... continued from Patriot Games: Part I ...
On a dimly lit dock outside of Gary, Indiana...
Ok... this seems like the kinda place Commander Belichick was describing for where Codename "P.P." would be found...
I dunno, Rick... This place seems pretty damn quiet. We should probably move on. Besides, Jeff said he was gonna be meeting us ov...
ARF ARF ARF/ *urinates on nearby trash pile*
Come on, AC... Ace. We've barely been here for 5 minutes. Let's just stake it out a little longer and see what happens... I brought you guys along to provide some support... not complain all the time!!!
Alright, Rick... Alright. This just doesn't seem like the kind of place a terrorist would smug...
... a short distance away on the pier, a figure emerges from the darkness barking commands...
HURRY UP, YOU THUGS!!! THE SERBIANS SAID THEIR CORRESPONDENT WOULD BE MEETING US SHORTLY. BOILER UP.
Sir, yes sir!!
... back at the hiding spot of our heroes...
Holy Hancock's Signature, AC!!! There he is!! And they're meeting a Serbian to get the weapon materials!!
This doesn't look good, Ricky. We're outnumbered even if Jeff shows up...
ARFARF
Just calm down, guys. Jeff will get here in time. We have to lay out a plan while we wait though. Let's lie low, wait for this Serbian to show up, and sneak up to snatch Codename "P.P." when when they're occupied while making the transaction... Look, I think that's the guy!!
AH, SO YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO SHOW UP. YOU SERBIANS AND YOUR TARDINESS ARE BOILING ME UP.
Ve are not Serbians, Purdue Petr. Ve have been over thees before. Ve are Moldovans. Ve like to get saxy.
WHATEVER, A COMMUNIST IS A COMMUNIST. I DON'T LIKE THE SAXOPHONE ANYWAY. WHERE IS THE PLUTONIUM?!?!
*pelvic thrusts in the direction of small boat* Zee secret plutonium filled dingy ees over there, Purdue Petr!!!
AH, I SEE IT. BOILERBOYS!!! GET TO THAT DINGY!!!
AC, Ace... this could be our chance, let's get ready to bag Codename "P.P." while his cronies and Epic Sax Guy are busy.
Alright, let's do this. I'm not gonna let these terrorist bastards smuggle anything into our country, right Ace?!
ARF
That's the American spirit guys... Ok,Ready?... ooooone...
...Sir, which dingy do you speak of, sir?! There are several!!!...
...Twoooooo...
THE MOLDOVAN SAID THE COVERED ONE HAS THE PLUTONIUM!!! NO, THE COVERED ONE, YOU IMBECILES!!!
...Thr...
THE ONE WITH THE TARP.
Did someone say TARP!?!?!
IT'S A TARP
IT'S A TARP
ARFARF TARP
DOO. DOO-DUH-DUH DOO DOOOO DOO.
*Swooshes through pier like a missile, tying up the cronies in one fell swoop* Sorry I was late RIcky, AC, Ace!! Now let's bag that Commie bastard, Purdue Pete!!
Now you've got no one to back you up, Purdue Pete!! Your plutonium boiling days are over!!
*while being tied up* DAGNABBIT. I KNEW I COUDN'T RELY ON THOSE BAND KIDS OR THE MOLDOVAN. YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, HAWKEYES!!! YOU'LL SEE!!!! YOUR MOST HATED RIVAL WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!!! *dragged away by our hero's compatriots*
... meanwhile...
WHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSH
That must be Commander Belichick!!!
*jumping off chopper* Stanzi... You and your boys have done a fantastic job. Purdue Pete and his maniacal world domination ideas have no chance against America. When will these commies ever learn.
We sure taught those Boilers a message, didn't we Commander Belichick!?
Sure did, Stanzi. Sure did. Now, since you've performed admirably under the conditions given and impressed all the way to the top... about that reward we were talking about...
... some time later, in late April of 2011...
... The New England Patriots select... Ricky Stanzi... Quarterback, Iowa.
Welcome aboard, Stanzi. Now you are a tried and true Patriot.
Love it or leave, Commander Belichick!! Love it or leave it!!