With the 2009 season complete, BHGP looks back at the ten most sublimely absurd moments of the past decade for this sublimely absurd team, counting them down over the next two weeks.
Once, when I was about 11 or 12 years old, my family took a summer vacation to Chicago. Being typical baseball-crazy tourists, we ate dinner at Harry Caray's Restaurant and Bar our first night in town. I ordered a cheeseburger and a Coke. The cheeseburger was average, and the Coke tasted funny. When I started running into walls, my parents realized their son had been accidentally given a double Captain & Coke. So what I'm saying is, I know what it's like to be accidentally overserved.
So, too, does Iowa defensive back Shaun Prater. In early 2009, Prater was picked up for DUI on a Friday night in Iowa City. He blew a relatively tame (at least by Iowa football standards) .134 on the scene, and had the typical litany of telltale signs (bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, smelled like my Uncle Charlie at 3:00 on Christmas Eve). When asked about his alcohol consumption, Prater pled ignorance:
"Prater told police his bartender "must have put alcohol in his Coca-Cola," the report said."
That's right: Prater went downtown for an exciting night of guzzling fountain soda at a local establishment, then -- obviously not knowing what it feels like to be intoxicated and thinking he'd just gotten some really good carbonated water -- he got behind the wheel and headed home. It's not his fault he was running into walls after ignoring the fact that his Coke tasted funny; it's that damnable Harry Caray's.