FanPost

Invasions: A primer/open thread

  So you're planning on invading Minneapolis like a poorly-mannered Mongolian Hoarde.  Congratulations!  Confucius said that a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single drunken stagger, or something close to that, anyway.  Since I have accepted Minnesota's inevitable fate (You using the whole fist, Kirk?) I've decided to be what all Minnesotans are: a good, but passive-aggressive, host.  With the move to TCF Bank Stadium last year some of the details have changed, so consider this a resource for not getting your car towed by the assholes from campus police or the city of Minneapolis.

Tickets: They're out there.  You know how to get them, I'm sure.  Layaway is still not available. DO NOT BUY STUDENT TICKETS!  Sections 119 to 131 on the lower level and 220 to 230 on the upper level (with exceptions in the higher rows of the stadium) are student tickets, and you need a student ID to get into the stadium.

Parking: Here's where it starts getting a little tricky.  If you don't have a parking pass (and are unwilling to offer the internal organ that is currently the asking price for one) near the stadium, you'll have a few choices a little ways away.  There are two ramps on the West Bank of campus that offer parking spots, and more parking spots and  tailgating is available at the state fairgrounds in Falcon Heights.  Both of these choices offer a shuttle to and from the stadium, but I believe the shuttle only runs for an hour after the game.  I also believe that both options are $10 (I know the ramps are).  There are also some ramps toward Nordeast, but I am unfamiliar with them and their gameday procedures.  There is some street parking to the east of the stadium on University Avenue, but I would strongly recommend against it.  The city has been using street parking as a revenue stream for both themselves and tow truck companies if you do any little thing wrong. The other thing to remember is that light rail goes nowhere near the new stadium, so you won't be able to park at the Mall of America at ride up unless you want to hike a couple miles or take a taxi from downtown.

Link: Parking & Transportation

Bars: Now that we're back on campus, there are a few places that will be more than happy to give you beer in exchange for money. In Stadium Village Sallys and Stub & Herbs are usually pretty packed.  Campus Pizza is my watering hole, and it's a short stumble from both of the others as well as the Stadium.  There's also an Applebees nearby, but if you go there you should be ashamed of yourself.  There are also a number of bars in Dinkytown, like the Library, Downtime, and Blarney's.  If you're going to be near downtown, I understand the Minneapolis Eagle is the official Iowa Hawkeye Bar for the area*.y

Stadium Entry: It's gotten better than last year.  Alcohol is not allowed or served.  Last year they gave every person who entered the stadium a full TSA body scan (with no option for an opt-out).  This year they're just eyeballing everyone, and patting down people who appear to be drunk.  Backpacks are not allowed into the stadium, but those environmentally-friendly grocery bags are (and they will be searched).

This was just a short primer.  If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask and I'll try to answer them.  While I hate you assholes invading my state, I'd rather not have anyone get arrested or their car towed if possible.  And I know at least two bar owners who could really use your help.  And parking money will go toward paying our next head coach, who will clearly lead us back to the promised land this time. 

*JESUS CHRIST DO NOT GO TO THE MINNEAPOLIS EAGLE!

Edit: I realize you are all Midwesterners too, but the high for next Saturday is supposed to be 27.  Make sure to bring layers.  A good chunk of the stadium on the home side (sections 145/246 to 133/233 are in the shade and get damn cold).

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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