I'm back. I'd love to talk about my whereabouts last week, but federal prosecutors forbid it. I've already said too much.
I would ridicule you for picking Michigan, but it's my money so fuck me I guess. Try to do better so I can buy Christmas presents for my loved ones.
Speaking of loved ones, my mom is visiting me from Iowa and she's sitting right next to me as I type this. She just looked at the previous paragraph and said, "what are you doing, you can't say fuck on there." *Sigh*
She does, however, still provide me with words of wisdom, like this little gem about 2 minutes ago:
"Flies eat shit. I wouldn't want to be a fly."
/finishes glass of Pinot Noir
Now get in there and pick me a winner. Momma needs another bottle of wine. Oh, and you still don't get the Iowa spread. We'll see how you act this week. Feel free to discuss it in the comments.
I'll leave you with another quote my mom just said after I started laughing when she couldn't figure out how to open up my laptop.
You act like I was born with a computer up my ass.
She's the greatest.