FanPost

2010 Season, In Song.

Sung to the tune of American Pie

Go ahead and open another window to listen to it while reading. Spoil Yourself. You deserve it.

On a side note:  If this strikes you as a disorganized, confused pile of fuck, then I represented this season far better than I could have imagined.

Lyrics after the Jump.

A long, long, time ago, I can still remember when I hoped for a national championship.

And I knew if there was some hell

And one of the games didn't go so well

Then maybe they'd be on a Rose Bowl Trip.

 

But Arizona made dreams dead

With Special Teams that crapped the bed

It was some horrendous shit

I just couldn't comprehend it

 

I can't remember how much I drank

To try and remove the terrible stank

For god's sake an Extra Point was shanked

The day the Season died

 

         So bye-bye Champ-ion-ship game

         I Forgot my lucky shirt, I guess I will take the blame

         It was a bad break but it is just one game

         This season will work out, all the same

         This season will work out, all the same

 

Did you see Clayborne sucking wind?

And did the Defense give up points late again?

If you saw the game vs. Wisky.

And do you believe they didn't see the Tricksy?

Fourth & Long, going for a Kicksy

Oh Christ, can you just pour me a Whiskeyyyyyyy?

 

Well I KNOW what I'll see at the end of the game

'Cause it keeps on happening just the same

I can't believe this shit

For fuck's sake, would you just spike iiiitttt!!!!!!

 

I was a cocky Hawkeye, not worth a buck

With a Tigerhawk, on my pickup truck

But I just didn't give a fuck

The Day the Season died.

 

 I started singin'

      Bye-Bye The Rose Bowl game

      Time Management it wasn't shit, it was a fucking shame

       Fuck the lucky shirt, Ferentz take the blame

      Singing 'It was only one Big Ten game.'

       'It was only one Big Ten game.'

 

Now for 5 years I've been ready to shoot

The next asshole in an Armani suit

but that's not how this year, will be

When the Hawks took the field at Kinnick E.

With a cheering group from BHGP

Who have expected the horrors we would seeeeeeee?

 

Oh, and while the crowd was looking down

Fitzgerald made the Hawkeyes frown

QB runs, and a short toss

ANOTHER gut-wrenching loss

 

And while I cursed and read the riot act

The Stanzi took another sack

And the Hawks took another step back

The Day the Season died.

 

  We were singing

             For fuck's sake make an ad-just-ment

             Rinky-Dinky passes, kick our asses, and keep us eating the shit

             Fitzgerald started to LOL

             Another season he stole

             Well, maybe a New Year's Day Bowl

              Maybe a New Year's Day Bowl

 

Helter Skelter, next is the Sweater

Beating OSU would make things better

Ranked #8, and this season's last hooope

I felt like a goddamn dope

The players had another 4th quarter choke

With the Jim Beam, in a tall glass, to help me cooope

 

Now the fourth quarter play was a stinking turd

You woulda thought that I had learned

But I really thought they'd win

Oh, I can't believe it happened again

 

'Cause this season's been terribly tough

And I need some stronger drinkin' stuff

Do you believe you'd had enough?

The Day the Season died.

 

We started singing

       Bye-bye, New Year's day bowl

       Holy fuck, shitty luck, this whole year sucks pole

        At least we still have the Gophers to Troll

        Losing to them would be im-possi-bol

        Losing to them would be im-possi-bol

 

 

Oh, and Kinnick North was all black and gold

Seeing that never does gets old

All your goalposts are so sweet

So, come on Hawkeyes, 55 to 0 again!

Remind me what this season should have been!

Cause 'fired' was the Brewster's final tweeeeet.

 

Oh, And as I watched them flip and flop

I just about flipped my top

No Hippy at the Ped Mall

Could stop this epic Fall

 

 

And, as the season swirled low around the drain

I couldn't wrap it around my brain

I used Four Loko to deaden the pain

The day the Season died.

 

We were singing

        Bye-Bye, former dig-nit-y

        Goin drinkin, stop my thinkin', gonna get all shitty

         Don't give a fuck, not even a little bitty

        Singing, This season can kiss my ass

         I'm going out to get trashed

 

I met a girl with rage like 'roids

and I asked her about the bronze pig Floyd

But she just cursed, and flipped me off

I uploaded B-H-G-P

Hoping the answers would be made clear to me

But they said; They were drunker than Hasselhooooof

 

And in Kirk's office, DJK was benched

The same coordinators, and the philosophies entrenched

Ken watching Sesame Street

This season should have been so sweeeeeet.

 

And the three men responsible the most

Gum chewer, Doll player, and the man with no toes

They all decided our expectations blows

The Day the Season died.

 

And they were singin

         Bye, Bye the year of Twenty-Ten

         We see no reason to change the season, you will see this again

         O'Keefe's drawing up plays with all his He-Men 

         Sayin', run Skelator around the end

        That's a play they'll never defend.

 

We were singin

        Bye, Bye, this year of horr-ors

        The drinkin', gots me thinkin' Replace the Cor-din-ators

        Another season like this, change the names on all the coach doors

        And hand me a Loko Foooooooouuuuuuurs

 

 

Seriously, just give me the fucking drink.

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