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BHGP-MNB Q&A OMG BBQ

Hey, remember Q&As? The things we did before podcasts were invented (inventors: Vint and Jacobi, circa 2009)? Yes, we've got one of those this week with Beauford Bixel of Maize N Brew. Michigan men are not to be trusted under any circumstances, so do not take any of these answers at their word. Everything that follows is a lie, except for the parts where we ask heroic questions.

1. Why is Denard Robinson scared of Iowa?

With caveats towards "scared" maybe not being the right word, I think that the speed and skill of the defensive line at Iowa is going to be problematic for the Michigan offensive line. A lot of what Michigan does relies on scoop blocking (getting your hat across the lineman lined up next to you, not over you), and releasing the guard into space (bitches). Iowa's line more than likely takes that option away, which limits some of what we can do schematically. On the other hand, this could be a good day for the read option if the Iowa defensive line starts crashing down too hard. I said last week that Michigan State would be the toughest defense to date that Michigan had faced, and that goes for Iowa as well. Also, both Denard Robinson and Adrian Clayborn have dreadlocks, and in today's society we simply cannot have dreadlock on dreadlock crime.

2. If Iowa finishes with a better record than Michigan this season, doesn't that prove that the spread is a gimmick and Michigan should cut Denard Robinson?

Likewise, if Michigan beats Iowa, then it's clear that the 4-3 is doomed. I recommend the 3-3-5. It works so well!

Star-divide

3. Say something good about Iowa. If you use a backhanded compliment, you're a coward.

As a kid I remember watching Iowa play under Hayden Fry and always thought that those teams were really big and mean. Going to modern times, I am also very disappointed in what's happened to Jewel Hampton in that way that causes me to say "that's not fair" very angrily to no one in particular.

4. Pretty safe to say the Big House renovation was a failure. Is it time to tear that place down and build a new, louder stadium? Perhaps something in the shape of a horse's shoe?

Well you're the shape of a horse's ass. So there.

5. You, personally, are not as physically attractive as me. I guess that's not a question but I'm keeping it.

Your mom has told me differently on 3 separate occasions.

6. Denard Robinson Denard Robinson Denard Robinson? Or Denard Robinson Denard Robinson Denard Robinson?

Denard Robinson.

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Adam, Beauford is right on #5;

your mom doesn’t find you attractive…fuckable, yes, but not attractive.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 13, 2010 6:21 PM CDT reply actions  

I wanted the honor (???) of following McCannt's most recent comment.

"But then again I’d second guess anything a clown like me says anyway."

by ReadingRambler on Oct 13, 2010 6:22 PM CDT reply actions  

Shouldn't that have been...

…“McCann’t’s”? It’s weird when you see a contraction given a possessive apostrophe.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 13, 2010 11:16 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm going to say "No" either way.

"But then again I’d second guess anything a clown like me says anyway."

by ReadingRambler on Oct 14, 2010 8:17 AM CDT up reply actions  

Denard Robinson scares me in the way a Toronto, or Giant Meteoroid or Palin Presidency does

it’s probably not going to hit us, but it would be fucking disastrous on the off-chance it does.

Choke/Clutch is the fetishization of the small sample size.

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov

by shake n bake on Oct 13, 2010 6:35 PM CDT reply actions  

* Tornado

obviously, though Toronto isn’t far from where the Bieber abomination was created so that’s scary too.

Choke/Clutch is the fetishization of the small sample size.

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov

by shake n bake on Oct 13, 2010 6:48 PM CDT up reply actions  

and its full of canadians!

Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.

by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Oct 13, 2010 10:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

There's no black people in Toronto

I don’t know where you heard that misinformation.

Wait, wrong thread…

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Oct 13, 2010 10:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

shit i dont want a tornado full of canadians (or canadiens...) to run into me...

fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07

by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 13, 2010 10:17 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yeah, it's a vortex of beer and hockey scars...

…shit, when put that way it actually sounds like it’d be kinda cool.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 13, 2010 11:18 PM CDT up reply actions  

yeah... as much as i disagree with you on TS...

i think we have the same general feeling with regards to beer and survivable violence…

fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07

by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 14, 2010 12:17 AM CDT up reply actions  

Man, I should have read your reply to yourself sooner...

…I read the Toronto part like nine times while wracking my brain trying to figure out the reference, then gave up, figuring it was Mad Men or something (I really gotta start watching that so I get more BHGP jokes).
On the other hand, after talking Atari all day I kept reading the next part as “Giant Metroid” and couldn’t get the mask and arm cannon (only really big) out of my head.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 13, 2010 11:22 PM CDT up reply actions  

nope, no obscure reference

I just decided getting drunk at the library would funny and typos ensued.

/It did do a good job taking attention away from the political joke I probably wasn’t suppose to make.

Choke/Clutch is the fetishization of the small sample size.

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov

by shake n bake on Oct 14, 2010 12:07 AM CDT up reply actions  

I intentionally ignored that...

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Oct 14, 2010 12:19 AM CDT up reply actions  

Ah, but Jacobi still noticed.

I'm gonna give her my "D" face. Deeeee, deeee, deeee!
---Norm Parker

by hkobb7 on Oct 14, 2010 4:24 PM CDT up reply actions  

You know better.

People, no politics. I beseech thee.

Ceci n'est pas un blogue.

by Adam Jacobi on Oct 14, 2010 2:21 AM CDT up reply actions  

Mis-Captioned

That’s Forcier explaining to Robinson that that dreadlocked D-end hits like a pussy and he should tell him so to start the game.

by PDXMARTIN on Oct 13, 2010 6:52 PM CDT reply actions   1 recs

Is that an Abercrombie ad? Why are they wearing shirts?

"Have you ever had the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s Hot Pocket inside a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket."

by Kluginator on Oct 13, 2010 8:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yes

It’s obviously more about the sex appeal than a display of athleticism, especially with their pants. Gross.

by Omahawkeye on Oct 13, 2010 8:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

You're missing the point, dude.

It’s not about the pants per se. It’s the combination of pants and tight shirts with no pads. It is an absurd picture.

Asinine.

by Omahawkeye on Oct 14, 2010 2:29 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm fine with it

Let’s face it, sex sells. And it’s not like they’re pimping high school kids. What gets to me is high school wrestling and swim team posters in Hy Vee wearing their uniforms. I don’t think any high school should make those posters.

by PackerHawk on Oct 14, 2010 2:48 PM CDT up reply actions  

Or your offensive line in nothing but jockstraps

Which is how OMHR exploited their beefcake.

by PackerHawk on Oct 14, 2010 2:59 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

I hate you.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 14, 2010 5:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

Tate Forcier's real name....

 Taint Foreskin…. might be funny, might be dumb… my brother said it randomly one day and I thought it was funny

-David

by dtnordgren on Oct 13, 2010 8:35 PM CDT reply actions  

No need to equivocate

I think Taut Foreskin might be funnier, though not necessarily indicative of his flaccid performance.

by Omahawkeye on Oct 13, 2010 8:45 PM CDT up reply actions  

Why is #5 so happy?

Oh yeah, that picture was taken in August 2009.

Is it Saturday yet? I either need to sleep for 64.5 hours or BHGP needs to create more posts for me to read.

by Omahawkeye on Oct 13, 2010 9:39 PM CDT reply actions  

I feel you, man.

Work is so fuckin boring.

If I wanted a signature line, I would have asked for one... /facepalm

by hawkeye_heartattack on Oct 14, 2010 9:48 AM CDT up reply actions  

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

that’s a valid sentence, biatch.

Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.

by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Oct 13, 2010 10:03 PM CDT reply actions  

Jersey police Jersey police police police Jersey police

I can decipher that! Or, less cleanly:

Chicago politicians [that] Chicago politicians politic [will] politic Chicago politicians

I don’t think women do this kind of stupid shit. I think it’s related to the sexes’ relative beer consumption levels. As far as I can tell, Long Islands don’t foster these kinds of ridiculous pub conversations. Yep, that’s the only reason.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Oct 13, 2010 10:15 PM CDT up reply actions  

i came home from the bar

because my iphone died and i wanted more BHGP…

fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07

by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 13, 2010 10:25 PM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

someone wanna send me smoke signals during the game?

i think im gonna be canoeing in the MOFNW minnesota. or should i justify by being gone by saying its Disaster Robinson and honestly, the only game i feel like i can miss the rest of the year
(i LOVE watching the blodbath that has been brewster-stock — i was at glen masons last home game and it was less than pleasurable…)

fightin for president stanzi's fightin americanzis since his first 13 yards charge - syracuse '07

by metcalfrhymeswithblodbath on Oct 13, 2010 10:24 PM CDT reply actions  

All I'm saying is that...

4+3 = 7
3+3+5 = 11

How can you argue with that logic? It’s clear what defense is superior.

A Voice From Kinnick - A Hawkeye Blog

by mikjones24 on Oct 13, 2010 11:10 PM CDT reply actions  

SHIT.

Quick, someone tell Ferentz we’re allowed to FOUR MORE DUDES ON THE FIELD on defense. Holy fuck.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Oct 14, 2010 12:12 AM CDT up reply actions  

Why stop there

Let’s throw a couple more out there and be like Tennessee.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Oct 14, 2010 12:17 AM CDT up reply actions  

like that's going to happen

he’ll run a nickel package outside the redzone over Nomr Parker’s dead body.

Choke/Clutch is the fetishization of the small sample size.

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov

by shake n bake on Oct 14, 2010 12:24 AM CDT up reply actions  

*Norm

fuck me, I’m clearly staying until library closing time before even thinking about driving home.

Choke/Clutch is the fetishization of the small sample size.

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov

by shake n bake on Oct 14, 2010 12:25 AM CDT up reply actions  

you are drinking in the library?

No wonder I never passed research protocol… I should have drunk more.

by somerandom on Oct 14, 2010 12:34 AM CDT up reply actions  

I was

now I’m hoping I sober up before they close.

Don’t ask me why, it sounds like a funny idea at the time.

Choke/Clutch is the fetishization of the small sample size.

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov

by shake n bake on Oct 14, 2010 1:05 AM CDT up reply actions  

and I felt like an Alcoholic keeping a both a bottle of 151 rum and a bottle of triple sec in my room

though being drunk at the library really doesn’t help my “not an alcoholic” case.

Choke/Clutch is the fetishization of the small sample size.

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov

by shake n bake on Oct 14, 2010 1:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

Its okay.

I know several people here at MSU that got drunk in the library.

by ShawHall2006 on Oct 14, 2010 7:41 AM CDT up reply actions  

College students; tsk, tsk, tsk.

In my day if you were caught drinking in the library, they would cut you. Cut you bad.

"Have you ever had the Hot Pocket Hot Pocket? It’s Hot Pocket inside a Hot Pocket. Tastes just like a Hot Pocket."

by Kluginator on Oct 14, 2010 8:01 AM CDT up reply actions  

Studies show

that a small amount of alcohol helps memory retention, but severely impedes recall.

Drink during study, sober up for tests.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Oct 14, 2010 4:07 AM CDT up reply actions  

The caveat being, of course, "Small amount"

I'm gonna give her my "D" face. Deeeee, deeee, deeee!
---Norm Parker

by hkobb7 on Oct 14, 2010 4:27 PM CDT up reply actions  

Need four more defenders

Or, using mgomath, OVER HALF THE DEFENSE!!!!

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 14, 2010 1:27 AM CDT up reply actions   2 recs

It was my understanding there would be OMG BBQ

I vote for Oklahoma Joe’s in KC. Buffalo Bob’s in Lawrence is another good one.

Thoughts on this highly important issue?

"You think you can take me? Go ahead on. It's your move." -- Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III

by IPeeBlackAndGold on Oct 14, 2010 12:28 AM CDT reply actions  

The Back Room in Whitefish, MT or Chicken 'n More here is Spokane

TOUCHDOWN IOWA! TOUCHDOWN IOWA! - Gary Dolphin
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! - Jim Zabel

by SpoWAHawk on Oct 14, 2010 8:46 AM CDT up reply actions  

Bring up BBQ in Texas, Kansas City, Memphis or The Carolinas

and tell me it’s not politics.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 14, 2010 5:10 PM CDT up reply actions  

We can start our own debate here.

Dry or wet? I prefer dry, don’t need no sauce if the rub is good.

/lobs softball, steps awa

by PackerHawk on Oct 14, 2010 7:53 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

If the rub is good

and it’s been properly slow-smoked, then yes, sauce on the side and used sparingly.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 14, 2010 8:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

Ribs a la bechamel?

Or I guess not ribs so much as a drumstick.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Oct 15, 2010 8:43 AM CDT up reply actions  

I think they're having a convo

Denard-“Hey Tate, I’m gonna beat you out next year and be a Heisman contender”
Tate-“Ha. OK Denard. I suppose next you’re gonna tell me that a true freshman is going to beat me out for back up too huh?”
Denard-“Actually, I could see that.”
Tate-“Hahahaha….shit. I could too.”

THE MOON WALK WAS A HOAX. YOUR POPCORN IS SHIT. JOLLY TIME FOREVER. FUCK PURDUE-RossWB

by Pain in the Sash on Oct 14, 2010 12:35 PM CDT reply actions  

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