FanPost

NSFW: Translating Obscenities to Your Kids on "Family Weekend"

IOWA CITY (BHGP) -- When the Iowa Hawkeyes host the Wisconsin Badgers this Saturday at historic Kinnick Stadium fans can expect an epic tilt on the gridiron -- and in the stands.

Who schedules Family Weekend to coincide with this particular matchup between two of the Big Ten's more impassioned fanbases? That jagoff clearly does not know the two teams' rich, blue-streaked history and mutual hatred of one another.

Screaming 'Earmuffs!' and jabbing index fingers into your children's ears will not be a practical solution or even remotely sufficient to stem the constant tide of hurled invective. Instead, confront the thorny issue head-on by having the following translations at the ready.

Kid-sports-fan_medium

(Image made fucking possible via those assholes at flipthatbird.com, Fuckface.)

For example, "Bitch, put your twat shitmouth in your c-nt  where sun don't fucking shine" translates as "Good sir or madame, I respectfully ask that you peruse the comments below."

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