Hawkeye Withdrawal Test: Are you a fan ... or a freak?

A warm and fuzzy night's sleep could be yours in this handsome Hawkeye bedding ensemble, available at the Coralville Wal-mart. Bed not included.

Now that football season is over, some of you might begin to experience some depression. A little melancholy over the end of the football season is to be expected this time of year, but anything more than that might signal something a bit more alarming. Take the following test to see if you have a healthy relationship with the Iowa Hawkeyes.


Total your score from each question to see where you fall on the Hawkeye Dependency Scale (HDS) at the end of the test.

Which of the following best reflects you? (select one that best applies)

(1 point)   I read the occasional post about the Hawkeyes at the Black Hearts Gold Pants (BHGP) blog site.

(2 points)   I read most posts at the BHGP.

(5 points)   I read and comment on all posts, fanshots, and fanposts at BHGP.

(10 points)   BHGP is my homepage and I've programmed by computer to refresh it every 13-15 seconds. 


More after the jump...

Which of the following rituals do you perform? (include all that apply)

(1 point)   Replace Hawkeye sticker in the window of my car on the first Friday of every football season.

(2 points)   Wear Hawkeye paraphernalia to bed the night before a game and on just about every other night.

(5 points)   Sing the Iowa Fight Song before every meal that includes a starch or grain.

(7 points)   Treat Irritable Bowl Syndrome by watching 1984 Freedom Bowl clips. 

(10 points)   Make daily pilgrimage to stadium to rub Nile Kinnick statue for good luck.

(10 points)   Shave a Tigerhawk into my back hair the first of every month.


I am doing or have done the following: (include all that apply)

(2 points)   Dress-up as Norm Parker for Halloween.

(5 points)   Painted my car black & yellow with Tigerhawks metal stamped on the hood and trunk.

(5 points)   Wear Hawkeye cheerleading outfit on casual Fridays.

(5 points)   Write poems about Markus Zusevics.

(7 points)    Make and sell Kirk Ferentz figurines on eBay.

(12 points)   Named son Nile and daughter Chuck.

(15 points)   Own a real pet Tigerhawk, named Trixi.


Have you ever stalked an Iowa Hawkeye football player? (include all that apply)

(2 points)   Of course not, unless Facebook counts.

(5 points)    I have innocently followed players around the Hy-Vee just to see what they're like in real life.

(10 points)   I keep running into Ken O'Keefe, like everywhere he goes, accidentally on purpose.

(15 points)   I find myself sleeping outside Adrian Clayborn's dorm room a bit more than maybe I should.

(20 points)    I cannot answer at this time, per advice from my lawyer.


Given the choice between the following, you choose: (select one that best applies)

(1 points)   Watching Hawkeyes play or spending a Saturday with your friends, you choose the Hawkeyes.

(2 points)    Watching Hawkeyes play or spending a Saturday with your significant other, you choose the Hawkeyes.

(5 points)    Watching Hawkeyes play or being the best man at your friend's wedding, you choose the Hawkeyes.

(10 points)   Watching Hawkeyes play or driving your injured/sick mother to the emergency room, you call 911 and give directions to her home to the dispatcher, and then watch the Hawkeyes.


(TRUE OR FALSE)  I have a Shane DiBona fathead in my room:

(0 points)   FALSE

(25 points)   TRUE




[0 - 25 points]  You have a casual but healthy interest in the Iowa Hawkeyes.

[25 - 50 points]  May I suggest you offset your focus on the Hawkeyes with a hobby or a slightly more active social life?

[50 - 75 points]  My friend, you need electroconvulsive therapy. Immediately.

[75+ points]   Congratulations! You're the new I-CLUB President for 2010. 

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