Kirk Ferentz Addresses His Players




The setting: A locker room in south Florida, minutes after the final team practice

‘On Iowa’ …………. Be seated.

Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a football game by dying for his team. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his school. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about Iowa not deserving to play, needing to stay out of the BCS, is a lot of horse dung. Iowans traditionally love to fight. All real Iowans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the Tim Dwight's, the Chuck Long's, the Bob Sander's, the Warren Halloway's. Iowans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Iowans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Ricky Stanzi has never lost a game he started and finished this season and will never lose a game that he starts and finishes. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Tyler Motherfucking Sash, and he will have Pat Angerer make you pay.

Now, a team is an army. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the World's Worst Liars don’t know anything more about real football than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest fans and stadium, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to pick apart the bastards, we’re going to unleash Adrian Clayborn on them and use their lifeless bodies to grease the Offensive Line's innards. We’re going to murder those lousy Southern bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out against the Triple Option. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Yellowjackets are the enemy. Fly into them like Bob Sanders did. Spill their blood. Plant your helmet into their belly. When you put your hands into the air that a moment before did not have a football streaking at you, you'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are turning the ball over. We’re not turning the ball over. Let the Yellowjackets do that. We are getting pressure on Nesbitt and we’re not interested in half-heartedly tackling. We're going to punch them in the nose and we're going to kick them in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of them the entire game and we're gonna go through the Yellowjackets offensive line like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great Orange Bowl of 2010, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Atlanta."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.

That’s all.


Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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