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Iowa football...Why care anymore?


Philosophers long ago identified that existence just may be meaningless--and that free will is nothing more than an illusion--as one of life's essential and most important questions. In centuries past, some philosophers have taken this to the extreme, arguing for suicide as the preferred, if not only, solution. On the other hand, others have taken a more existentialist tack, arguing that embracing that fundamental meaninglessness to be the ultimate act of liberation. As an Iowa football fan one could easily find him or herself wedged between these two philosophical suppositions. What started as a season of the greatest import, a potentially life-changing year of progress and great possibility, has unraveled into a sort of illusion which forces the ardent true believing Iowa fan to confront a potentially devastating reality. 

Iowa, is Iowa. Nothing more, nothing less.

Star-divide

Does it matter?

"And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win or we lose. It just doesn't matter!"

                                                                                                                                  --- Bill Murray, from Meatballs (1979)

It just doesn't matter. So you embrace the existentialist solution. Of course, in addition to being a solution, that approach is quite possibly the most deceitful lie you've ever engaged in. You know and all your friends know that you'll never be without caring for Iowa football. As long as you invest even so much as a few seconds in a season caring about Iowa football, you're bound (and gagged) to the quandary of meaning.

 

Meaning. What does it all mean?

Today Iowa takes on its bitter interstate rival, for a trophy with which we have convinced ourselves is of significant importance and, yes, meaning. "We're playing for the pig, man!" A pig. Indeed. Oh the irony. First off, Iowa already owns the pig and has for several years. They are merely protecting the pig. Thus there is no joy of achieving possession. Second, we are expected to protect that ownership with style, we are expected to win and win large. There is practically no one outside of West Lafayette who sanely believes this is a losable game. Check that, there is no one that will forgive the Hawkeyes should they lose this game. Even playing it close but winning will lead to ridicule and scorn, which is painful enough. But losing? Catastrophe. Beyond the pig, there is possibly even less payoff that awaits. Iowa relinquished any postseason control long ago. Penn State, a team that Iowa more or less crushed early in their fated Big Ten campaign, a team that has never been ranked within earshot of Iowa and a team that has all the bowl season sex appeal of Gilbert Gottfried, has more control over their post-season destiny than does Iowa. We are told that a win over the hated interstate rival will not enhance our standing, but a loss will most assuredly strike a deathblow. In short, it just doesn't matter.

Ah...so that's it eh? Win and you really win nothing. Lose and you lose everything. If you are an existentialist you really don't care because it's all meaningless entertainment, a happy-go-lucky distraction from your weekend chores. If you do care, if you are what the philosophers call an extremist---or to use the more colloquial term---a fan, how do you approach today?

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How about we just beat these

Goofers and call it a day?

Welcome to Ohiowa, the great potato state!
Bret Bielema is a damned red-commie traitor.

by ninerhawk on Nov 27, 2010 11:17 AM CST reply actions  

Oh and I'm really not sure who I want to see lose more

Ohio State – because it’s tOSU
or Michigan – because I want dickrod gone.

Welcome to Ohiowa, the great potato state!
Bret Bielema is a damned red-commie traitor.

by ninerhawk on Nov 27, 2010 11:18 AM CST reply actions  

Call me an insane pessimist,

but I sincerely fear Michigan tapping Ferentz should they give Rodriguez the boot, and I fear Ferentz might accept. I, like many here, am of the persuasion that Ferentz wants to be a JoePa, someone who builds a sound, respected program in his own image, stays til retirement, and leaves behind a record of stability and success. I think he wants to do that at Iowa, but I fear Michigan’s infinitely greater ease of recruitment, limitless resources, and native state pride could convince him that he could leave a better legacy in Ann Arbor than in Iowa city.

by Third Generation Hawk on Nov 27, 2010 11:45 AM CST up reply actions  

I understand your fear

but I would be much more concerned if it was Penn State you were talking about.

Welcome to Ohiowa, the great potato state!
Bret Bielema is a damned red-commie traitor.

by ninerhawk on Nov 27, 2010 11:47 AM CST up reply actions  

Yeah, them too.

Which could also happen within the next year or two.

by Third Generation Hawk on Nov 27, 2010 12:37 PM CST up reply actions  

Sorry guys

but Michigan would never allow him to lose to Sweater Vest, Jo Pa I think has already said who the replacement is going to be. I don’t see him leaving Iowa unless he is driven out.( Dr. Tom anyone)

by nwyms Trebek! on Nov 27, 2010 1:42 PM CST up reply actions  

And you seriously believe Iowa would be worse off without Ferentz?

Not that he’s ever going anywhere, mind you, as long as Iowa keeps shelling out obscene amounts of cash in order to perpetuate our distinguished mediocrity, so that we can all continue to take pride in being either the worst of the best or the best of the worst ("we’re better at keeping it close than anybody…)

by RiverCityHawkFan on Nov 27, 2010 2:25 PM CST up reply actions  

In terms of the seniors

this should be simple. The past couple of years helped them make their own statement for the program and for themselves. A lot has been lost, but all is not lost. End this to cement what you have done in the past, what you have built of the program and yourselves.

In Norm we trust.

by Mr. Grizz on Nov 27, 2010 11:21 AM CST reply actions  

I'm having Satre in the morning

Ding dong! The bells are gonna chime.
Pull out the stopper! Let’s have a whopper!
But get me to TCF on time!
I gotta be there in the mornin’
Spruced up and coookin’ Gopher instead of prime.
KOK is gonna piss me;
Show how you’ll miss me.
But get me to the TCF on time!

If Sarah Palin were any smarter rocks would be in trouble

by OhioHawk on Nov 27, 2010 11:25 AM CST reply actions  

Just saw that BSU lost in OT

Guess we can finally quit hearing about their gripes of being left out of the national championship.

Welcome to Ohiowa, the great potato state!
Bret Bielema is a damned red-commie traitor.

by ninerhawk on Nov 27, 2010 11:25 AM CST reply actions  

Gordee Gee is right?

nah he is mary sue coleman with a dick

If Sarah Palin were any smarter rocks would be in trouble

by OhioHawk on Nov 27, 2010 11:27 AM CST up reply actions  

I watched that game late last night. I very much enjoyed seeing Boise yank defeat from victory, and their kicker miss the fg try right that would have won at the end of regulation, and then miss in OT left on the overcorrection. Why did I enjoy it? Because, fuck those guys, that’s why.

by txhawkeye on Nov 27, 2010 11:41 AM CST up reply actions  

My thoughts exactly...

I personally can’t stand them. Their regular season is a joke. Granted, they do try to schedule teams that are from major conferences, but until they get into a real conference I will always look at them with scorn.

Welcome to Ohiowa, the great potato state!
Bret Bielema is a damned red-commie traitor.

by ninerhawk on Nov 27, 2010 11:46 AM CST up reply actions  

But, but, but

that FG at the end of regulation was good, it should have never gone to OT.

I just hope this doesn’t go from high and mighty trash talking on there part to incessant whining that they got screwed by officiating.

by Hank Thrasher on Nov 27, 2010 12:30 PM CST up reply actions  

PEr Mas Casa

“There are no bowls here today.”

It just doesn’t matter.

"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.

by StoopsMyAss on Nov 27, 2010 11:44 AM CST reply actions  

I'd imagine that all the BigTen bowl reps have already seen Iowa play.

Plus, how many neutral fans want to fly into Minnesota snow to see a one-sided contest?

by The Mexican't on Nov 27, 2010 12:05 PM CST up reply actions  

There is an effect nevertheless

Iowa today is playing for reasons they have not played for in, well, years really. Today is pure football. I am interesting in seeing how this plays out. Less than 20 degrees, against an overmatched opponent, with nothing obvious on the line. Just trying to protect a pig and their egos.

"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.

by StoopsMyAss on Nov 27, 2010 12:10 PM CST up reply actions  

I don't know why any bowls would be there to scout Iowa anyway.

The schools have to INVITE the bowls to come watch…would they really invite the bowl guys to a shitty away game to check out Iowa? I’m sure any bowls that were invited came to the tOSU game.

by LoveItOrLeaveIt on Nov 27, 2010 1:41 PM CST up reply actions  

I concur

"Conan, what is best in life?" "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women"

by Natty Bumppo's Murderous Gaze on Nov 27, 2010 12:47 PM CST up reply actions  

Ah, the hyper masculine approach

Duly noted sir.

"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.

by StoopsMyAss on Nov 27, 2010 12:54 PM CST up reply actions  

Football triggers my Neanderthal gene

Like a monkey in a lab pushing a button for orgasmic response.

by Torbee on Nov 27, 2010 1:21 PM CST up reply actions  

I have blown a fuse

In my “caring about football” circuit.

by Roosevelt on Nov 27, 2010 1:21 PM CST up reply actions  

If the multiverse exists ...

there may be a reality where this is THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. GAME. EVER.

Also, there may be a reality where cats bark and dogs meow.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Nov 27, 2010 1:19 PM CST reply actions  

As an addendum to this ...

OSU and its fanbase is a collection of D-Bags in every possible reality.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Nov 27, 2010 1:22 PM CST up reply actions   2 recs

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