Traitor. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
This week brings us our final game for the forseeable future against our most competitive rivals, the yin to our yang, the Soviet Union to our United States of fucking America, the Red Menace to our Team America. I refer, of course, to the vile Wisconsin Badgers, those crimson-clad jag-offs who seek more than just a win in a football game on Saturday and to take our trophy back to their depraved burrow -- they seek to extinguish our way of life. And they seek to do while cloaking themselves under the veil of patriotism -- THE VERY NERVE. We will not stand for this sort of nonsense. So tell us what disturbs you the most about the filthy Badgers.
What scares you the most heading into the Iowa-Wisconsin game this weekend?
Communism! (The Badgers hate capitalism, democracy, and freedom!) (229 votes)
Bielema and Alvarez! (Former Iowans turned vile traitors!) (91 votes)
The Badger offensive line! (So big and beefy!) (345 votes)
Scott Tolzien! (The latest in a long line of sneaky good Badger QBS!) (45 votes)
John Clay's appetite! (He'll eat everything in Iowa City!) (125 votes)
The motion W! (It makes them appear faster!) (19 votes)
The Ghost of Ron Dayne! (His spectral fat ass craves more yards!) (56 votes)
Bielema's 2-point conversion card! (Douchebag powers: activate!) (175 votes)
Recent success! (They just beat Ohio State!) (115 votes)
Still no Norm! (We miss his defensive brilliance!) (287 votes)
1487 total votes