We're coming for you... 8 days left Herky.
by Glopknar on Nov 5, 2010 1:04 PM CDT
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PrintThe Most High Clerics of the Evil Wizardry Guild have appointed me to deliver a message. So that you can understand me, I must ask that you remove your arcane memory-constrictors and peer back into the dark hours of your history. Let us recall the recent triumphs:
If a frenchman can do it ...
Brett Basanez - 2005
... an Asian can do it ...
CJ Bacher - 2006 & 2008
... and a lanky goddamn philosopher can do it ...
Mike Kafka - 2009
... then you can bet your amorphous, over-sized, corn-fed asses a hobbit can do it ...
Dan Persa - 2010
PREPARE YOUR SPELLS HERKY
(Please take this with the good humor with which it was intended)
Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.
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Well done, sir
Unfortunately for jNW, this team seems to be able to remember past performances and use them as fuel. Just ask Sparty. Unless you take out Stanzi again, anticipate something that you would like to forget in the future.
/well-intentioned smack talk
Never count out the Wizgerald
… but yeah after seeing the Nigh-Unwatchable Spartan Massacre of 2010 – I’m not feeling real good about it.
You got me
I am totally jealous of your usage of Lord of the Rings metaphors in trash talking. Totally.
I wish I were as cool as you, Dildo Baggins.
Brunettes not fighter jets
Dude
The majority of specific references were Dungeons & Dragons, which your pro bro pointed out below with his witty-as-fuck Second Edition comment.
And yeah, it’s nice to be able to trash talk when you’ve won 4 of the last 5 meetings.
Yeah?
Well, your starting runningback is named Trumpy. I hated that episode. It was really boring. Northwestern should never have been allowed to ally themselves with crappy European filmmakers.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 7:40 PM CDT up reply actions
"We're Coming For You"? But it's a home game...
…oh, well. I guess it’s exciting when anyone attends Ryan Field on jNW’s behalf.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Wrigley should be a great setting for the battle over the Sweet Sioux Tomahawk Land of Lincoln Trophy. Top Hat on a Box.
FUCK YEAH
Top hat on a box comin’ home to Evanston.
Also, at least it isn’t the Land Grant Trophy… blurgggh
True
Or the Telephone Trophy. Or, for that matter, the CyHawk Trophy. I just realized that Iowa State plays for some ugly trophies. At least we can offset the CyHawk with Floyd and the Heartland Trophy (which I actually think looks good).
Tear.
Dude don’t mention that H* trophy for 2 or 3 years
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Nov 5, 2010 7:31 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm really interested in that game.
I had really high hopes for outdoor hockey at Wrigley but the actual execution was kind of unimpressive. One of my favorite parts of the fan experience at hockey games is the proximity of the fans to the rink and it seems like that was completely eliminated in that Hawks/Wings game.
I’m trying to picture what the fan experience is going to be like for Cats and Illini fans. Obviously a football field is much bigger than a hockey rink, so hopefully fans can get closer to the field in this game.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Nov 5, 2010 1:47 PM CDT up reply actions
A little something like this...
But holy mother of baseball I hope they cut the grass in line with the field before the game.
Exactly
Except with Illini fans
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:20 PM CDT up reply actions
Remember to bring an extra $20, then
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions
No.
They suck, who cares, the end.
You, on the other hand, are Northwestern.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 4:40 PM CDT up reply actions
I assume...
you mean justNorthwestern
Oh, *fuck you*! I'm not the rope-totin' Charlie Bronson wannabe that's getting us fucking lost!
by Scrotie McBoogerballs on Nov 5, 2010 9:26 PM CDT up reply actions
$20? That seems high during a recession.
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
by The Bird Cult on Nov 5, 2010 8:59 PM CDT up reply actions
Good luck catching too much of it on TV.
It’s on at 2:30pm CST, the same time as the OSU/Iowa game.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I don't know about at Wrigley
But after seeing two Wisconsin hockey games in football stadiums (WI-OSU @ Lambeau and WI-Michigan @ Camp Randall) I can say that there’s something special about 50-60k fans at a hockey game that can offset the distance from the rink.
Not only is there an actual secondary market for tickets to a jNW game...
… it’s actually fairly lucrative.
Will wonders never cease.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
No, they're really coming for us
Ryan Field is officially Kinnick East.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
Not so much this year...
You’ll have a big chunk to be sure but based upon previous weeks I’d expect to see 75% of Ryan in purple.
Now I cannot say for sure how loud they’ll be… given all the crotchety old fuckers.
Well your seats are purple, so that makes sense.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 5, 2010 2:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Excellent. This is absolutely bad karma for the bad guys. Not quite playing-your-best-CB-2-days-after-he-gets-out-of-jail-and-making-him-sit-the-entire-1st-quarter-as-punishment-then-playing-him-because-the-opposing-fans-are-meanies-and-too-close-to-the-sidelines bad karma, but bad karma coming from that school.
by txhawkeye on Nov 5, 2010 1:45 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I believe that you are a Northwestern fan and thus, nonexistant.
I wish your account would somehow get deleted at this very second so it would look like I’m not responding to anyone.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 2:05 PM CDT up reply actions
Rumors of NU fan extinction are exaggerated...
While the creature is quiet, and often reclusive, NCAA ecologists assure as that at least a couple hundred still exist.
We're being taunted by a woolly mammoth.
This is unacceptable.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 2:12 PM CDT up reply actions
Your mocking of karma is additional proof of the transient nature of jNW football fandom. Team A beats jNW, “That’s ok, we don’t care about football anyway.” Team A loses to jNW, “Hahahahahaha, you guys suck and we ruined your season.” Ugh. Fans just don’t mess with the football gods.
I don't see how that follows.
After a loss I still care about football, and I don’t want the team to win just to ruin others seasons, I want the team to have success and compete in a good bowl game.
Karma – as in the belief that the universe keeps some magic counter of your “good” and “bad” actions and fucks with the laws of physics to balance each person’s happiness / sadness with their tally – is fucking absurd and what I don’t believe in.
Calling Karma 'fucking absurd'
is most certainly bad karma. Enjoy herpes.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:17 PM CDT up reply actions
Herpes...
… can actually only be contracted by physical exposure to the virus. Message boards are not known carriers.
You know a lot about herpes
What about syphilis? Can you get syphilis from the internet?
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:26 PM CDT up reply actions
You're killing my readership, bastard.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 6, 2010 1:39 AM CDT up reply actions
Wow, I typed my genital warts comment below and had no idea this thread was descending into an STD discussion.
Glad to inadvertently contribute.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Nov 5, 2010 7:56 PM CDT up reply actions
ISU...woolly mammoths...I'm not writing that joke.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 4:41 PM CDT up reply actions
I have lots of comments here and stuff!
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 6, 2010 6:52 PM CDT up reply actions
jNW fans are the genital warts that you think went away, only to have a flare-up on your wedding night.
(Because you hooked up with Chrissy Cox.)
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Nov 5, 2010 7:54 PM CDT up reply actions
All right jNW, you called down the thunder, well now you've got it!
The wildcats are finished, you understand? I see a purple helmet and I kill the man wearin’ it. So RUN you cur…RUN! Tell all the other curs the law’s comin’! You tell ‘em Adrian’s coming, and hell’s comin’ with me, you hear?
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
lightning bolt
lightning bolt
lightning bolt
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:12 PM CDT up reply actions
NORTHWESTERN ENGINEERING
Triumphs again with the lightning rod helmet, insulated jersey and pants wires, and grounded cleats!
Nerd sympathizer.
Those who sleep or otherwise fraternize with the enemy will pay when order is restored.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 7:41 PM CDT up reply actions
/shrug
I’m a quarter nerd on my mom’s side.
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Nov 6, 2010 9:38 AM CDT up reply actions
Pretty sure the picture of Basenez is actually Jordan Catalano
2 points if you go back up to look at the photo.
3 points if you have to Google ‘Jordan Catalano’
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:15 PM CDT reply actions
Yes
(redeemable never)
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:18 PM CDT up reply actions
I regret the ten seconds I spent googling Jordan Catalano.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 4:42 PM CDT up reply actions
More than the ten seconds you spent googling Justin Bieber?
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:45 PM CDT up reply actions
About the same.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 5:41 PM CDT up reply actions
It only takes you ten seconds to google?
/Tracy Jordan’d
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
At least I got 2 points.
Depression & angst FTW! Thank god that part of my life is over. Watching MTV for subversiveness was never a good idea (at least not past the early 80s).
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Nov 5, 2010 8:40 PM CDT up reply actions
Wait...I don't get it. You're coming for us?!
But aren’t we coming to your house?!
Dan Persa has a fupa
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:24 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
fat upper pussy area
5 more points if you go up and look
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:27 PM CDT up reply actions
I looked.
I believe that’s just the custom athletic protector he had made to accommodate his fist sized testicles.
It's a pity he wears them on his belly button
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:32 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yes I am
As long as CUBEE JAKKET is French for ABDOMINAL VAGINA
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 4:48 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Oh, come on!
It’s a vajomach.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 6, 2010 1:40 AM CDT up reply actions
Weak
http://www.sippinonpurple.com/2010/11/5/1796659/gotta-jet-for-a-bit-but-could-use-some-support
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 5:01 PM CDT reply actions
epic weak.
i love the picture posted in reply tho
fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yard charge - syracuse '07
by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Nov 5, 2010 5:13 PM CDT up reply actions
you are a fanbase
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 5, 2010 9:35 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Disclaimer
The views expressed by Glopknar do not necessarily reflect the views of Sippin’ On Purple, its editors, or Northwestern fans in general. Don’t blame us for what this chucklehead says; he doesn’t speak for us.
Carry on.
no
I was also joking around, its fine
but I would rather we don’t get flooded by vengeful Iowa fans in the likely event of an Iowa victory.
Doesn't really matter.
Chances are that it’s going to happen anyway. :)
He does, however, speak for Fitzgerald and the Potato.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 5, 2010 7:41 PM CDT up reply actions
God i hate that fucking potato
A Voice From Kinnick - A Hawkeye Blog
by mikjones24 on Nov 5, 2010 7:49 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
jNW?
Sorry, there just isn’t enough hate left in me – as my total hate is focused on our most hated rival, fPurdoo.
Yes.
"Iowa is like a flat Pennsylvania."
Beat Northwestern.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 6, 2010 6:54 PM CDT up reply actions
Yes, the second half made me feel much better about next week
of the PSU/jNW game, not the Iowa game. The latter still makes me shudder this morning. Wondering if the Fitzard can conjure up a run defense in a week?
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
by The Bacon Explosion on Nov 7, 2010 12:19 PM CST up reply actions
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