’s okay for everyone else to hate him too), but that’s what happens when people repeat chat room gossip.
BHGP, where were you in those dark days? We needed you to be a beacon of knowledge and insane sanity back then (the way you are today). Regrets? I’ve had a few. But I did it my way at least I didn’t repeat any bogus Tate Hate.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Feb 11, 2010 2:58 PM CST up reply actions
I soured on Drew after a time for a couple of reasons:
One was after his helmet-throw in the OSU game. That was pretty damn immature and should’ve drawn a PF instead of delay of game penalty. Still, I pretty much liked him for the rest of that season.
Then, in 2006, he was hurt and started to act—well, act like an asshole on the field. You can lead without yelling at teammates. I didn’t think he acted like a leader that season.
At the time, all we knew about JC was that he had looked pretty good in the NIU game (better than Manson, that’s for sure) and that the guy on the field (meaning DT) was playing hurt and acting like a jerk much of the time. No surprise, then, that many (including me sometimes) wished JC was seeing more playing time.
In retrospect, I’ve softened by stance on Drew for two reasons:
One, is that it became clear that he WAS a very good QB who was being played hurt before he should’ve. Hurt he was a decent QB, not hurt he was a great QB. I’m sure his was frustrated as shit and that’s why his patience was at an ebb that season. In retrospect, I blame the coaches for not letting him heal before sticking him back out there.
Two, is that JC ultimately showed himself to be an average to below avg QB for a B10 team. The NIU game was an anomaly, as his games against NW also were. He simply wasn’t as good as some of us thought. But again, at the time he’d looked quite good against NIU, so who knew?
Simply put, Drew’s personality was not one that tolerated playing hurt or playing with lazy/incompetent teammates, and I think the coaches should’ve taken that into account.
"If you want to become a man--come to Iowa" All American IOWA LB PAT ANGERER, whose best friend is a dog.
by The Director on Feb 11, 2010 4:02 PM CST up reply actions
you know which ones
All of them?
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 11, 2010 5:19 PM CST up reply actions
No, screw that.
Daryll Clark is a choker who never won a big game.
Oh, you weren’t talking about Penn State fans, nevermind.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 11, 2010 2:23 PM CST up reply actions
I don't blame Kinchen...
I blame his color guy for setting him up.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 11, 2010 12:48 PM CST reply actions
His dad's name is Gaynell.
Thanks, irony. And Wikipedia.
The best part of the clip
is the three seconds of uncomfortable silence before the play-by-play guy picks it up again.
AC and Ed
I can only hope that AC’s panty throwing harasser makes the top three, or a close 11th. same for Eddie’s incriminating photos resulting in a fire then rehire offseason. Ed Podalak has a knack for binge drinking?? you don’t say..
by KentuckyThunderPussy on Feb 11, 2010 2:52 PM CST reply actions
On the subject
(1) AC’s harasser (who I’m hearing was less concerned with throwing underwear than she was with breaking kneecaps, FWIW) is an honorable mention and, in retrospect, probably should have been ninth or tenth.
(2) Podolak remains a sore subject. He was a grown man who wasn’t arrested or given a citation for doing anything illegal; he had the misfortune of having a couple of cocktails and do something dumb (but not John Edwards dumb) in front of a camera. The response by Gary Barta, who I personally witnessed laughing at a joke about Eddie’s drinking problems during the Johnson County I-Club golf outing and banquet four months earlier) was reprehensible.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Patrick Vint on Feb 11, 2010 3:49 PM CST up reply actions
Although, it must be said that one reaps what one sows.
Eddie, as is well known, was continually having a couple of cocktails and acting like a doofus. So I view it as inevitable that his shenanigans got him into trouble.
On the other hand—which you point out—if you’re Barta you act BEFORE the man gets into public trouble, not just after. It was no secret that Eddie probably had a drinking problem—funny how the powers-that-be only seem to care once it affects THEM.
That’s my main problem with how it played out.
"If you want to become a man--come to Iowa" All American IOWA LB PAT ANGERER, whose best friend is a dog.
by The Director on Feb 11, 2010 4:07 PM CST up reply actions
I was too, uh, festive... during this game ro recall hearing this...
but good lord is it funny. It’s Jerry Lewis funny. On-air awkward silences are my ambrosia.
Life - it's bigger...bigger than you and you are not me.
Oh do I remember this
I was sitting in a sports bar in Mesa, AZ at the time. This very comment had recently been said by my then-thirteen year old son about something, and I had just admonished him about it. However, I did think his use of the word was spot-on for what he was describing. (sorry to all I have offended for thought crime, past, present , future)
So we are all in the bar and I’m listening to the color guy really start going off the deep end with his description. As God is my witness, I recalled this “new” phrase my son had said as he was talking—and then it came out. Kind of the way you see an accident happening in front of you, in slow motion, somehow knowing that this will not turn out well. Is he—-is he gonna say—-no, he wouldn’t —-OH YES HE IS! Everyone in the bar, in unison, responded loudly, OOOOOHHHHHH! The sound you make while watching someone get hit in the groin, or watching replays of Theismann’s leg breaking on MNF. Then came the individual acknowledgements by people throughout the bar, “He’s done”, “Adios”, “We won’t see him next week.” In what was a wierd game anyway, and perhaps the last passes we ever saw JC6 throw with loft, it was both hilarious and sad, because we all knew this guy just lost his job. Thanks for the memory.
Is the entire background of the site always a KY advert, or only for the "gay" post?
Just wondering.
It's infested all of the SBN sites.
It’s like that one ad from a couple of months ago that had a shirtless Kevin Bacon lookalike being scratched by a random chick.
"...there'll be some woman, maybe 45 or 50, she'll come up and give me a hug, and I'll give my wife a wink: See? I'm not that old." - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Feb 11, 2010 10:52 PM CST up reply actions
No, it's great
my roll bar scrolls down the the page much more smoothly with K-Y lubricating the margins.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 11, 2010 11:14 PM CST up reply actions
Well done
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 11, 2010 11:15 PM CST up reply actions
SBN probably guaranteed KY a certain number of banner impressions before Valentine's day
With only 2 days left they are furiously squeezing the end of the tube.
by HawkeyeRecon on Feb 12, 2010 8:51 AM CST up reply actions
It's great
This is the only Iowa home game since 1996 that I wasn’t at and was able to watch on TV.
My jaw hit the floor when the commentator guy said that. I thought for a second that I had really been missing out on something crazy going to the games, but quickly realized that no, this wasn’t normal, when the uncomfortable stunned silence set in and the play by play guy just moved on.
Brunettes not fighter jets
What's even weirder
is that the commentary team had no comment when the camera later caught Ken O’Keefe giving Norm Parker a reach-around on the sidelines. Come to think of it, that could just be one of KOK’s duties.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Feb 12, 2010 8:17 AM CST up reply actions
I remember this
and the minute he said that I honestly thought, “better find a new job dude.” 2 days or so later he gets canned. I felt proud of myself for calling that.
by Pain in the Sash on Feb 12, 2010 7:31 PM CST reply actions
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