The dead eyes of the Dantonio-bot seek only your destruction, puny flesh-bag. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
We all know what's really scaring us this week -- Sparty's a good team, how will Iowa's special teams shit all overthemselves next, how will poor clock management kill Iowa this week, can the Iowa linebackers cover well or tackle well or do anything well, etc. -- but whatever. That stuff is what it is and no amount of fretting and brow-furrowing is going to make Ferentz know how to use timeouts at the end of games or teach Iowa to be on the alert for a goddamn fake punt. The good news is that there's plenty of other shit to obsess about, too.
Poll
What scares you the most heading into the Iowa-Michigan State game this weekend?
Sparty! (Roid rage is no laughing matter!) (85 votes)
The football gods/football karma! (MSU has it this year, Iowa doesn't!) (423 votes)
Mark Dantonio's crazy monkey heart! (It's the reason he's coaching again so soon!) (120 votes)
The ghost of Jeff Smoker! (Crack is wack!) (39 votes)
Movie tie-ins to Spartans and Hawkeyes! (300 is more badass than Last of the Mohicans!) (31 votes)
Norm Parker's severed foot! (It's gonna go all Evil Dead 2 on us!) (99 votes)
Deadites! (Michigan State students used The Book of the Dead to unleash them on the world!) (20 votes)
Tom Izzo! (Midgets are disturbing!) (75 votes)
2:30pm start time! (We're only undefeated in 11am start times!) (93 votes)
Kirk Cousins! (Grew up an Iowa fan, now wants to beat us!) (179 votes)
1164 total votes
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