WE'RE TALKIN' FOOTBALL: EARLY GAMES EDITION

It's football Saturday -- you know the drill.  While you wait for Iowa-Michigan to kick off, here are a few other games to keep your eye on: 

* Minnesota @ Purdue (11am CST, ESPN2)
* Illinois @ Michigan State (11am, BTN)
* Arkansas State @ Indiana (11am, ESPNU)
* Boston College @ Florida State (11am, ESPN)
* Missouri @ Texas A&M (FSN)

How ESPN got shafted with Minnesota/Purude on the Deuce is one of the weekend's great mysteries.  On the other hand, their combined level of suck may actually result in a competitive -- and thus entertaining -- encounter.  But the game of the morning is clearly Sparty vs. the Fightin' Zookers.  On the other hand, Minny-Purdue could be The Last Stand of PLAY4BREW, so you might not want to miss that.  I won't be around the rest of the day, but the other admins should be floating in and out, so behave -- they have banhammers and aren't afraid to use them if you step out of line.  If you need a refresher course on the really pretty simple rules of these open threads: 

No links to pirated illegal streams of games, no porn, no slurs (ethnic, sexual, whatever), nothing that really bogs down the thread (i.e., alphabet games), no posting "first!" or "second!", and be judicious in posting images, particularly animated .gif files.  Read after the jump for more detailed descriptions.

 

What's a pirated illegal stream and why can't I talk about it?  If you're watching the game on your computer and you're not watching it on ESPN3.com or Yahoo.com or BTN.com or the official site of a school or conference... you are probably watching a pirated illegal stream.  You can't talk about them here because it gets us into legal hot water.  And you don't want to do that.

What's porn?  We're like the Supreme Court: we know it when we see it.  But, in general, if you avoid naked or blatant cheesecake pictures, you'll be fine.  Look, it's the goddamn internet -- if you can't find porn elsewhere within roughly 2.3 seconds, you're either not trying or you're a fucking idiot.

What's a slur?  We're not going to provide a full "banned words" list or anything, but come on -- use a little common sense and a bit of decorum.    Again, it's the goddamn internet -- if you really need to call someone a "dumb fag," there's probably a place to do that.  But it's not here.  Along the same lines, please don't pick fights with other commenters -- you just wind up looking like a fucking loser.

What bogs down the thread and why do I care?  Look, these threads get a lot of action and for the most part they're an entertaining way to spend a game, riffing on stupid plays, awesome plays, bad announcing, inane commercials, etc.  But certain things really slow them down, like games revolving around listing every WWII general alphabetically or every element of the periodic table. So please don't do that.

What about images?  See above -- they can really slow things down when these threads get massive, especially animated .gif files.  It doesn't mean you can't post them -- just be judicious in using them.  Oh, and that really over-the-top THAT'S RACIST .gif?  Yeah, definitely don't post that.

What's this "first!" or "second!" business?  There's a really stupid internet meme wherein people feel the need to proclaim that they are the first (or second or third or..) person to post in a new thread.  It's really fucking stupid so DON'T DO IT HERE OR YOU WILL BE BANNED.

Break these rules and at the very least your comment will be deleted and you'll be warned; if it's a more severe infraction, you will be banned. 

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