Great Moments in 2000's Iowa Football -- No. 10: Parking Gate-Gate

With the 2009 season complete, BHGP looks back at the ten most sublimely absurd moments of the past decade for this sublimely absurd team, counting them down all week.

Drunkybunch_medium

Ah, the spring of 2009.  The weather was warming, the snow was melting, the birds were returning, and the football players were getting sloppy drunk and breaking shit:

According to University of Iowa Department of Public Safety Associate Director Bill Searls and criminal complaints, Zachary Merlin Derby, 19, and Tyler Allen Christiansen, 19, both of Hillcrest Residence Hall, approached an off-duty UI police officer and attempted to pick a fight with him. The incident happened about 2 a.m. in the Old Capitol Parking Ramp.
[...]
After being read his Miranda rights, police said Christensen admitted breaking off the arm of a parking ramp gate at the parking ramp.

Searls said while officers were speaking with Derby and Christensen, James Ferentz, 19, also of Hillcrest Residence Hall, came out of the parking lot and was "yelling and screaming," though not necessarily at anyone. According to police reports, Ferentz had watery eyes and smelled of alcohol. Police said Ferentz had a blood-alcohol level of .160.

Police said Derby had a blood-alcohol level between .207 and .211 percent.

That's wet-the-bed drunk, and the accompanying destruction -- a parking gate and, if they had their way, a cop -- was as unnecessary and scattershot as can be expected under those trying circumstances.  To take such action was ballsy; to do so in the Old Capitol ramp at 2 a.m., in the view of the highest concentration of cops per square foot of any area in the state, was the drunken rampaging equivalent of a Les Miles fourth quarter playcall.  Huzzah to you all, gentlemen, though the fact that the only one of these guys who will ever play was merely "yelling and screaming" at no one in particular is slightly disappointing.  C'mon, Ferentz, you couldn't kick out the headlight on a Prius or something?

Also, we found out Zach Derby's middle name is Merlin, which is sweet.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker