Sung to the tune of American Pie
Go ahead and open another window to listen to it while reading. Spoil Yourself. You deserve it.
On a side note: If this strikes you as a disorganized, confused pile of fuck, then I represented this season far better than I could have imagined.
Lyrics after the Jump.
A long, long, time ago, I can still remember when I hoped for a national championship.
And I knew if there was some hell
And one of the games didn't go so well
Then maybe they'd be on a Rose Bowl Trip.
But Arizona made dreams dead
With Special Teams that crapped the bed
It was some horrendous shit
I just couldn't comprehend it
I can't remember how much I drank
To try and remove the terrible stank
For god's sake an Extra Point was shanked
The day the Season died
So bye-bye Champ-ion-ship game
I Forgot my lucky shirt, I guess I will take the blame
It was a bad break but it is just one game
This season will work out, all the same
This season will work out, all the same
Did you see Clayborne sucking wind?
And did the Defense give up points late again?
If you saw the game vs. Wisky.
And do you believe they didn't see the Tricksy?
Fourth & Long, going for a Kicksy
Oh Christ, can you just pour me a Whiskeyyyyyyy?
Well I KNOW what I'll see at the end of the game
'Cause it keeps on happening just the same
I can't believe this shit
For fuck's sake, would you just spike iiiitttt!!!!!!
I was a cocky Hawkeye, not worth a buck
With a Tigerhawk, on my pickup truck
But I just didn't give a fuck
The Day the Season died.
I started singin'
Bye-Bye The Rose Bowl game
Time Management it wasn't shit, it was a fucking shame
Fuck the lucky shirt, Ferentz take the blame
Singing 'It was only one Big Ten game.'
'It was only one Big Ten game.'
Now for 5 years I've been ready to shoot
The next asshole in an Armani suit
but that's not how this year, will be
When the Hawks took the field at Kinnick E.
With a cheering group from BHGP
Who have expected the horrors we would seeeeeeee?
Oh, and while the crowd was looking down
Fitzgerald made the Hawkeyes frown
QB runs, and a short toss
ANOTHER gut-wrenching loss
And while I cursed and read the riot act
The Stanzi took another sack
And the Hawks took another step back
The Day the Season died.
We were singing
For fuck's sake make an ad-just-ment
Rinky-Dinky passes, kick our asses, and keep us eating the shit
Fitzgerald started to LOL
Another season he stole
Well, maybe a New Year's Day Bowl
Maybe a New Year's Day Bowl
Helter Skelter, next is the Sweater
Beating OSU would make things better
Ranked #8, and this season's last hooope
I felt like a goddamn dope
The players had another 4th quarter choke
With the Jim Beam, in a tall glass, to help me cooope
Now the fourth quarter play was a stinking turd
You woulda thought that I had learned
But I really thought they'd win
Oh, I can't believe it happened again
'Cause this season's been terribly tough
And I need some stronger drinkin' stuff
Do you believe you'd had enough?
The Day the Season died.
We started singing
Bye-bye, New Year's day bowl
Holy fuck, shitty luck, this whole year sucks pole
At least we still have the Gophers to Troll
Losing to them would be im-possi-bol
Losing to them would be im-possi-bol
Oh, and Kinnick North was all black and gold
Seeing that never does gets old
All your goalposts are so sweet
So, come on Hawkeyes, 55 to 0 again!
Remind me what this season should have been!
Cause 'fired' was the Brewster's final tweeeeet.
Oh, And as I watched them flip and flop
I just about flipped my top
No Hippy at the Ped Mall
Could stop this epic Fall
And, as the season swirled low around the drain
I couldn't wrap it around my brain
I used Four Loko to deaden the pain
The day the Season died.
We were singing
Bye-Bye, former dig-nit-y
Goin drinkin, stop my thinkin', gonna get all shitty
Don't give a fuck, not even a little bitty
Singing, This season can kiss my ass
I'm going out to get trashed
I met a girl with rage like 'roids
and I asked her about the bronze pig Floyd
But she just cursed, and flipped me off
I uploaded B-H-G-P
Hoping the answers would be made clear to me
But they said; They were drunker than Hasselhooooof
And in Kirk's office, DJK was benched
The same coordinators, and the philosophies entrenched
Ken watching Sesame Street
This season should have been so sweeeeeet.
And the three men responsible the most
Gum chewer, Doll player, and the man with no toes
They all decided our expectations blows
The Day the Season died.
And they were singin
Bye, Bye the year of Twenty-Ten
We see no reason to change the season, you will see this again
O'Keefe's drawing up plays with all his He-Men
Sayin', run Skelator around the end
That's a play they'll never defend.
We were singin
Bye, Bye, this year of horr-ors
The drinkin', gots me thinkin' Replace the Cor-din-ators
Another season like this, change the names on all the coach doors
And hand me a Loko Foooooooouuuuuuurs
Seriously, just give me the fucking drink.