FanPost

Purdue Setting the Stage for Rivalry Status

 

(Inside the Purdue Boilermaker's locker room at Ross-Ade Stadium, leading Wisconsin 10-6, Danny Pope gives the following speech to his team...)

"Great half of football, fellas.  Really great half.  We're really stopping the Badgers in their tracks.  We've held them to only 122 yards of total offense, they haven't even gotten into the red zone once, and we even intimidated them into missing a field goal.  Really great half of football...

"IF YOUR A FUCKING IOWA-LOVER!  Do you know what happens if we go out there and beat Wisconsin today, boys?  Sure, we'll have a victory celebration the likes of which West Lafayette hasn't seen in ages.  Heck, we may even be a lead story at ESPN, unless something mediocre happens in the SEC.  But is that one evening worth of fame, notoriety, under-aged binge drinking and wanton sexual activity worth seeing Ricky "Love it or leave it" Stanzi stading there where a god-damn rose in his mouth at the end of the season?  I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO!  WHERE'RE YOUR GOD-DAMNED HEADS AT?  Because they aren't in this game!  If your heads were in this game you'd be looking beyond the next 30 minutes of football and looking ahead to the end of the season and our protected rivalry game next season!

"Now, we get the ball to start the second half.  Sean Robinson, I want you to throw an interception."

(Sean Robinson looks at Danny Hope in shock.)

"DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"

(Sean Robinson quietly replies, "No, Sensei.")

"Good," Danny Hope replies, "No mercy.  We will lose this game to ensure that Our Most Hated Rival does not go to the Rose Bowl.  And for the last fucking time, don't call me 'Sensei.'  BOILER UP!"

(The team rushes back onto the field to lose in glorious fashion in the second half, continuing to quell the Rose Bowl hopes of the Iowa Hawkeyes and ensuring that next year's protected rivalry will be meaningful.)

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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