Terrelle Pryor Gets Called for Jury Duty

12-angry-men-pryor_medium

Nightcourtjudgeicon_medium   I want to thank you again for your service.  I know that jury duty is occasionally inconvenient, but your participation is crucial to our judicial system.  You have heard the prosecution.  You have heard the defense.  First degree murder is the charge.  Justice is now in your hands.  Bailiff!
Bullicon_medium   Yes sir!
Nightcourtjudgeicon_medium   Please escort the jury to the anteroom for deliberations.

-- The jury is escorted to an adjacent room, where they select a foreman.  The foreman then proposes a vote. --

12-angry-menicon1_medium   We have tallied the votes
12-angry-menicon1_medium   10 votes for guilty, 2 votes for not guilty.
12-angry-menicon6_medium   Two votes for not guilty?!?  Who voted not guilty?!?  Are you people insane?!?
Henryfonda_medium   Let's not be so quick to jump to conclusions.
12-angry-menicon2_medium   Conclusions?  It's obvious!  He's guilty as sin!
Henryfonda_medium   Well, the standard of proof is beyond a reasonable doubt.  Are you certain that standard has been met?
Pryoricon_medium   YOU TELL THEM JANE FONDA

Henryfonda_medium   Um, it's Henry Fonda.
Pryoricon_medium   HANOI JANE AND TP IN THE HIZZY!
Henryfonda_medium   Uh...right.  OK, where were we?
12-angry-menicon6_medium   Reasonable doubt.
Henryfonda_medium   Right, reasonable doubt.  Well, for instance, what about the blood at the crime scene?  It didn't match the victim or the defendant.
12-angry-menicon3_medium   Hmm, that's a valid point.
Henryfonda_medium   And then there was the murder weapon, a knife registered to the victim's former lover...
12-angry-menicon4_medium   Yes, that struck me as strange.
Henryfonda_medium   And the eyewitness, who could not identify the defendant...
12-angry-menicon5_medium   Yes, that is certainly a lingering doubt.
Henryfonda_medium   I'm just saying, when you add up the
Pryoricon_medium    LET ME TAKE IT FROM HERE EASY RIDER
Henryfonda_medium   That was Peter Fonda.
Pryoricon_medium   WHAT CRAZY LARRY IS TRYING TO SAY IS, NOT EVERYONE IS A PERFECT PERSON IN THE WORLD.  EVERYONE KILLS PEOPLE, MURDER PEOPLE, STEALS FROM YOU, STEALS FROM ME, WHATEVER.
Henryfonda_medium   ...
12-angry-menicon1_medium   ...
12-angry-menicon6_medium   ...
12-angry-menicon5_medium   ...

12-angry-menicon4_medium  Tell us more, young man.

Pryoricon_medium   SHIT YEAH MIKA VICK

--After 15 minutes of intense deliberation, the jury reconvenes in the courtroom.--

Nightcourtjudgeicon_medium   Have you reached a verdict, gentlemen?

12-angry-menicon1_medium   Yes sir, your honor.

Pryoricon_medium   ARF ARF

12-angry-menicon1_medium   On the count of first degree murder by carving the word "TREMENDOUS" into the victim's heart, we the jury, find the defendant...

Nightcourtjudgeicon_medium   ...

12-angry-menicon1_medium   ...

Bullicon_medium   ...

Icongoldy1_medium   ...

Icongoldy2_medium   ...

Brewstericon_medium   GOPHER

12-angry-menicon1_medium   Not guilty!

Brewstericon_medium   BEST FIGHT WIN CHAMPION TRY GOPHER NATION FAT PAT WIN TREMENDOUS LOCKER ROOM

Iconsexycop_medium   WHAT?! You've got to be kidding me! We found him with the bloody knife! He clearly killed Banker Ted Dibiase!

Pryoricon_medium   LIKE I SAID IN THAT CAR THAT DONT MOVE

Nightcourtjudgeicon_medium   That's called a room.

Pryoricon_medium   NOT EVERYONE IS A PERFECT PERSON IN THE WORLD. EVERYONE KILLS PEOPLE, MURDER PEOPLE, STEALS FROM YOU, STEALS FROM ME, WHATEVER.

Iconsexycop_medium   That's literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

12-angry-menicon1_medium   Is it?

Iconsexycop_medium   This man just committed a grisly murder, and now Mr. DiBiase can no longer LHAO about having money!

12-angry-menicon1_medium   Sorry, Sexy Cop, but that doesn't mean "guilty" to us.

Pryoricon_medium   NOT GUILTY YALL GOT TO FEEL ME

Icongoldy1_mediumIcongoldy2_medium   HOORAY! Our plan worked! TCF Bank Stadium is saved!

Brewstericon_medium   BEST GOPHER I GOT AWAY WITH MURDER ITS A TREMENDOUS LIFE CHAMPION TRY

--fin--

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