Nighty-Night, Sweet Prince: Tim Brewster Fired as Minnesota Gopher Head Football Coach
by Patrick Vint on Oct 18, 2010 7:01 AM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes News
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PrintWIN FIGHT TRY TREMENDOUS CANNED LIKE TUNA, indeed. Minnesota football coach, Motivational Tourette's sufferer, and all-around incompetent bozo Tim Brewster was fired Sunday morning, on the heels of a 28-17 loss to Purdue that left the Gophers 1-6 on the year and 15-30 in his three-plus year tenure. In his time at the University of Minnesota, Brewster posted exactly one winning season (a 7-6 mark in 2008) and failed to win Floyd of Rosedale, Paul Bunyan's Axe, or the Little Brown Jug even once.
This is a sad day at BHGP. As you all know, we've had more than our share of fun at Brewster's expense over the years. Whether it be his incoherent blathering about Pasadena, his absurd overuse of motivational words, his blatant resume padding, his selective memory, or his exclamation point-riddled Twitter account, Play4Brew was a constant source of amusement for us. We'll be sad to see him go, not only because he was so much fun, but because his teams had absolutely no chance of ever beating Iowa. So today, we pour out a 16 oz. silo can for Tim Brewster, one ounce for every point his teams scored against Iowa in three seasons. This one's for you, Tim.
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He'll land on his feet in no time
this kind of talent always finds a home. Although, I would expect it will be in something other than football, or athletics for that matter.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
Or something like this...
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
by StoopsMyAss on Oct 18, 2010 8:05 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Insurance Salesman
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 18, 2010 8:32 AM CDT up reply actions
fuck
I know it’s an easy joke but when it’s your profession it can get tiring
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 18, 2010 8:44 AM CDT up reply actions
I’m an accountant at an insurance brokerage. One of the salesmen already joked that we should set up a cubicle for Brewster before I typed that.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 18, 2010 8:56 AM CDT up reply actions
Like that damn dirty Patrick Vint.
Just kidding, or as the kids are saying these days, JK LOLZ!
"Yeah, and that’s bullshit, cause Boise plays Kirkwood every other weekend".
Smokin' Herb Grigsby's Mom (+1, I say)
Of course "the kids" are all jacked up on MethAids...
…so maybe we shouldn’t perpetuate their stupidity any further than The MTV already does.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 18, 2010 1:35 PM CDT up reply actions
I could see him pursuing
a career as a Televangelist. He seems like the kind of guy to get his preaching certification for the fun of it.
THE MOON WALK WAS A HOAX. YOUR POPCORN IS SHIT. JOLLY TIME FOREVER. FUCK PURDUE-RossWB
by Pain in the Sash on Oct 18, 2010 8:36 AM CDT up reply actions
fuck
I know it’s an easy joke but when you’re in the profession it gets tiring.
SATAN BE GONE
I check cheddar like a food inspector
by SpanishJohnny on Oct 18, 2010 11:24 AM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
BTW, I was one of the recs
Thought about doing the same myself but thought I’d leave it open for the next enterprising individual. Classic.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 18, 2010 9:46 PM CDT up reply actions
A manager at a suicide hotline
"I know you're from Middle America, and sometimes you feel like you're representing more than just a school or a conference, maybe an entire group of American citizens out there."
by Twin Cities Hawk on Oct 18, 2010 8:43 AM CDT up reply actions
He'd put himself out of work.
Of course, if he were also a medium, he could continue counseling them AFTER they killed themselves.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 18, 2010 1:38 PM CDT up reply actions
FIGHT! TRY! TOASTER! BATHTUB!
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 18, 2010 1:41 PM CDT up reply actions
Maybe pimping?
"Yeah, and that’s bullshit, cause Boise plays Kirkwood every other weekend".
Smokin' Herb Grigsby's Mom (+1, I say)
Maybe one of the kids that have chosen Minnesota over Iowa in the last few years might want to transfer
Marqueis Gray, James Manuel… come get a real football education, kids. The snake oil you were sold doesn’t cure anything.
Brunettes not fighter jets
Unfortunately, at this point...even if it's a freshman
they’re all defiled, tainted and demoralized. I’ll pass. Although I wish them the best. The next coach is a rebound relationship…and those never work.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
All I can say is....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Timmuh!
Strange Letdown
As one of the two Gopher fans (that I know of/who admit it) that posts here on occasion, I’m actually going to miss Brewster in a strange way.
I was back in MN this past weekend, and was listening to the Gopher-Purdue game on the radio as I drove up from Iowa City. I was actually perversely gleeful during Minnesota’s final abortive drive, as several consecutive incompletions and a false start penalty were capped by an INT to end the game, and Brewster’s tenure in Minnesota.
This sentiment was shared by the Gopher fans I talked to this weekend, who more or less openly admitted to rooting against Minnesota so that Brewster would be fired that much sooner.
Now, we’re stuck with an interim coach and a dead-in-the-water football program. We’re still going to get pummelled, but we will no longer have the joy of knowing every Big Ten blowout and “thrilling” loss to a Dakota school brings us one step closer to the end of the Brewster era. Now we just have a football program mired in a fifty-year down cycle.
by Midnight Rambler on Oct 18, 2010 9:00 AM CDT reply actions
Everything about Brew is...
…“in a strange way.”
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 18, 2010 1:40 PM CDT up reply actions
OMG
This song has been on a constant loop in Urban Meyer’s head since the moment Tim Tebow left Gainesville.
"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell
Was Brewster a good assistant?
Some folks are just not ready or up to the challenges of HC.
"Have you ever had the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s Hot Pocket inside a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket."
PS - Great Video.
"Have you ever had the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s Hot Pocket inside a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket."
He won a MNC while coaching
tight ends at Texas…I think…
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride!" HST
by Dip-Shit on Oct 18, 2010 9:29 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
He Recruited Vince Young!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, that was the centerpiece of Brewster’s sales pitch. And Maturi bought it hook, line, and sinker.
by Midnight Rambler on Oct 18, 2010 9:32 AM CDT up reply actions
Wow, that's impressive
convincing a kid from Houston that he wants to play QB for the Longhorns.
I’m sure that Young was all set to be an Owl before Brewster talked to him.
by Josh Timmers on Oct 18, 2010 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions
But after looking back at all of the memories we shared, that's a contented sigh
"But then again I’d second guess anything a clown like me says anyway."
by ReadingRambler on Oct 18, 2010 9:30 AM CDT up reply actions
If you wanna get some you better bring some.
So very, very true.
We may never see the likes of a man such as this again.
May the next coach be as good as Brewster and as lucky as Wacker.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 18, 2010 10:16 AM CDT reply actions
That's what Kitty Yung said to Ron Jeremy...
…in the Super Hornio Brothers.
"Have you ever had the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s Hot Pocket inside a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket."
I hope that's a true statement
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 18, 2010 12:44 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah, it was me.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Patrick Vint on Oct 18, 2010 10:21 AM CDT up reply actions
HS is becoming the new "King of all Media"
1) Writing skillz
2) Falsetto singing skillz
3) Podcasting skillz
4) Video editing skillz
5) and many more, of course
All of this while often drinking paint thinner
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 18, 2010 10:30 AM CDT up reply actions
You calling Templeton "paint-thinner"?
Blasphemy!
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Oct 18, 2010 10:41 AM CDT up reply actions
I love the podcasts
When you can hear Vint or whomever cracking open beers.
“Purdue sucks ~ CRACK-SHHHHHHHH – dog balls.”
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 18, 2010 10:42 AM CDT up reply actions
Beers?
I…I thought those were diet Pepsis!
"Yeah, and that’s bullshit, cause Boise plays Kirkwood every other weekend".
Smokin' Herb Grigsby's Mom (+1, I say)
You're both right
My man drinks nothing but Sharp’s.
Ceci n'est pas un blogue.
by Adam Jacobi on Oct 18, 2010 12:53 PM CDT up reply actions
Twin Cities radio station loves the vid
FAT PAT Reusse himself just told the listeners to check out their web page for a link to this video
by Burge4517in1983 on Oct 18, 2010 12:08 PM CDT up reply actions
If you can make it in Minnesota ...
you can make it anywhere!
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 18, 2010 12:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Are you serious?
Oh, I love the Internet, and the Pants.
"Yeah, and that’s bullshit, cause Boise plays Kirkwood every other weekend".
Smokin' Herb Grigsby's Mom (+1, I say)
BHGP got name-checked by Fatrick?
Wow. That’s impressive. He must be doing his research to troll. He may be my favorite baseball mind, but he’s as useless as something really useless during football season.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 18, 2010 12:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah, we got name-checked alright.
If our name is “That Hawkeye website.”
Still, nice to see Patrick’s excellent video getting some nice (and well-deserved) pub.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
It's Reusse
The fact that he actually was correct in the fact that you associate yourselves with the University of Iowa, who are the Hawkeyes, is a pretty damn impressive feat for him. It would not surprise me a bit if he had a larynx in his colon with how much of the time he spends talking out of his ass.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 18, 2010 2:55 PM CDT up reply actions
he did say ,"that hawkeye website"
tried to come up with the name, and said how much fun that hawkeye website had at brewster’s expense. mostly he was patting himself on the back for being right about his first impression of brewster. also, the since the video had the “fat pat” tweet (which i dont know the whole story of, but there was a bit of a stink about it) it was notable to reusse
by Burge4517in1983 on Oct 18, 2010 4:00 PM CDT up reply actions
You have an ID on the radio station?
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Patrick Vint on Oct 18, 2010 12:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Thanks, that made my day
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Patrick Vint on Oct 18, 2010 1:46 PM CDT up reply actions
Okay, THAT IS IT!
I’ll not stand for Mr. Vint defiling this great internet site by being associated with tWWL! It’s bad enough that OPS disappears, only to reappear suckling at the teat of the all seeing eye.
Now you make a video that’s liked by someone at espn. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT… also, Dude the preferred nomenclature is BrewDog. Please.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 18, 2010 2:00 PM CDT up reply actions
NEXT COACH IN!!!
In heaven there is no beer. This isn't heaven, it's Iowa.
by PanterHawk on Oct 18, 2010 11:06 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
^ THIS ^
If I wanted a signature line, I would have asked for one... /facepalm
by hawkeye_heartattack on Oct 18, 2010 11:55 AM CDT up reply actions
One of the best things about the Brewster Era was the way the facts themselves could tell the story of his glorious failure.
And, lordy, was the Strib full of damning facts and fact-like substances today:
THREE HIGHS
• Starting the 2008 season 7-1, which included a three-game winning streak in the Big Ten.
• The Gophers inaugurated TCF Bank Stadium with a 20-13 victory over Air Force on Sept. 12, 2009, making them 2-0 to start the 2009 season.
• The Gophers won their third consecutive opener, 24-17 at Middle Tennessee State on Sept. 2 to start the 2010 season.
Yes, one of the three highs of the Brew Era was winning three straight openers, despite the fact that Minnesota (like 95% of teams) schedules absolute corpses for openers.
THREE LOWS
• Brewster employed three defensive and three offensive coordinators in his three-plus seasons as coach.
• The Gophers went 1-10 in November, with the one victory coming against South Dakota State in 2009.
• The Gophers failed to win a trophy game or beat a Top 25 team under Brewster.
I was really hoping 55-0 would be one of the bullet points, but I guess it was hard to pick with so many glorious examples of failure to choose from.
The last Rose Bowl visit was in 1962, the last conference co-championship in 1967, the last upset of a ranked team in 2005.
(via)
Holy christ. I would say that they’re essentially Indiana with lakes at this point when it comes to football, but that does a disservice to Indiana — they’ve beaten a ranked team since 2005 (damn you, James Hardy).
Brewster won only 15 times in 45 games since becoming head coach in 2007, too little even for a program that hasn’t finished above fourth place in the Big Ten since 1986,"
Again, only Indiana can match that level of futility in the league. Even Illinois manages to sprinkle in a few WTF seasons that end in a Sugar Bowl or Rose Bowl trip every once or twice a decade.
Brewster went 15-30 with the Gophers, 6-21 in Big Ten games, 0-10 in trophy games, and 1-11 in November and December.
(via)
Gruesome.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
His posterior should have been OURS
Last game of the season
Thanksgiving weekend
The Hawkeyes walk off with the PIG and Brew gets the axe.
but alas, Purdue has to jump and up get him fired.
I REALLY HATE THAT PURDUE SCHOOL
by Burge4517in1983 on Oct 18, 2010 5:49 PM CDT up reply actions
WE HATES PURDUE FOREVER
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
by The Bird Cult on Oct 18, 2010 6:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Hey, at least Tim had more Big Ten wins at the time he got fired than RRod does midway through his 3rd season (4-15 so far, 13-18 overall. Did I mention RRod coaches at Michigan? I forgot, it’s Lloyd’s fault). If Michigan finishes 2-6 in conference this year, Rodriguez conference record will be 5-19, compared to Brew’s final 6-21. Ouch.
Extremely valid points
for the winningest program in CFB history. That will be truly amazing.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 18, 2010 9:50 PM CDT up reply actions
Minnesota is a bit better than Indiana.
They have a completely new stadium, whereas Indiana has a renovated mausoleum.
Also, they have a much better (albeit, ancient) history/tradition compared to IU.
For the Gophers, is it a good thing or a bad thing that Minnesota has two Insight Bowl losses in the last 3 years, compared to IU’s lone Insight Bowl loss?
That, that’s about it.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Oct 18, 2010 10:28 PM CDT up reply actions
BUT THEY BEAT NOTRE DAME
Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!
by The Bird Cult on Oct 18, 2010 10:38 PM CDT up reply actions
You're doing him a disservice
He FIGHT TRY LOST to several of the corpses they scheduled, so winning their opener 3 times in row has to count for something.
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 19, 2010 1:52 AM CDT up reply actions
Well, clearly he just needed to schedule the Dakotas for the opening game.
If he could have had 9 months to gameplan for them, no problem. I mean, who can beat South Dakota on just a week’s notice? He’s not a fucking miracle-worker here
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
all i have to said
can be said for me at 2:23
fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yard charge - syracuse '07
by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 19, 2010 11:50 PM CDT reply actions
My favorite Brewster memory
Was during a Purdue @ Minnesota game. Before the game, a video of the locker room showed him talking about being pumped up on DEFENSE! And on OFFENSE!
But he must’ve forgotten about special teams, and Purdue ran the opening kickoff back for a touchdown.
Just a bittersweet memory from a fan of YMHR, so we can put our rivalry aside and connect for a moment, or something.
by Beavis Beefcake on Oct 20, 2010 12:44 PM CDT reply actions
Oh sweet jesus god this nearly brought me to tears
Not sure how much this means coming from a Purdue student, but i’m most definitely adding BHGP to my daily blog list.
As a Colts fan, I already freaking love certain former Hawkeyes.
"We'll put em in the pot, shake it up and see what comes out." - Howard Mudd
"Nothing's complicated if you understand it." - Tom Moore
"It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law." - Hofstadter's Law
Dallas Clark is
Just. This. Incredible.
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