PURDUE HATE WEEK: Purdue-Iowa Rivalry Trophy Candidates
(Well, in honor of PURDUE HATE WEEK we kind of need to front page this. -- Ross)
Pictured: The Land of Lincoln Trophy (est.) via www.laprogressive.com
A year after the Illinois-Northwestern rivalry was rechristened the "Land of Lincoln Trophy", another effort has been growing in the Big Ten to properly honor America's Grandest Rivalry: Iowa-Purdue. The Presidents, Board of Trustees, Athletic Directors, and local boosters have gathered in the states of Iowa and Purdue to explore opportunities to celebrate this storied tradition.
Below are some of the candidates:
The Battle for the '70s Ranchera Album. Like many rivalries, this involved the music departments of both schools. The story goes that in 1983 Iowa bandmembers secretly snuck into the Boilermakers' band closet, and walked away with a varied assortment of oboe repair parts, Jane Fonda tapes, and '70s ranchera albums. Several of the stolen items, including most ranchera albums were returned years later, but the two teams square off to commemorate this daring heist.
The Bacon AK-47. A more recent entry in this legendary rivalry, the bacon AK-47 honors both state's pork industries, while offering an incredible dilemma for the Taliban.
The Ugly Purdue Shirt. In the style of the Purdue Cannon, the rivalry trophy between Purdue and Illinois, the Ugly Purdue Shirt provides a Purdue-centric icon as a basis for heated disdain on one side, institutional pride on the other.
The Old French Bastard. Encased in bronze, the OFB's roots can be traced to the early 1800s, when the states of Purdue and Iowa were discovered by an old French bastard. This curmudgeonly relic was forged using Iowa copper and Purdue tin, and was modeled off sports writing great and avowed French Huguenot Frank DeFord.
The directors of athletics at both institutions are excited to introduce a new series rivalry prize. Said Morgan Burke, Purdue's director of athletics and recreation. "Iowa versus Purdue is always a highly anticipated football game for our student-athletes and fans. The trophy series is symbolic for our great states and the two proud Big Ten institutions that something something something. I eagerly anticipate the results of this vote!"
Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.
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Here's the base for any other alternative rivalry trophies you may concoct.

@jschnauzer
Bloggin' at joepasdoghouse.com
The Old French Bastard is intriguing, but can one say no to the Bacon AK-47?
No, one cannot.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I voted for the OFB due simply to the Frank DeFord reference...
….Frank DeFord who, as you point out, cannot say no to a bacon AK-47.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 8, 2010 3:35 PM CDT up reply actions
I think instead of trying to win the trophy
the losing team should be forced to take the Ugly Purdue Shirt and display it in their athletics Hall of Fame for the entire year
by HeroPatriotStanzi on Oct 8, 2010 10:42 AM CDT reply actions
You know, the threat of public shame is an underutilized idea in rivalry trophies.
I like it.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Isn't that what the Land Grant trophy about?
The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. Bill Nye (yeah, the science guy)
That shirt is really fucking ugly - and I'm off to Disneyland for the next few days
Its so bad that if you made a cycling jersey out of it – and bicyclists will wear some pretty garish shit (I have my fair share of fugly jerseys meself) – I’ll bet there’s no way they’d wear it.
BTW, I’m going to miss you guys and gals – but, I’m driving down to LA tomorrow, my kids are flying in from CT for their first visit to Disneyland (B/G 10/8) and I’m going to be too busy trying to not hurl on the roller coasters to post on BHGP (I’m leaving the computer home). Enjoy the rest of HPW! :D
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
by The Bird Cult on Oct 9, 2010 1:07 AM CDT up reply actions
Off to LA tra la la la
Have a good week everyone. See you on the other side.
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
by The Bird Cult on Oct 9, 2010 9:31 AM CDT up reply actions
Had to go
with the Ba-K 47
THE MOON WALK WAS A HOAX. YOUR POPCORN IS SHIT. JOLLY TIME FOREVER. FUCK PURDUE-RossWB
by Pain in the Sash on Oct 8, 2010 11:14 AM CDT reply actions
Ba-K 47
CUZ SCREW TERRORISTS!
on a related note, we should get bacon dual elites regardless of outcome…
/bacon counterstrike’d
fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07
by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 8, 2010 11:25 AM CDT reply actions
How can you vote against pork and the Greatest Firearm Ever Created?
Can’t!
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
That's horsecrap.
The AK-47 is not the greatest firearm ever created. It’s just the most widely available weapon ever produced. I refuse to believe that something with a design fault as simple as “Well, we knew the sights were crappy, but whatevs.” is the greatest firearm ever created. I honestly think it’s not even the best Russian firearm ever created. The Russkies did a pretty good job with the Mosin-Nagant. Simple, easy to produce, easy to maintain, accurate, and easy to improve.
"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 1:41 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm no expert on firearms.
Is that an automatic rifle?
Personally, I prefer sniper rifles and this bad boy.

Courtesy of snipercentral.com
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Oct 8, 2010 1:52 PM CDT up reply actions
Barret .50 is a Beast
It is the Mike Daniels of the rifle world
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
It is the best firearm ever created.
If I had to go and be a force-multiplier in a country and show someone to use a firearm it would be the AK-47 or AK-74 (which is an updated version used by Spetnaz). Mosin is a fantastic rifle and I have one somewhere back in IA, but the ease of use and other factors, AK is the best. Given the choice now of ANY weapon I may choose others like the MP7 as a PDW or maybe the FHN Special Ops Combat Rifle. But throughout history and age AK stacks up.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
What other factors besides ease of use?
"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 2:24 PM CDT up reply actions
Durability is top-notch
Range and accuracy are pretty good. They are so easy to modify for different operations and situations (that is what is awesome about the new SCAR). The sights aren’t the best, as you correctly say. The fact that they were produced so long ago and are still used with efficacy today is something. The AK-74 is a pretty nice weapon, different ammo though. If I had to pick one weapon to use, it probably wouldn’t be the AK; there are too many new weapons that are just sick. But, in the pantheon of weapons, none has changed more lives than the AK.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
For a second I thought I was on a military channel blog...
I’ll take my M14 or M1 Garand. Range, punch, accuracy, reliability are there. Just a tad heavy.
I once fired a Super-Soaker.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 8, 2010 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions
Super-Soaker is a very effective weapon.
And the recoil is about the same as a .22
"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 5:04 PM CDT up reply actions
I don't walk into a firefight
without my SS50

by IDontUnderStanzi on Oct 8, 2010 5:07 PM CDT up reply actions
i dual weilded these - it was so hard to pump
but usually it didnt matter, everyone else was already out.
fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07
by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 9, 2010 12:40 AM CDT up reply actions
my nephew has that gun!
excellent idea, we can use it to shoot it at that big as purdue drum!
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Thank you.
The only durability issues I’ve heard of regarding the M1 Garand came from the frozen wastes of mountainous North Korea in 1950/51 and I’ll give the “Greatest battle implement ever devised” the benefit of the doubt.
"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 5:03 PM CDT up reply actions
Got one of those too and the carbine both awesome. Kick like a mule, just like a Supersoaker.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
But isn't the AK...
known for jamming up when you get any dust or dirt near it?
Would the bacon grease be a hinderence, or just help grease it up properly?
So, I vote for Old French Bastard. It would be the greatest rivalry trophy not named Floyd.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Oct 8, 2010 11:26 PM CDT up reply actions
The AK wasn't known for jamming
but the early versions of the M-16 were. Which raises serious issues when you’re fighting in the jungles of Vietnam
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
You can't make an AK jam in you try...almost.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
The Ak 47? Jamming with slight dust?
No, not at all. That’s like saying Shonn Greene is known for going down at the slightest contact from Frank Duong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajjMBBRTd68
"I do not have enough energy to scream, so I will sit here until this is over or until the middle of the 4th quarter when I will leave so I can miss traffic."
by ReadingRambler on Oct 10, 2010 10:01 AM CDT up reply actions
The critical issue is that it doesn't jam when firing bacon.
One of the most reliable performances regardless of the cut or quality of bacon. Give a little credit to the Soviets on that one.
@jschnauzer
Bloggin' at joepasdoghouse.com
Horse....anything was a strong term though in this case and I apologize for it.
I wasn’t thinking when I wrote that.
"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 2:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Maybe not horse hockey.
That sounds like fun!
"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 2:25 PM CDT up reply actions
I would pay to see horse hockey
Imagine all those legs splayed everywhich direction. Big bottle of vodka and that is a good evening.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
We've seen Bear Hockey on this very site.
Horses would be less cuddley and more funny though.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 8, 2010 3:40 PM CDT up reply actions
I HAVE paid to see horse hockey.
It was in Tijuana…and was not what I thought it would be…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 8, 2010 4:34 PM CDT up reply actions
LESS lube?
This wasn’t one of those reputable establishments.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 9, 2010 8:18 AM CDT up reply actions
Was it the place on Calle Ocho and La Plaza?
Rico’s House of WHorse
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
ive got a sweet nagant
m44… 7.64×54 = nice boom stick. but seriously, give me a pre ’64 winchester model 70 in just about any caliber… military arms are ok, but rarely are they actually pretty… i would also argue that perhaps the remington 870 is the greatest gun ever simply because of its versatility in civilian, sporting, and military purposes… just sayin?
fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07
by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 9, 2010 12:49 AM CDT up reply actions
I used to have an M44 as well. With the fold down "screwdriver" bayonette
I had an M91, Mosin, all sorts of shit that came out of old military store houses in Korea and the Eastern Block. Packed in cosmoline and some had notes in German under the buttplate from the soldiers who used them. Pretty freekin sweet.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
Kinda scary how cheap they are.
Just a simple google search gave me this:
http://forums.gunboards.com/showthread.php?141333-Century-Arms-has-91-30-Mosin-Nagants-for-30-50
Best was two Hungarian 91/30’s black with coal dust that cleaned up very well, their defect was both had missing front sights, and they had arabic writing on the stocks, and two of the Russian ones also had bullets stuck in the barrels!
"I do not have enough energy to scream, so I will sit here until this is over or until the middle of the 4th quarter when I will leave so I can miss traffic."
by ReadingRambler on Oct 10, 2010 10:06 AM CDT up reply actions
Hmm...
I still want the “Battle for the Golden ACL” trophy…

I'm pretty sure the AIRBHG would see to it
that Iowa never won that trophy, at least not in one piece.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Based on this year, he has no love for the B**l*rm*k*rs, either.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Thank you for censoring yourself.
I wouldn’t have been able to read that if you’d written it out.
It was bad enough that Rambler said crap. I’m still washing my eyes out with dish soap.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 8, 2010 3:41 PM CDT up reply actions
Pardon the crappy quality.
BATTLE FOR FRY’S MOUSTACHE AND TILLER’S MOUSTACHE

"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 1:42 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
It's like the 1980's equivalent of scalping
with Magnum P.I. and Mr. Belvedere as the victims.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 8, 2010 4:36 PM CDT up reply actions
remove purdue
& replace it with “participant”
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
You mean a mountain lion and Greek warrior fighting over a block of wood?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 8, 2010 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions
I mean
anything that doesn’t look like it was constructed from the scraps left over at the end of the year in a middle school wood shop class. Although, a greek warrior fighting a lion would be pretty damn cool.
We both seem to like percussion instruments.
They have the largest drum. We have the largest triangle. Let’s play for the right to have two of the three largest percussion instruments:
The World’s Largest Cowbell.

by KinnickNorthHawk on Oct 8, 2010 7:26 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
You don't know how lucky we are
Mssr. Debranelemely, who was the Beethoven of Expansion (symphony no. 12 impressimissimo !!) pulled a gigantic boner in picking the twirling drum as our rival. The Cornholers to end the season is awesome, but to make Wiscy wander the universe without an annual Hawkeye whooping in unconscionable. Much like corn without butter, tan without tanlines, or scantily clad nubile maidens wandering the universe with nothing to eat but Rotel,,, and even though his wdisomlessness has anointed the big bang as our hated rivalry,,, I do go to sleep each night thanking god that he chose not the Medill School of Journalism Wildcritters,,, regardless of my fond memories of a wonderful interlude with same coed on the beach in Evanston (and indeed she played Nurse Nellie in her HS producton of South Pacific – or so she claimed) it WAS November, it was cold, and for some reason she became a nun after that (or tried to so her roomate told me). So off we go to West Lafayetee and the Tick Tock Motel (another interlude with someone staking claim to a high school role in a less than memorable Gilbert and Sullivan) I think we really need to play for a deep fat fried pitchfork. I can’t help it I am surrounded by luckeye fans.
Greg Marmalard: But Delta's already on probation.
Dean Vernon Wormer: They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!
Animal House, 1978
Is the Bacon AK-47 MADE out of bacon or SHOOTS bacon?
We ain't making no goddamn cornflakes here."
- Col. Charlie Beckwith, founder of Delta Force
Is the Bacon AK-47 MADE of bacon or does it SHOOT bacon?
Because, if it shoots bacon, the nomenclature would be better served, M3 Bacon Submachine Gun.
We ain't making no goddamn cornflakes here."
- Col. Charlie Beckwith, founder of Delta Force
BACON (and Facebook)

Facebook really has nothing to do with bacon… but I was wondering how many BHGPers are on FB… I need to increase my Friends Pool…
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
How Is Iowa These Days?
Greetings from a Black and Gold dude on the West Coast. Since when is Purdue such a huge game (Ohio State, Michigan?). For my money, take the M-16 for reliability (maintainance), but would love to try the Gerand some day. ’Nuff said with the previous post wrt Korea (1950-1953).
“… So I got that going for me, which is nice.”

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