The Hawkeye Index, Part the First.*


Cruising the Stats Sheets.


Current national Iowa ranking in rushing defense:  2.


Alabama ranking in rushing defense:  19.


Score of intergalactic mega-game, Alabama v. PSU:  24-3.


Score of overlooked Big Ten tilt, Iowa v. PSU: 24-3.


Increase in game experience of stud PSU freshman QB, mega-game v. overlooked game:  400%.


Difference it made in outcome:  0%.


(Value of comparative scores: also 0%, but still.)


Number of rushing touchdowns yielded by Iowa, 2010:  0.


Number of other FBS schools yielding 0 rushing touchdowns in first five games:  0.


Number of other FBS schools yielding 0 rushing touchdowns in first four games (i.e., they already had their bye):  1.


Name of the other one:  Arizona, I think it's pronounced.  (But I gnash my teeth at the sound, and may be wrong.)


Ranking, in regard to national rushing defense, of Arizona:  21.


Ranking, in regard to national rushing defense (reminder), of Iowa:  2.


Number of Arizona offensive drives resulting in a touchdown: 1.


Total points scored by Arizona:  34.


Number of missed game opportunities for historically important Iowa team to achieve righteous prominence:  1.


Number of Iowa rushing touchdowns yielded, period 2007-2010 (present date):  27.


Number of games played by Iowa, period 2007-2010 (present date):  43.


Probability of Iowa yielding a single rushing touchdown, irrespective of turnovers or special teams debacle, per game:  63%.


Average points per game yielded by Iowa on the ground, period 2007 to present:  4.4.  [Figure assumes a TD=7, not 6.]


Probability you are going to beat Iowa scoring 4.4 points per game on the ground: not so hot.


Game success achieved by the preeminent run game Evil Genius of the past 30 years, by name Paul Johnson, v. Iowa:  [null set].


Probability that Kirk Ferentz and Norm Parker think football is not so complicated, and you can't win if you can't run, control the LOS, and generally frighten people:  99.9999999%.


Probability that KF and NP think we lost to OSU last year because they ran for three (3) TDs and 229 yards: are you serious?


The number of touchdowns a team can score cruising up and down the field throwing quick passes between the 20's:  0.


The reason the second half of the 2010 PSU-Iowa game was dull and alarming to Hawkeye enthusiasts who want to beat PSU by 40 and score brownie points with sportswriters in the SEC and Pac-10:  see prior notes.


Reason, in a 6-2 game, Iowa walked out of the end zone and handed PSU 2 points:  see prior notes.


Final score of that game:  6-4.


Number of FBS scholarship offers dangled before Mike Daniels: 0.


Number of teams who will attempt to block Adrian Clayborn with one man, 2010: 0, not even Carimi will be left alone with Clayborn.


Number of 300-lb defensive ends who ran the 4x100 spring relay in high school and won a state championship:  I don't know, but it's not a very big number.


Number of All American tackles who entered college weighing (Klug) 207 and (Daniels) 210: I don't know, but it's not a big number.


Ranking, all-time, against all Big Ten d-lines, of the 2010 Hawkeye d-line:  I don't know, but we will find out in the next 60 days.


Likelihood that I'll have to remove my shoes and socks, and unzip my pants, to count the number of better d-lines in Big Ten history: ask Joe Paterno, he's our living history authority, but I suspect it's extremely low.


Number of pussies who start for an Iowa defense coached by Norm Parker (cumulative, all years):  0.


Wealth created by Chris Doyle, empowering his willing charges:  hundreds of millions of dollars (think about it).


Number of hours Norm Parker has spent lying on his back thinking about Denard Robinson while people cut off his body parts:  150 (here's hoping).


Number of times Norm developed a bad game plan when he had time to think about it:  0.


Most physical football games played in the FBS division, last four years:  Iowa v. Michigan State.


Value of Iowa's serendipitous bye week occurring a) while Michigan prepares for the unrelenting pain that is Michigan State; and b) Norm has nothing to do but reflect on the mystery that is Denard:  To Infinity, and Beyond!




*[Apologies to Harpers Index]

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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