Who Dat? A Beginner's Guide To What's Left Of The Iowa Running Game
With the news that AIRBHG is wreaking havoc on not just ligaments, brains, and decision-making processes but also fucking hearts (get well soon, Cambus), it's probably time to take a look at what options Iowa actually has at running back for the Insight Bowl tomorrow night.
The Starter -- Marcus Coker (FR) 2010: 81 carries, 403 yards, 1 TD
Our beloved Coked-Up Werewolf was Iowa's most decorated running back recruit since Albert Young decided to spurn Madison and take his talents to Iowa City in the fall of 2003 and for good reason: he was an unstoppable bowling ball of a runner from Maryland's celebrated Dematha High School who evoked memories of Shonn Greene punishing foolish defensive backs. Even so, it's entirely possible that he wouldn't have played a snap if Robinson, Hampton, and Wegher had all stayed healthy and kept their smiles and given Iowa the three-headed monster at RB we all feverishly dreamed of back in April.
Then again, any Iowa fan with a passing knowledge of recent history would know that it pays to know even the sixth-string RB on Iowa's depth chart because there's a damn good chance that he'll be playing meaningful snaps at some point. And, sure enough, Wegher went AWOL from fall camp and Hampton's other ACL found itself the victim of AIRBHG's rage in Arizona and all of a sudden Iowa was done to just A-Rob and Coker at RB. Ferentz's mule-headed stubbornness kept Coker from playing any meaningful minutes outside of the Ball State romp until (surprise, surprise) injury took A-Rob out of the picture for much of November and made it The Coked-Up Werewolf Show at RB in November.
The early returns for Coker were promising. In his first start, he churned out 129 yards on 22 carries against Indiana and looked every bit the punishing runner his highlight videos promised. The top-end speed wasn't there (and may never be), but the brutal stiff-arm was, along with an impressive unwillingness to go down on initial contact. He was called on again when "academic indigestion" (and then poor play) took A-Rob out of the picture against Ohio State and was again impressive: 7 carries, 60 yards, and one bruising TD. Anyone with two functioning eyes could see that he was the more effective running back in the game (though his blocking skills left much to be desired). After another concussion took A-Rob out of the depth chart, Coker again got the call against Minnesota -- and yet again he was solid: 90 yards on 21 carries and one of the few Iowa players who seemed to give a damn on the frigid TCF Bank turf. He did have a costly late-game fumble, but hey: shit happens.
And now with grades apparently taking A-Rob out of comission for the Insight Bowl, the starting job is once again Coker's. If there's a silver lining to all the drama (injury-related and otherwise) involving A-Rob over the past two months it's that Coker has been able to get a lot of first-team reps, both in practice and in game situations. That can only speed along his development. Either way, he's options A, B, C, and D at the Insight Bowl; if Iowa's running the ball, expect him to be the one carrying the ball because the other options are, frankly, kinda terrifying.
The Listed Back-Up -- Paki O'Meara (SR) 2010: 10 carries, 56 yards; career: 47 carries, 153 yards, 2 TD
According to the listed depth chart, we should be moving the DAS PAKIBOMB Advisory System from yellow to orange -- and getting ready to move it up to red if Coker goes down in the Insight Bowl -- but we're loathe to read too much into that depth chart. Ferentz said this about Paki back in September:
"He has had two concussions now within a month and a half time," Ferentz said of O’Meara, a Cedar Rapids native. "We’re going to be very careful about what he does. That might be a career thing, too."
And when concussions felled A-Rob in November, this is what we heard about Paki:
It’s unclear whether senior Paki O’Meara would be an option at running back. He’s seen limited special teams action since suffering a concussion at Arizona.
The reality is that Paki hasn't had a single snap at RB since the ISU game in early September, even with the season in the balance and Coker the only healthy option for half of the games in November. And now they're going to risk Paki's health in a meaningless December bowl game? Unless Santa brought Paki a new, undamaged brain for Christmas or the training staff has equipped him with some sort of concussion-repelling head gear (and if they have, they should totally license that to the NFL and make a fucking fortune off it), it's awful hard to see Paki getting a look at RB now.
The Real Back-Up -- Jason White (RS FR) 2010: 1 carry, 14 yards; 5 tackles
14 YPC?! ZOMG HE NEEDS TO PLAY RIGHT THIS SECOND! What do you mean "he's only had one carry and it came against Eastern Illinois"? STOP HATING, HATER. He's still listed as a DB and doesn't officially appear on the RB depth chart right now, but he's worked there before and still seems more likely to fill-in at RB than a concussion-addled DAS PAKIBOMB. His name (the same as a former Heisman-winning Oklahoma QB) and number (#3) guarantee all kinds of dumb comments from people who are drunk, confused, and/or stupid (or some combination of all of the above). Here are some helpful hints on telling him apart from them: he's not the Oklahoma QB because (a) he's not white, (b) he doesn't play quarterback, (c) he still has eligibility left, (d) his knee ligaments aren't held together with chewing gum, Krazy Glue, and prayer (although don't tell AIRBHG that), and (e) he didn't steal a Heisman trophy from a more deserving Larry Fitzgerald. And he's not Brandon Wegher because Jason White is still on the team.
The Freshman -- Anthony Hitchens (FR) 2010: 0 carries; 7 tackles
Whenever I see Hitchens' name, I immediately picture a half-naked Christopher Hitchens, which is (obviously) pretty goddamn terrifying. This is probably why; as always, Jacobi is to blame. Anyway, our Hitchens is neither white nor a scathing British writer, which is probably a good thing since we're getting ready to play Missouri in a football game, not challenge them to a satire-off (although let's be honest: that would be way more fun and BHGP would totally kick the stripes out of Rock M Nation). Hitchens came to Iowa with the intention of playing defensive back (what with Iowa's depth there -- especially at safety -- being pretty woeful at the start of the year), but he did run for 1428 yards and 21 TDs as a high school senior, so it's not like running back would be a foreign position to him. And since his redshirt has already been burned (for special teams duty), it makes more sense to throw him out there if things get really desperate than it does to send out the next guy...
The Other Freshman -- De'Andre Johnson (FR)
Unlike Hitchens, Johnson actually came to Iowa to play RB (the poor, deluded fool). Johnson was the other true freshman RB (along with Coker) from last year's recruiting class and was actually the subject of some buzz during fall practice (though in hindsight, that may have just been AIRBHG's locusts). But the thing's that kept Johnson's redshirt firmly affixed even as his fellow running backs dropped like flies was the same thing that's meant his last official stats as a running back were from his junior season of high school (1121 yards, 10 TD): his ACL done blowed up before his senior year of high school and he's been rehabbing it ever since. It's reportedly healed up and ready to go (hence the buzz around his performance in fall practice), but if there was no need to rip off his redshirt when the season was falling apart in November, why waste it now for a meaningless December bowl game? Outside of Coker, Johnson may be the one running back on the roster most capable of helping Iowa in the Insight Bowl, but it's probably not worth throwing away his redshirt year for the goddamn Insight Bowl. If this was the Rose Bowl or the national championship game -- sure, all hands on deck. For a bowl game no one's even going to remember by April? No way.
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Reference tally
“meaningless December bowl game”: 2
“goddamn Insight Bowl”: 1
“Insight Bowl”: 1
“22nd Annual Insight Bowl”: 0
“Enzyte Bowl”: 0
Tuesday night’s game is hereby renamed “meaningless December bowl game.”
by everloyal on Dec 27, 2010 1:45 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
The Enzyte Bowl
Where the fans are required to stand at attention from start to finish, and if the game goes longer than four hours the refs have to call a physician.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 27, 2010 6:34 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Well.
This will be fun.
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
Satire-Off
They are openly stealing BHGP’s satirical themes over at Rock M Nation. I think BHGP would dominate that shit.
Rock M is fine for analysis.
So they’re at least useful for something.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I've been checking out some of their stuff lately
and have been pleasantly surprised. I actually don’t mind their site. It’s no BHGP but decent material.
Aren't Mizzou'ans supposed to be extremely proud of their J-School/literary prowess
Looks like IC is soundly winning this round of the “Athens of the Midwest” prizefight
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 27, 2010 3:51 PM CST up reply actions
Iowa = Writers Workshop
Missouri = J-School
Of course they think facts are the only thing worth discussing.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
dont tell my daughter that
she has a J school degree,,,,,,
i always told her it was better than MissYou
but I couldnt afffod jNW
and Medill IS a journalism school supreme
does the guilt show?
the things you cant do for your kids
Lookup "idiot" in the Dictionary. Leaders and Legends from the Lamely is the def
I'm just very happy
that we are still using the “Coked Up Werewolf” reference.
by DowntownmplsHAWK on Dec 27, 2010 2:12 PM CST reply actions
speaking of... i get the coked part, but is the werewolf part because he's the hairiest black guy i've ever seen?
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
Meet him after practice
Hairy and Large. He’s legit, his had was like a baseball glove. The whole team was cool, got photos w/ Doyle, Norm, Ferentz, Doyle, and Barta
i don't wife em...i one night em
by smokinthereiff on Dec 27, 2010 3:20 PM CST up reply actions
If you got Barta to sign something as Bloodpunch, you'd be my new favorite poster ever.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
No
I wish, he was like send this picture to our website so we can post it with you and your kid. He was pretty hardcore and cool as hell actually.
i don't wife em...i one night em
by smokinthereiff on Dec 27, 2010 3:29 PM CST up reply actions
Of course he was hardcore.
HE’S MOTHERFUCKING BLOODPUNCH.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Ha Ha
Ferentz was tough to get but he came through for a picture. I thought bloodpunch was going to take my kid and break him over his knee. I held him tight.
i don't wife em...i one night em
by smokinthereiff on Dec 27, 2010 3:50 PM CST up reply actions
He's related to Robin Williams?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 27, 2010 5:40 PM CST up reply actions
Sadly
there is a guy at my gym that looks exactly like this, but without the bare batch.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
My ex-wife dumped me for a guy that's hairy like that
Except he’s got a chrome dome going.
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
by The Bird Cult on Dec 28, 2010 5:53 PM CST up reply actions
What does AIRBHG mean?
Still kind of new in these parts.
The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota
"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God
He feasts on ACLs and pro careers.
I will haunt your dreams and eat your children.
So many of us have wished that was true
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 27, 2010 3:52 PM CST up reply actions
AH, A DOCTOR (I PRESUME). MY OLD NEMESIS!
I HOPE YOU ARE NOT AN ARTHROSCOPIC SURGEON.
BUT THANK YOU FOR THE FLATTERING WORDS. I AM PLEASED.
BRING ME YOUR LIGAMENTS!
I might recommend
We deploy a KOK warning system
I heard the CIA was working on it pre-SG
but funding was cut
to pave a parking lot
not named paradise
Lookup "idiot" in the Dictionary. Leaders and Legends from the Lamely is the def
What happens when Paki graduates?
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
by The Bird Cult on Dec 28, 2010 5:53 PM CST up reply actions
It's more than a little tasteless to refer
to any Iowa player as “Coked up” in light of recent events.
And why call the kid a Werewolf? That doesn’t even make sense.
HUH-HUH HUH UHHH HUH HUH HHUH HUH

Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 3:02 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
You are
the most beloved member of the Iowa Football Program BHGP
"I don't believe in quotes" - Karl Klug
Welcome aboard!
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Dec 27, 2010 3:04 PM CST up reply actions
Was that a Judgement Night reference?
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 27, 2010 6:39 PM CST up reply actions
The word Judgment does not have that first "e"
I also think it’s stupid, but there it is.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 27, 2010 6:51 PM CST up reply actions
Thank you Miss Librarian...
…was it a Judgment Night reference.
geez
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 27, 2010 7:11 PM CST up reply actions
Wow. Chalk it up to a long, sick holiday season for me.
I can’t believe I didn’t catch that.
I thought it was odd to quote a movie that few remember. I fucking love Stripes!
/shakes head in self contempt
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 28, 2010 8:36 AM CST up reply actions
tasteless?!?!
I think coke tastes great
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
I want him to be our new starting defensive tackle.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
He's not intense
He’s winded from chasing Chappel / Persa / Pryor around for the whole 4th quarter.
by GaryDolphinSafeTuna on Dec 27, 2010 9:07 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
GoHox: I thought you said you were going to take your ball and go home
after EyeHeart told you to fuck off for saying you were tired of these seniors and didn’t want to watch them play anymore
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 27, 2010 3:55 PM CST up reply actions
I hadn't thought about that thread since I posted that reply...
…but you captured my curiosity and I went to see the replies.
Um, yeah. He’s just a message board poster who migrated over here. He doesn’t understand football on more than a basic level (and that’s fine- – you don’t have to be able to referee in order to be a fan, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to listen to your fanboy crap either), and contradicts himself within his own posts.
GoHox, from what I hear they will be playing some of the seniors tomorrow. I hope you don’t tune in. I know you’re a big fan and all, but I’d hate for you to have to watch any of these guys in their last college game ever.
Oh, and I’m married, so I fuck myself all the time.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 27, 2010 7:20 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
seriously, though
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
It has nothing to do with how hairy Coker is or isn't, nor is it a reference to any recent events.
It’s a reference to an old Conan O’Brien character, the Coked-up Werewolf. It started as a play on words, Cokered-up Werewolf, and has simply been shortened.
Quick aside to all those in need of reference help: this page has a search function in the top right corner, if you think a joke is exclusive to BHGP, there may be some history there. If you’re unsure, try Google, I hear that’s a fairly useful search engine.
by The Mexican't on Dec 27, 2010 3:45 PM CST up reply actions
They're probably still using Ask Jeeves.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
You're probably now using Bing
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 27, 2010 3:55 PM CST up reply actions
TOO SOON'D

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Sweet Valencia Oranges!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3uFUjWhfdE
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Dec 27, 2010 4:38 PM CST up reply actions
Well, the dude is fucking hairy,so I'm going with that so I won't think we're stealing jokes.
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
The thing I like most about Coker is his balance.
He’s like an A-Rob but 30 or so pounds heavier. And maybe not quite as elusive yet more bruisish.
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
He runs bent over at the waist and head slight angled forward too much
and that will be corrected over the spring, and then he might kill someone. If he runs low to the ground but with his trunk and head up (ala Shonn Greene) he will be a very good player. He can drop his head as needed. Right now he is like a gun with the hammer pulled back at all times.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
Agreed. That running stance is the reason I loved Hampton
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 27, 2010 4:32 PM CST up reply actions
Just hang onto the the fuckin ball.
Dadgum it!
How would you like your steak done, Mr Sweater Vest?
by FiveSecondRuleChef on Dec 27, 2010 3:53 PM CST reply actions
I should have added my prediction
120 on the ground with 2 fumbles.
How would you like your steak done, Mr Sweater Vest?
by FiveSecondRuleChef on Dec 27, 2010 3:55 PM CST up reply actions
Idon't know no gobble-dee-gook.
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
/fucking hate that commmercial
(more than any other, possibly)
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
that's the one Fran Progressive commercial I dont like
But it’s still better than every 5 hour energy commercial. And the pathetic James Patterson commercials.
If I didn't get a free year's supply (372 bottles worth) of 5 hour energy 5 years ago, I might agree.
As is, I don’t think I can ever think a bad thing about the company.
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
Kokaine's going rogue and Stanzi's his Manchurian candidate.
Ricky’s throwing for 300+.
(feet)
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
Fun fact:
Ricky’s thrown for 300+ just one time (Indiana ’09 – a game that included TD passes of 92 and 66 yards).
Is anyone else blown away by the fact that he can’t seem to get to 300 yards?
by The Mexican't on Dec 27, 2010 4:39 PM CST up reply actions
300's for hippies.
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Dec 27, 2010 4:45 PM CST up reply actions
"Spreading the wealth" to multiple receivers smacks of communism.
True fact: O’Keefe and Parker were offensive and defensive czars before Stanzi came here and made them coordinators.
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 27, 2010 4:48 PM CST up reply actions
Who you callin' a hppie?

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Please.
Look at him – scraggly beard, hasn’t bathed, wearing some sort of dirty sweat-stained poncho-thing, surrounded by smoke…
Hippie.
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Dec 27, 2010 5:33 PM CST up reply actions
I'm thinking he pissed
Because his room mate just bogarted his last fattie.
How would you like your steak done, Mr Sweater Vest?
by FiveSecondRuleChef on Dec 27, 2010 6:25 PM CST up reply actions
Since When
Do hippies wield swords and have arrows sticking out of their chests?
by Black&Gold.Forever on Dec 27, 2010 7:00 PM CST up reply actions
Chicago 1968?
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Dec 27, 2010 7:17 PM CST up reply actions
The G7 conference, everywhere in France
And Pink Floyd’s The Wall.
The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota
"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
That hippie needs a blunt something fierce.
He is way too un-mellow.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I'll be there in 20 minutes.
Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 7:27 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Ok maybe 30 minutes,
can’t find my shoes
Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 7:29 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Has anyone seen a black Vans shoe, size 12? I thought it was under the couch.
It’s the right shoe.
Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 7:39 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Oh woops, it's the left shoe, not the right.
Haha, my bad.
Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 7:51 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Seriously though, has anyone seen it?
Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 7:51 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm on my way though dude, hang tight.
Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 7:51 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Give me like, 20 more minues.
I’m doin some stuff. But I’m on my way.
Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 8:15 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Love it.
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 27, 2010 9:50 PM CST up reply actions
Hey I found my shoe!
It was by the tub. Ok, get ready to get your smoke on, brother, I’m on my way.
Shut up, Chazz.
by DRUGS on Dec 27, 2010 10:53 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
C'mon.
His hair isn’t messy enough.
Vastly more memorable than Jon Crispin's UCLA career.
by ReadingRambler on Dec 27, 2010 9:31 PM CST up reply actions
What's in your wallet?
OK ...one time Randy Beaman had to take baths with his brother ... so one time his little brother took a potty in the bathtub ... and now Randy Beaman gets to take showers by himself. 'K. Bye
by HawkOnRails on Dec 28, 2010 12:10 AM CST up reply actions
Wow how appropriate of a picture
they kicked ass for the first three quarters then lost at the end! (I hate myself for this post)
More important question
Just got my first bottle of Templeton Rye for Christmas. It was a he’ll of a Christmas thank you. Now so I don’t waste a drop, what is the best way to consume? I like my bourbon with a teaspoonfull of cold water, never mix the quality stuff. Suggestions?
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 27, 2010 6:31 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Rocks.
But whatever. You should drink it however you like it.
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Dec 27, 2010 6:36 PM CST up reply actions
Agreed...rocks are the way to go for me...
But if you want to mix it, go to town. Enjoy it!
by MaulerHawk on Dec 27, 2010 7:45 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
That is not a question at all.
To quote John Lennon "You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not."-Dinner for Schmucks.
by Pain in the Sash on Dec 27, 2010 7:24 PM CST up reply actions
A Totino's pizza is the same size
as the inside of a toaster oven.
Think on that for awhile
Jack Trice Stadium - Easily one of the Top 10 Stadiums in Central Iowa
by Not Marv Cook on Dec 27, 2010 9:08 PM CST up reply actions
I also enjoy having diarrhea.
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 27, 2010 9:51 PM CST up reply actions
Oh hey in Awesome Name News,
RB Mika’il McCall just verballed to Iowa, apparently.
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
He can put an apostrophe in it
but I know a Russian name when I see one. Good thing Stanzi’s on his way out the door, I don’t think those two would get along.
Also: The Rushin’ Russian. Ha!
"You think you can take me? Go ahead on. It's your move." -- Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Dec 28, 2010 12:13 AM CST up reply actions
We could just call him RUSH
and then we’d do wicked Air-Bass (the instrument, not the fish) solos every time he picks up a first down.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 28, 2010 8:40 AM CST up reply actions
Some year, some time
we’re going to beat AIRBHG simply through a war of attrition. Of course, to do that, we’ll have to sign about 36 RBs per class. And since we’re not coached by Huston Nutt or Nick Saban, that could be kind of tough.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Hey is anyone else watching Bourdain right now?
China. That shit is fucked up! Looks like pretty good Chinese food though.
Shut up, Chazz.
Whoa.
Anyone else watching Bourdain right now?
That roasted bone marrow looked fucikng awsome.
Shut up, Chazz.
DRUGS, what are your demands?
I want to save this hijacked thread.
How would you like your steak done, Mr Sweater Vest?
by FiveSecondRuleChef on Dec 27, 2010 8:52 PM CST reply actions
What's to save.
DRUGS was simply injecting life into the thread.
by The Mexican't on Dec 27, 2010 9:54 PM CST up reply actions
I am thoroughly enjoying the DRUGS
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 27, 2010 9:55 PM CST up reply actions
He was injecting something
not sure it was “life” as much as it was pure, China white.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?DRUGS, what are your demands?
haha that sounds funny of you say it a whole bunch
Shut up, Chazz.
I love you DRUGS
Don’t listen to the haters, keep doin’ yo’ thang.
by PackerHawk on Dec 28, 2010 6:36 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
If we win tonight
I propose that we say “fuck it” and join the big 12. We can go 10-2 every year and make it to a BCS game a la Nebraska Cornholers. Delaney, Tressel and Goldy can turn it sideways and cram it.
How would you like your steak done, Mr Sweater Vest?
by FiveSecondRuleChef on Dec 28, 2010 5:19 AM CST reply actions
I don't remember a game presenting as little interest as this one does.
Or am I projecting?
We play tackle football, most of the time.
the game's tonight?
and I was just in Iowa City yesterday…
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 28, 2010 7:32 AM CST up reply actions
What game?
What are you talking about?
Vastly more memorable than Jon Crispin's UCLA career.
by ReadingRambler on Dec 28, 2010 7:52 AM CST up reply actions
If there was a game that generated less interest you would probably have forgotten about it
I’d say your statement is more tautology than projection.
I think people are interested and are going to watch, but
I think people around here are from the school of, “If you don’t have anything nice to say then…”
If Iowa wins there may be a slight increase in chatter but if Iowa loses this place will be a desert mortuary.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
Did you miss the second half live thread and the venting thread after the Minnesota game?
I’m assuming it was brutal, because I logged off after the Coker fumble and came back a week later to see some high comment counts in those threads.
I actually went to the dessert mortuary, otherwise known as what my trash can looks like after a 3 day Ben and Jerry’s binge to drown the sorrow.


















