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PURDUE HATE WEEK: Purdue-Iowa Rivalry Trophy Candidates

(Well, in honor of PURDUE HATE WEEK we kind of need to front page this. -- Ross)

Lincoln-continental_medium

Pictured: The Land of Lincoln Trophy (est.) via www.laprogressive.com

 

A year after the Illinois-Northwestern rivalry was rechristened the "Land of Lincoln Trophy", another effort has been growing in the Big Ten to properly honor America's Grandest Rivalry: Iowa-Purdue.  The Presidents, Board of Trustees, Athletic Directors, and local boosters have gathered in the states of Iowa and Purdue to explore opportunities to celebrate this storied tradition.

Below are some of the candidates:

Star-divide

70s-ranchera_medium

The Battle for the '70s Ranchera Album.  Like many rivalries, this involved the music departments of both schools.  The story goes that in 1983 Iowa bandmembers secretly snuck into the Boilermakers' band closet, and walked away with a varied assortment of oboe repair parts, Jane Fonda tapes, and '70s ranchera albums.  Several of the stolen items, including most ranchera albums were returned years later, but the two teams square off to commemorate this daring heist.

 

Bacon-ak47_medium

The Bacon AK-47.  A more recent entry in this legendary rivalry, the bacon AK-47 honors both state's pork industries, while offering an incredible dilemma for the Taliban.

 

Ugly-purdue-shirt_medium

The Ugly Purdue Shirt.  In the style of the Purdue Cannon, the rivalry trophy between Purdue and Illinois, the Ugly Purdue Shirt provides a Purdue-centric icon as a basis for heated disdain on one side, institutional pride on the other.

 

Ofb_medium

The Old French Bastard.  Encased in bronze, the OFB's roots can be traced to the early 1800s, when the states of Purdue and Iowa were discovered by an old French bastard.  This curmudgeonly relic was forged using Iowa copper and Purdue tin, and was modeled off sports writing great and avowed French Huguenot Frank DeFord.

 

The directors of athletics at both institutions are excited to introduce a new series rivalry prize.  Said Morgan Burke, Purdue's director of athletics and recreation. "Iowa versus Purdue is always a highly anticipated football game for our student-athletes and fans. The trophy series is symbolic for our great states and the two proud Big Ten institutions that something something something. I eagerly anticipate the results of this vote!"

Poll
What say you?
The Battle for the '70s Ranchera Album.
27 votes
The Bacon AK-47.
94 votes
The Ugly Purdue Shirt.
17 votes
The Old French Bastard.
79 votes
Back to the drawing board.
118 votes

335 votes | Poll has closed

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

Comment 61 comments  |  2 recs  | 

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The Old French Bastard is intriguing, but can one say no to the Bacon AK-47?

No, one cannot.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Oct 8, 2010 10:07 AM CDT reply actions  

Pollified.

@jschnauzer
Bloggin' at joepasdoghouse.com

by Cairo on Oct 8, 2010 10:18 AM CDT up reply actions  

I voted for the OFB due simply to the Frank DeFord reference...

….Frank DeFord who, as you point out, cannot say no to a bacon AK-47.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 8, 2010 3:35 PM CDT up reply actions  

I think instead of trying to win the trophy

the losing team should be forced to take the Ugly Purdue Shirt and display it in their athletics Hall of Fame for the entire year

by HeroPatriotStanzi on Oct 8, 2010 10:42 AM CDT reply actions  

You know, the threat of public shame is an underutilized idea in rivalry trophies.

I like it.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Oct 8, 2010 10:50 AM CDT up reply actions  

Isn't that what the Land Grant trophy about?

The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. Bill Nye (yeah, the science guy)

by tiggerhawk on Oct 8, 2010 9:19 PM CDT up reply actions  

That shirt is really fucking ugly - and I'm off to Disneyland for the next few days

Its so bad that if you made a cycling jersey out of it – and bicyclists will wear some pretty garish shit (I have my fair share of fugly jerseys meself) – I’ll bet there’s no way they’d wear it.

BTW, I’m going to miss you guys and gals – but, I’m driving down to LA tomorrow, my kids are flying in from CT for their first visit to Disneyland (B/G 10/8) and I’m going to be too busy trying to not hurl on the roller coasters to post on BHGP (I’m leaving the computer home). Enjoy the rest of HPW! :D

Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!

by The Bird Cult on Oct 9, 2010 1:07 AM CDT up reply actions  

Off to LA tra la la la

Have a good week everyone. See you on the other side.

Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!

by The Bird Cult on Oct 9, 2010 9:31 AM CDT up reply actions  

Had to go

with the Ba-K 47

THE MOON WALK WAS A HOAX. YOUR POPCORN IS SHIT. JOLLY TIME FOREVER. FUCK PURDUE-RossWB

by Pain in the Sash on Oct 8, 2010 11:14 AM CDT reply actions  

Ba-K 47

CUZ SCREW TERRORISTS!
on a related note, we should get bacon dual elites regardless of outcome…

/bacon counterstrike’d

fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07

by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 8, 2010 11:25 AM CDT reply actions  

How can you vote against pork and the Greatest Firearm Ever Created?

Can’t!

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 8, 2010 11:26 AM CDT reply actions  

That's horsecrap.

The AK-47 is not the greatest firearm ever created. It’s just the most widely available weapon ever produced. I refuse to believe that something with a design fault as simple as “Well, we knew the sights were crappy, but whatevs.” is the greatest firearm ever created. I honestly think it’s not even the best Russian firearm ever created. The Russkies did a pretty good job with the Mosin-Nagant. Simple, easy to produce, easy to maintain, accurate, and easy to improve.

"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno

by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 1:41 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm no expert on firearms.

Is that an automatic rifle?

Personally, I prefer sniper rifles and this bad boy.


Courtesy of snipercentral.com

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Oct 8, 2010 1:52 PM CDT up reply actions  

Barret .50 is a Beast

It is the Mike Daniels of the rifle world

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 8, 2010 2:12 PM CDT up reply actions  

It is the best firearm ever created.

If I had to go and be a force-multiplier in a country and show someone to use a firearm it would be the AK-47 or AK-74 (which is an updated version used by Spetnaz). Mosin is a fantastic rifle and I have one somewhere back in IA, but the ease of use and other factors, AK is the best. Given the choice now of ANY weapon I may choose others like the MP7 as a PDW or maybe the FHN Special Ops Combat Rifle. But throughout history and age AK stacks up.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 8, 2010 2:11 PM CDT up reply actions  

What other factors besides ease of use?

"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno

by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 2:24 PM CDT up reply actions  

Durability is top-notch

Range and accuracy are pretty good. They are so easy to modify for different operations and situations (that is what is awesome about the new SCAR). The sights aren’t the best, as you correctly say. The fact that they were produced so long ago and are still used with efficacy today is something. The AK-74 is a pretty nice weapon, different ammo though. If I had to pick one weapon to use, it probably wouldn’t be the AK; there are too many new weapons that are just sick. But, in the pantheon of weapons, none has changed more lives than the AK.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 8, 2010 3:01 PM CDT up reply actions  

For a second I thought I was on a military channel blog...

I’ll take my M14 or M1 Garand. Range, punch, accuracy, reliability are there. Just a tad heavy.

by Grixxly on Oct 8, 2010 4:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

I once fired a Super-Soaker.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 8, 2010 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

Super-Soaker is a very effective weapon.

And the recoil is about the same as a .22

"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno

by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 5:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

i dual weilded these - it was so hard to pump

but usually it didnt matter, everyone else was already out.

fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07

by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 9, 2010 12:40 AM CDT up reply actions  

my nephew has that gun!

excellent idea, we can use it to shoot it at that big as purdue drum!

this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.

by pfac51 on Oct 9, 2010 8:02 AM CDT up reply actions  

Thank you.

The only durability issues I’ve heard of regarding the M1 Garand came from the frozen wastes of mountainous North Korea in 1950/51 and I’ll give the “Greatest battle implement ever devised” the benefit of the doubt.

"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno

by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 5:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

It won WWII

And I’m sure Stanzi approves!

by Grixxly on Oct 8, 2010 6:46 PM CDT up reply actions  

But isn't the AK...

known for jamming up when you get any dust or dirt near it?

Would the bacon grease be a hinderence, or just help grease it up properly?

So, I vote for Old French Bastard. It would be the greatest rivalry trophy not named Floyd.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Oct 8, 2010 11:26 PM CDT up reply actions  

The AK wasn't known for jamming

but the early versions of the M-16 were. Which raises serious issues when you’re fighting in the jungles of Vietnam

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 9, 2010 5:12 AM CDT up reply actions  

You can't make an AK jam in you try...almost.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 9, 2010 1:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

The Ak 47? Jamming with slight dust?

No, not at all. That’s like saying Shonn Greene is known for going down at the slightest contact from Frank Duong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajjMBBRTd68

"I do not have enough energy to scream, so I will sit here until this is over or until the middle of the 4th quarter when I will leave so I can miss traffic."

by ReadingRambler on Oct 10, 2010 10:01 AM CDT up reply actions  

The critical issue is that it doesn't jam when firing bacon.

One of the most reliable performances regardless of the cut or quality of bacon. Give a little credit to the Soviets on that one.

@jschnauzer
Bloggin' at joepasdoghouse.com

by Cairo on Oct 11, 2010 7:47 AM CDT up reply actions  

Horse....anything was a strong term though in this case and I apologize for it.

I wasn’t thinking when I wrote that.

"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno

by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 2:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

Maybe not horse hockey.

That sounds like fun!

"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno

by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 2:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

I would pay to see horse hockey

Imagine all those legs splayed everywhich direction. Big bottle of vodka and that is a good evening.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 8, 2010 3:02 PM CDT up reply actions  

We've seen Bear Hockey on this very site.

Horses would be less cuddley and more funny though.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 8, 2010 3:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

I HAVE paid to see horse hockey.

It was in Tijuana…and was not what I thought it would be…

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 8, 2010 4:34 PM CDT up reply actions  

This would have more ice, and less lube

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 8, 2010 10:49 PM CDT up reply actions  

LESS lube?

This wasn’t one of those reputable establishments.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 9, 2010 8:18 AM CDT up reply actions  

Was it the place on Calle Ocho and La Plaza?

Rico’s House of WHorse

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 9, 2010 1:10 PM CDT up reply actions  

ive got a sweet nagant

m44… 7.64×54 = nice boom stick. but seriously, give me a pre ’64 winchester model 70 in just about any caliber… military arms are ok, but rarely are they actually pretty… i would also argue that perhaps the remington 870 is the greatest gun ever simply because of its versatility in civilian, sporting, and military purposes… just sayin?

fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07

by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 9, 2010 12:49 AM CDT up reply actions  

I used to have an M44 as well. With the fold down "screwdriver" bayonette

I had an M91, Mosin, all sorts of shit that came out of old military store houses in Korea and the Eastern Block. Packed in cosmoline and some had notes in German under the buttplate from the soldiers who used them. Pretty freekin sweet.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Oct 9, 2010 1:13 PM CDT up reply actions  

Kinda scary how cheap they are.

Just a simple google search gave me this:

http://forums.gunboards.com/showthread.php?141333-Century-Arms-has-91-30-Mosin-Nagants-for-30-50

Best was two Hungarian 91/30’s black with coal dust that cleaned up very well, their defect was both had missing front sights, and they had arabic writing on the stocks, and two of the Russian ones also had bullets stuck in the barrels!

"I do not have enough energy to scream, so I will sit here until this is over or until the middle of the 4th quarter when I will leave so I can miss traffic."

by ReadingRambler on Oct 10, 2010 10:06 AM CDT up reply actions  

Hmm...

I still want the “Battle for the Golden ACL” trophy…

by edr247 on Oct 8, 2010 12:08 PM CDT reply actions  

I'm pretty sure the AIRBHG would see to it

that Iowa never won that trophy, at least not in one piece.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 8, 2010 1:43 PM CDT up reply actions  

Based on this year, he has no love for the B**l*rm*k*rs, either.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Oct 8, 2010 1:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

Thank you for censoring yourself.

I wouldn’t have been able to read that if you’d written it out.
It was bad enough that Rambler said crap. I’m still washing my eyes out with dish soap.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 8, 2010 3:41 PM CDT up reply actions  

Pardon the crappy quality.

BATTLE FOR FRY’S MOUSTACHE AND TILLER’S MOUSTACHE

"We just ran out of time." [sly smile] - Joe Paterno

by ReadingRambler on Oct 8, 2010 1:42 PM CDT reply actions   1 recs

It's like the 1980's equivalent of scalping

with Magnum P.I. and Mr. Belvedere as the victims.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 8, 2010 4:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

remove purdue

& replace it with “participant”

this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.

by pfac51 on Oct 9, 2010 8:03 AM CDT up reply actions  

How about

We look to the Land Grant trophy for inspiration, then make it’s complete inverse.

by brock_tune on Oct 8, 2010 4:30 PM CDT reply actions  

I mean

anything that doesn’t look like it was constructed from the scraps left over at the end of the year in a middle school wood shop class. Although, a greek warrior fighting a lion would be pretty damn cool.

by brock_tune on Oct 8, 2010 6:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

We both seem to like percussion instruments.

They have the largest drum. We have the largest triangle. Let’s play for the right to have two of the three largest percussion instruments:

The World’s Largest Cowbell.

by KinnickNorthHawk on Oct 8, 2010 7:26 PM CDT reply actions   2 recs

You don't know how lucky we are

Mssr. Debranelemely, who was the Beethoven of Expansion (symphony no. 12 impressimissimo !!) pulled a gigantic boner in picking the twirling drum as our rival. The Cornholers to end the season is awesome, but to make Wiscy wander the universe without an annual Hawkeye whooping in unconscionable. Much like corn without butter, tan without tanlines, or scantily clad nubile maidens wandering the universe with nothing to eat but Rotel,,, and even though his wdisomlessness has anointed the big bang as our hated rivalry,,, I do go to sleep each night thanking god that he chose not the Medill School of Journalism Wildcritters,,, regardless of my fond memories of a wonderful interlude with same coed on the beach in Evanston (and indeed she played Nurse Nellie in her HS producton of South Pacific – or so she claimed) it WAS November, it was cold, and for some reason she became a nun after that (or tried to so her roomate told me). So off we go to West Lafayetee and the Tick Tock Motel (another interlude with someone staking claim to a high school role in a less than memorable Gilbert and Sullivan) I think we really need to play for a deep fat fried pitchfork. I can’t help it I am surrounded by luckeye fans.

Greg Marmalard: But Delta's already on probation.
Dean Vernon Wormer: They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!
Animal House, 1978

by OhioHawk on Oct 8, 2010 8:05 PM CDT reply actions  

Is the Bacon AK-47 MADE out of bacon or SHOOTS bacon?

We ain't making no goddamn cornflakes here."
- Col. Charlie Beckwith, founder of Delta Force

by Zulu on Oct 8, 2010 9:48 PM CDT reply actions  

Is the Bacon AK-47 MADE of bacon or does it SHOOT bacon?

Because, if it shoots bacon, the nomenclature would be better served, M3 Bacon Submachine Gun.

We ain't making no goddamn cornflakes here."
- Col. Charlie Beckwith, founder of Delta Force

by Zulu on Oct 8, 2010 9:51 PM CDT reply actions  

BACON (and Facebook)

Facebook really has nothing to do with bacon… but I was wondering how many BHGPers are on FB… I need to increase my Friends Pool…

Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!

by The Bird Cult on Oct 9, 2010 1:10 AM CDT reply actions  

How Is Iowa These Days?

Greetings from a Black and Gold dude on the West Coast. Since when is Purdue such a huge game (Ohio State, Michigan?). For my money, take the M-16 for reliability (maintainance), but would love to try the Gerand some day. ’Nuff said with the previous post wrt Korea (1950-1953).
“… So I got that going for me, which is nice.”

by SanDiegoHawkeye on Oct 9, 2010 8:23 PM CDT reply actions  

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