What Really Happened in the 4th Quarter

by Cornshoe Hammaker on Oct 17, 2010 12:06 PM CDT

With Iowa nursing a 10-point lead late against Michigan, many of the Hawkeye faithful were still a bit nervous. Many people on the game thread were nearly shitting themselves. I will admit that settling for the Field Goal had me a bit concerned as well.

So I stepped outside of the bar where I was watching the game and made a quick phone call.

RING

WELP HOWDY

Hey Coach, it's Cornshoe! Sorry to bother you, but everyone's getting a little hysterical. I mean Michigan has already scored 21 points and some of us are having flashbacks of that Northwestern game a few years ago.

I'm just contemplating the "ifs"

I don't want to hear about no mother-fucking "ifs"! All I want to hear is: "You ain't got no problem, Cornshoe. I'm on the mother-fucker. Now go back in there, chill them Hawkeyes out and wait for the calvary, which should be coming DIRECTLY!"

You ain't got no problem, Cornshoe. I'm on the mother-fucker. Go back in there, chill them Hawkeyes out. And wait for the Next Man In.

You sendin' the Next Man In?

Don't you feel better now, mother fucker?

Shit coach, that's all you had to say!

Click to Close

Photo courtesy Brian Ray / SourceMedia Group News via thegazette.com

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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Oh Cornshoe. Rec’d for The Wolf.

by txhawkeye on Oct 17, 2010 1:34 PM CDT reply actions

What really happened in the 4th Quarter:

Iowa won.

"But then again I’d second guess anything a clown like me says anyway."

by ReadingRambler on Oct 17, 2010 3:34 PM CDT reply actions

Dorks. They look like a couple of dorks.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Oct 17, 2010 4:04 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs

Ha Ha Mother Fucker

They’re your cloths. When Bonnie buys the coffee she buys shit, when i buy coffee i buy the gourmet expensive shit because when i drink it i want to taste it.

i don't wife em...i one night em

by smokinthereiff on Oct 17, 2010 4:44 PM CDT up reply actions

You know what they call a Quarter pounder with cheese in Paris?

They call it a Royal with cheese. What do they call a Whopper? I don’t know, I didn’t go to Burger King.

Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian

by fliphawk4 on Oct 18, 2010 10:10 AM CDT up reply actions

awwwww man I shot Marvin in the face…..

by ERICstana33 on Oct 18, 2010 1:21 PM CDT up reply actions

Are you an oak man, Jimmy?

by HawkeyeRecon on Oct 18, 2010 8:50 PM CDT up reply actions

+1

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Oct 17, 2010 5:34 PM CDT up reply actions

It was a pleasure watching with you, good man.

If ever I’m back in Minneapolis during an Iowa game, you can bet I’ll be there again.

by Third Generation Hawk on Oct 17, 2010 9:12 PM CDT reply actions

Hey, the banana slug is really their mascot

Those are highly coveted t-shirts here.

Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!!

by The Bird Cult on Oct 17, 2010 9:41 PM CDT reply actions

Yup. They're coveted everywhere (people just don't know it).

I discovered the Santa Cruz Banana Slugs right before the movie came out and had bought a shirt. I happened to wear it when myself and many friends went to see Pulp Fiction at the theatre. It was like QT was pointing at me in the front row (I was in high school and didn’t care about my neck… now I’m old, and have a bad neck) and calling me a DORK.
I still don’t mind. I am a bit of a dork.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 19, 2010 3:55 PM CDT up reply actions