Hey, remember Q&As? The things we did before podcasts were invented (inventors: Vint and Jacobi, circa 2009)? Yes, we've got one of those this week with Beauford Bixel of Maize N Brew. Michigan men are not to be trusted under any circumstances, so do not take any of these answers at their word. Everything that follows is a lie, except for the parts where we ask heroic questions.
1. Why is Denard Robinson scared of Iowa?
With caveats towards "scared" maybe not being the right word, I think that the speed and skill of the defensive line at Iowa is going to be problematic for the Michigan offensive line. A lot of what Michigan does relies on scoop blocking (getting your hat across the lineman lined up next to you, not over you), and releasing the guard into space (bitches). Iowa's line more than likely takes that option away, which limits some of what we can do schematically. On the other hand, this could be a good day for the read option if the Iowa defensive line starts crashing down too hard. I said last week that Michigan State would be the toughest defense to date that Michigan had faced, and that goes for Iowa as well. Also, both Denard Robinson and Adrian Clayborn have dreadlocks, and in today's society we simply cannot have dreadlock on dreadlock crime.
2. If Iowa finishes with a better record than Michigan this season, doesn't that prove that the spread is a gimmick and Michigan should cut Denard Robinson?
Likewise, if Michigan beats Iowa, then it's clear that the 4-3 is doomed. I recommend the 3-3-5. It works so well!
3. Say something good about Iowa. If you use a backhanded compliment, you're a coward.
As a kid I remember watching Iowa play under Hayden Fry and always thought that those teams were really big and mean. Going to modern times, I am also very disappointed in what's happened to Jewel Hampton in that way that causes me to say "that's not fair" very angrily to no one in particular.
4. Pretty safe to say the Big House renovation was a failure. Is it time to tear that place down and build a new, louder stadium? Perhaps something in the shape of a horse's shoe?
Well you're the shape of a horse's ass. So there.
5. You, personally, are not as physically attractive as me. I guess that's not a question but I'm keeping it.
Your mom has told me differently on 3 separate occasions.
6. Denard Robinson Denard Robinson Denard Robinson? Or Denard Robinson Denard Robinson Denard Robinson?