POLL: Bring Us Your Iowa-Northwestern Fears
by RossWB on Nov 11, 2010 11:00 AM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes Football
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Last week, you were most scared of The Ghost of James Hardy, the letdown factor, and the return of the STANZIBALL and, uh, it turns out you were kinda right. Damarlo Belcher did a pretty convincing Hardy impression right up until his fateful -- and fortuitous -- drop. Iowa certainly was far less sharp than they were a week ago in drilling Michigan State. And the STANZIBALL kinda-sorta made its return on one of the worst passes Stanzi's thrown all year (although the receiver also ran the wrong route on the play, so it wasn't totally Stanzi's fault). So, uh, congratulations, I guess, on being right-ish?
In any event, this week brings us our dastardly Armani-wearing Ferrari enthusiasts-cum-occasional football fans and there's no shortage of things to be scared about when just Northwestern is involved. You can fret about which offensive player will suffer a game-ending injury (watch your ligaments, boys!), whether Iowa's already often-shaky special teams will commit a blunder or three against jNW (as they usually do), whether jNW's precision short-passing game will slice up Iowa's pass defense, or whether some random cosmic mishap will befall Iowa yet again as they play Northwestern. Like I said, you could fret about that... but we're not going to here. We're going to worry ourselves sick about other stuff in this poll.
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No time right now to figure out
AJN…. but I’m sure it involves anger, plus bizarre, improbable and illogical events, which (except 2006) is the only way we have lost to jNW.
In Norm we trust.
I voted for the one that I haven't figured out yet
except for the JNW at the end.
However, if given the option, I would have voted for “All of the above”
by HeroPatriotStanzi on Nov 11, 2010 11:11 AM CST reply actions
I almost went with Dennis Green
until I realized it said “asses to crown” and not “asses to clown”.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
All of the above
Sorry, but no way we can win this game. I don’t even know why we bother showing up for the jNW game. And of course, starting next year, we’ll see these fuckers every year during the regular season, no?
As long as we play jNW in a season, Iowa will NEVER go undefeated. Ever.
AJNWFGWHIOSPAITWIPJNW
Hmmm – I think you bet wrong, cause I can’t. I’m pretty close though.
Angry
Just
North
Western
Favoring
God
Who
Helps
Injure
Our
Star
Players
And
I
T
When
Iowa
Plays
Just
North
Western
for "I" and "T"
Implements Torture?
by HeroPatriotStanzi on Nov 11, 2010 11:45 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Very close.
Angry
Just
North
Western
Favoring
God
Who
Hates
Iowa’s
Offensive
Skill
Players
And
Injures
Them
When
Iowa
Plays
Just
North
Western
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Man, jNW even has better hate gods than Iowa. I hate them...
…which translate to I envy their intelligence and earning potential.
Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them to stay alive.
Obligatory Northwestern fan correction
I believe the correct form is
Angry
Just
North
Uestern
Favoring
God
Who
Hates
Iowa’s
Offensive
Skill
Players
And
Injures
Them
When
Iowa
Plays
Just
North
Uestern
Enchanted McRib
Thank you. I’m not sure Fitz would have come up with an Enchanted McRib on his own. Truly a perfect weapon — adding wizard spells to a magical food object that, like Haley’s Comet, only appears on rare occasions.
Now that you’ve theorized about it, though, you’ve effectively assured Iowa’s destruction.
It figures that jNW football fans would be fans of something as cult-like as the McRib.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Can somebody please maybe add Fitz lurking in the background to this?
Or maybe BeyondPhotoshop™ him in place of the nose-picking teen?
Eh, whatever.
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Nov 11, 2010 3:05 PM CST up reply actions
It has GOT to be BHGP presence
I just have trouble believing that Iowa can lose to jNW just because. I have to blame someone, and it CAN’T be for anything that I may have done to anger the gods.
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
And we let ’em off the hook!
"Play it, Sam. Play 'As McGloin Goes By.'"
Beat Ohio State.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 11, 2010 11:59 AM CST reply actions
Pat Fitzgerald is a Sith!
…but they always travel in pairs: master and apprentice. Who might the apprentice be?
That is easy
Barnett was the master, Fitz the apprentice.
by H I McDonnough on Nov 11, 2010 2:43 PM CST up reply actions
They are in my head so fucking bad . . .
I actually halfway believe they blew the second half against Penn State on purpose just to lull Iowa into a false sense of security.
I know that’s completely, insanely irrational.
OR IS IT?!!?!?!?!?!?
Naked bootlegging! (No, not the DUKES OF HAZZARD porno.)
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Chubby kid on the left looks like a member of the Junior Ghostbusters or something.
So just shut your face and take a seat, 'cause after all, you're just talking meat.
by Bucketochicken on Nov 11, 2010 3:22 PM CST up reply actions
Making America safe for quality beers!
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Nov 11, 2010 7:34 PM CST up reply actions
My vote is with Basanez...
…although the ghost of C.J. Bacher (aka, K.D. Lang) would have also been acceptable.
The 2005 loss still pisses me off a ton.
And I put a lot of that on Basanez.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
It's gotta be the sith thing
Although my actual fear is the weather. Windy does not help Stanzi. The rain shouldn’t hurt us too bad
It never gets to be easy
That's one reason I'm looking forward to Vandenberg next year
He looks like he has a much stronger arm than Ricky… I know he doesn’t have the experience but I don’t think we are going to hurt at bad at QB than some people think.
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
by The Bird Cult on Nov 11, 2010 11:56 PM CST up reply actions
It doesn't hurt that he'll have what could be a very good line in front of him,
No running backs though, none at all, really nothing to look forward to at that position next year (looks over shoulder for AIRBHG). Even losing DJK, Reisner, and Sandeman, he should have very good receiving options all around.
Not JUST naked bootlegging...
Naked Bootlegging in the End Zone. The play requires space bigger than a coffin to, you know, boot leg.
"Just win, baby!"--Mahatma Ghandi
No caption for the Fitz photo?
“Her ass was this big! Purtiest mule I ever seen!”
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Nov 11, 2010 7:33 PM CST reply actions
Naked Bootlegging
Friends dont let friends naked bootleg
Your killing me Smalls.
by Carfino's revenge on Nov 12, 2010 8:38 AM CST reply actions
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