We all know what happened this season
I have been an avid BHGP reader since the middle of last summer (long time.. i know) and a Hawkeye fan as long as I can remember. I remember discovering BHGP the summer before this season and discussing the expectations for the year with everyone. Much of the conventional wisdom said that our season goes as the offensive line goes. We all know that for Iowa to be successful we need to run the ball well and with such a great stable of RB's it really came down to the O-Line. Certainly, if they jelled early and played even a decent season this would be a year where we could make a run at the big ten title and perhaps even a MNC. We did after all, have three running backs that each brought something different to the table and would be able to provide the essential running game we needed.
We all know that the story takes a dark turn from here. BW3 for reasons unknown to Hawkeye Nation (rumors set aside of course) does not report to camp. That's ok, is the general mindset of most fans, we still have two great running backs and some great recruits that should be able to handle spot duty in a crunch. Then the next turn, Jewell Hampton tears his other ACL to end his season after only a few carries. Now, we are down to one RB. ONE RB survives the first three weeks of the season and while he does an absolutely excellent job, the hits wear on him, and he is limited in the last quarter of the season with two concussions. The season ends as an inexperienced, though talented, freshman runner fumbles the game away to the Goofers. (Yes i am aware that Cokers fumble had little to do with the outcome of the game but it is a bit fitting that our 4'th string RB is expected to carry the final game isn't it?)
So what is it that caused this unfortunate turn of events. Those of you new to this community may answer with, well its just bad luck, or its a violent game.. injuries happen. You are wrong. It is the Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God (AIRBHG) that is responsible for the misfortunes of this season. The same that forced Sam Brownlee into service back in 2004 is still here picking on our talented group of ball carriers. He is a commie asshole who hates everything that is good in the world.
To add insult to injury while our RB's get hurt, Wisconsin's stable of backs goes nearly untouched for the season leading them to the type of season that we expected for ourselves. The type of season that we may have had if we had all of our RB's available. So what do we do about this problem you ask? How do we stop the AIRBHG? The FINAL SOLUTION after the jump
That's right.. TRICKERY ( no KOK.. not an end around ) .. we must convince AIRBHG that Madison is actually Iowa City and that he has been mistaken in hating on us nice Wisconsinians all these years. I suggest you forward this picture to all that you know in hopes that he will see it and unleash his wrath on the true assholes. Also, in order to help it seem more real you must all eat cheese like there is no tomorrow and drink like a fish.. that my friends is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.
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I am glad to live in Iowa
I am going to go fishing on Lake Superior, which borders Iowa.
Brunettes not fighter jets
by rockyh on Nov 30, 2010 2:29 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
I'm convinced
Will volunteer to change Interstate / Highway signs between Davenport and Dubuque.
Who’s got next?
Davenport and Dubuque?
You mean Racine and Sheboygan.
"Yeah, and that’s bullshit, cause Boise plays Kirkwood every other weekend".
Smokin' Herb Grigsby's Mom (+1, I say)
Running backs going to iowa
on the one hand, early playing time is almost guaranteed, on the other, some crazy shit will happen that prevents you from playing at least once. decisions decisions
by justsomehawkeyefan on Nov 30, 2010 2:46 PM CST reply actions
Good shit my friend.
I just had another idea to trick the AIRBHG – early next season he will likely knock out our top 3 running backs, out comes goalie 4th string running back Greg Goldberg De’Andre Johnson, but little does Iceland AIRBHG know, it is actually Russ Tyler Adam Robinson!! He leads us to victory with his patented knuckle puck spin move. The day is saved and the Ducks Hawkeyes win the championship.
by A True Americanzi on Nov 30, 2010 4:40 PM CST reply actions
That would be awesome.
Except for the fact that the Mighty Ducks were filthy Floyd-defiling Minnesotans.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
That is a conundrum.
I never knew people from Iceland were such evil assholes until MIGHTY DUCKS II enlightened me.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Iceland itself is an asshole.
The island just decides to blow up from a volcano last spring and ruin everything.
by A True Americanzi on Dec 1, 2010 4:12 PM CST up reply actions
And an asshole that's getting bigger
Iceland sits on the boundary between the European and North American plates. As those plates separate, Iceland is getting larger due to the volcanic activity.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I also didn't know
that Iceland was green and Greenland is ice.
Thank you, Disney, for your continued education of America’s youth on all things important (including the Flying V).
If we're redrawing the map can it please say "Iowa Fucking City"?
thxkbai
Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Dec 1, 2010 8:22 AM CST reply actions
This could probably be arranged
though that fine paint project took me about 3 minutes.. Not sure if I have the time to re-do it.
"If you're easily offended, we thank you for stopping by but ask that you turn your browser elsewhere." -- BHGP Disclaimer
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Dec 1, 2010 8:46 AM CST up reply actions
I think it should be re-named Shonn Greene City.
At least we're not Michigan since 1855.
Beat some mediocre SEC team or whatever.
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2010 8:48 AM CST up reply actions
Melvin Gordons decommitment
is a blessing in disguise. AIRBHG thinks he’s a Hawk and will follow him to Madison which has now been labeled as Iowa City Iowa Fucking City Shonn Greene City. Not knowing he is actually in Wisconsin he tears every ligament he can find.
"I don't believe in quotes" - Karl Klug
If only Melvin read BHGP
he would see the error in his ways.
"If you're easily offended, we thank you for stopping by but ask that you turn your browser elsewhere." -- BHGP Disclaimer
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Dec 1, 2010 10:38 AM CST up reply actions
Fuck you, were Wisconsin?
Doesn’t have the same ring to it though.
"I don't believe in quotes" - Karl Klug
‘fuck you, we’re wisky’
fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yard charge - syracuse '07
by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Dec 2, 2010 9:39 AM CST up reply actions
I can't wait to make the quick 1 hour trip North
to buy Iowa beer.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
I think it's pronounced Wiscyonsin
I’ve spent time up there in Iowa, I’m pretty sure they all talk like Canadians too, don’t ya know.
Hey Dolph, you look like I need a beer.
by Give Eddie a Beer on Dec 1, 2010 12:22 PM CST reply actions
eh?
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Dec 1, 2010 10:21 PM CST up reply actions
I like your thinking here...
…but I will not call myself a Wisconsin-ite.
Also, Templeton Rye can not be made in Wisconsin. That makes no sense. I’ll not stand for it.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 3, 2010 11:03 AM CST reply actions
Right.
Because it’s made in Indiana.
/Actually, I’m not sure it still is, but it was within the last few years.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 4, 2010 11:17 AM CST up reply actions
Uh, no.
Definitely only made in Templeton, Iowa.
Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Dec 7, 2010 3:15 AM CST up reply actions

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