God, does today suck or what?

Iowa does not play Saturday, and that leaves me with a cold pit of sadness in my heart. I'm not kidding. Football, Iowa football especially, is like having Christmas 12 days a year ~ 13 days if you're a good little boy. You never know what you get ~ sometimes you get a lump of coal ~ but you can't wait to find out. 

There's other football, you say? True. But it's just not the same. My high school team is an automatic 8 or 9 wins a year. At this point, the only questions are how many teams the boys will pummel by the 35-point rule and how far they can make it in the playoffs (Four, so far, and state semifinals, I'd say, in case you were interested). I love the NFL, but NFL seasons are endured more than they are enjoyed. You fret about injuries, suspensions, terrible officiating, your QB texting dong pictures to Jenn Sterger ~ the list goes on an on. It's almost like an abusive relationship with the sexiest woman in the world (No. That's not a cigarette burn on my inner thigh. Why do you ask?).

Watch other teams? Sure, for a while, but for some reason my attention wanders when Stanzi and Co aren't involved. And to be honest, Mrs. No Pants doesn't tolerate much sports watching that doesn't involve my teams. I've got, like, eight favorite teams in various sports and none of them are playing Saturday. So what's a guy to do? Help me out.