Daily Iowan Fails Harder Than Anybody Has Ever Failed Before

by Oops Pow Surprise on Sep 3, 2009 3:39 PM CDT in Football Comment 44 comments

Our headline may be somewhat of an exaggeration, but not by much. The FAIL is jaw-dropping on this one; see if you can find where someone at the Daily Iowan (and their editor!) may have been paying less-than-perfect attention to the article and sports on the whole:

O’Meara played in 10 games for the Hawkeyes last season, which included an impressive performance against Florida International on Sept. 5. The former Cedar Rapids Washington prep rushed for 241 yards and gained 512 yards total offense in the 42-0 shutout of the Golden Panthers at Kinnick Stadium.

Hang on... we remember the FIU game, and no, Paki O'Meara did not account for 512 total yards all by himself. Not at all. That would definitely be a college football record, and everybody at Kinnick would have shit their pants until all of their internal organs were splayed across the bleacher benches if Paki Fucking O'Meara had actually done that against any opponent other than a team made of housecats.

IF YOU'RE WONDERING, PART 1: O'Meara's actual numbers were 3 rushes for 20 yards and one touchdown. That's less than 4% of the DI's claim.

IF YOU'RE WONDERING, PART 2: Here's how O'Meara's bio reads on HawkeyeSports.com:

"...one-yard run for run for first career touchdown . . . saw action in 42-0 win over Florida International as offense rushed for 241 yards and gained 512 yards total offense . . . rushed three times for 20 yards vs. FIU, including a 17-yard scoring run in the first quarter . . . saw action in 17-5 win...."

Clipped for relevance, of course, but you can see where the poor reporter (Amie Kiehn, if you were curious) made her mistake. But come on. That is F-minus fail. She, her editor, and the editor's boss should be sacked. No, that's not true. They should resign out of pure shame. 512 yards of offense all by himself?! Really?

We eagerly await the DI's correction tomorrow. Not because we want justice served or the truth to reign supreme or anything mind you; we just really enjoy newspapers' corrections of preposterous mistakes. This, readers, would qualify.

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Holy Balls Hell

Paki for Heisman. 512 yards cannot be ignored. Thank God Jewel got hurt, that’s all I will say.

by Life as a G on Sep 3, 2009 3:47 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Good Luck

Finding a correction….they used my name, address, and place of work years ago when reporting a domestic violence crime…it wasn’t even me….i demanded a correction on the front page, or at least somewhere it could be easily found….they put it somewhere so obscure that it took me a while to find it….oh, and by the way, they admitted the error but refused to appologise to me.

RJ_

by John Hartlieb is stiil a stud! on Sep 3, 2009 3:51 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

wow

and i thought the iowa state daily had piss poor editing

"Stats from the spring," he said when handed the numbers. "I can take those down to the spare bathroom in the house. We can put them to use down there."
- Paul Rhoads

by tseyb_06 on Sep 3, 2009 3:55 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

“O’Meara played in 10 games for the Hawkeyes last season, which included an impressive performance against Northern Iowa on Sept. 5. The former Cedar Rapids Washington prep rushed for 241 yards and gained 512 yards total offense in the 42-0 shutout of the ~~Golden~~ Panthers at Kinnick Stadium.”

Fixed. They were just seeing the future.

storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."

by Hawkeye State on Sep 3, 2009 3:57 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

So O'Meara will throw for 271 yards?

That’s a crapload of halfback option plays.

by Cairo on Sep 3, 2009 4:22 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

There's a metric fuckton of receiving yards in there, too

THE PAKIBOMB is like Aikman, Smith, and Irvin all rolled into one. Only, you know, without the gray hair and drug problems.

storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."

by Hawkeye State on Sep 3, 2009 4:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

KOK has a new playbook.

It’s the Wildcat that StoopsMyAss thinks we’ll be seeing on Saturday. One play. Paki in wildcat or Spread HD formation, not Wegher or McNutt. KOK learned it from re-watching Penn State footage of Derrick Williams. Only Paki is 30 times better at executing it.

Oh – and the new offensive set is no longer known as the Wildcat. It is now forever known as the Paki-Bomb set.

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Sep 3, 2009 4:34 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

What if...

What if Paki, Oh I dunno, Merely gains 512 yards against the Penn State Nittany Housecats on the 26th? What kind of wound would that be to them?

Paki O’Merely a flesh wound?

That's great. Who are the Chefs?

by Give Eddie a Beer on Sep 3, 2009 4:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

What if I could scat out Santa Claus?

It’d be Christmas every day.

by Cairo on Sep 3, 2009 4:15 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Just when I was starting to un-clench..

It’s not fair. I finally got over my fear of the color Greene, and now I have to be ready for this? It’s just not right.

by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Sep 3, 2009 4:16 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

At Least

You’re fearing someone named after a weapon. That would cause me to clench too…

They took the bar, the whole damn bar!

by recoveringfratguy on Sep 3, 2009 4:35 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

This surely is not possible.

But you linked to it, and I read it.

If ever there were an argument for attending community college (where, in about 5 years, an unfortunate number of our best actual professional sportswriters will be working) this is it.

Maybe she is auditioning to work for MGoBlog.com? Who knows?

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Sep 3, 2009 4:41 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

The Daily Iowa is really bad and I wish they would stop leaving it outside my door.

by NorseHawk on Sep 3, 2009 4:45 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I think this is the time to...

post the obligatory “women shouldn’t be writing about football” comment.

Even if nobody on this board agrees, at least I know I have one other person in my corner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoMmbUmKN0E

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Sep 3, 2009 5:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

The guy I worked for at the DI

graduated and went straight to the Wall Street Journal.

Something tells me Ms. Kiehn will not be. Of course, there’s always the DSM Register.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Sep 3, 2009 5:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Actually...

she’s not enough of a hack to write for the Register.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Sep 3, 2009 5:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Chazz-man

if you’re going to assert your Iowa-ness, you need to work on your sense of I-rony. I-owa humor is ironic funny, not Ha-Ha Funny. Ha-Ha-Funny: that’s a West Virginia thing.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Sep 3, 2009 5:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Bellanca-dude...

I was just commenting to bust the DI writer’s chops, not to start an argument with you.

And I reserve the right to be any kind of funny I can be, as OPS and HState have often reminded me when I am not.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Sep 3, 2009 5:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Peace.

I’ve exhausted my intertube argument-quota for the entire month — on the 3rd!

Here’s a small sip of Templeton Rye, in your direction, Chazz-man.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Sep 3, 2009 5:35 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Your quota was sure to...

be reached early when you fired off the hilarity you have at RichRod.

Keep up the good work!

A sip in your direction also. I’m drinking a can of Arizona Iced Tea/Lemonade named after Arnold Palmer. It was 2 for $1 at the store.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Sep 3, 2009 5:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Mmm. Templeton Rye.

That’s a smooth whiskey right there. And having grown up in Carroll County, a product I’m happy to purchase in support of the hometown economy.

You gotta do your small part.

by DonnyDonovan on Sep 3, 2009 11:19 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

It is also motherfucking impossible to find right now

They have, like, waiting lists and shit. I saw a bottle at Beer Crazy in Urbandale a few months ago and sprinted across the room to grab it, then hugged it too my chest and looked around no one was waiting to steal it from me. And then grabbed a 6 pack of various Millstream beers to complete my contribution to the Iowa economy.

by NorseHawk on Sep 4, 2009 6:01 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Come to Chicago.

Binny’s has it. Makes me happy

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Sep 4, 2009 6:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Stop hanging out in the big city, if you want to find Templeton Rye.

My getaway place is way out in NW Iowa (and no, I am not saying where, because I want to protect my access to Templeton Rye) and my gas station-cum-liquor store always has a few bottles. In researching this, because you have to research it, and that includes talking to the drivers who make deliveries for the state, they are on a geographical quota system. So your odds go up the farther you are from locales with lots of Lexii and BMVays. I think the thing to do is ask the liquor stores who always sell out when they are going to get their next delivery. Then drive 50 miles into the hinterlands, then, and you’ll find some.

So go where you least expect to find customers for fancy I-rye, and you will find fancy I-rye.

There’s a story in this somewhere. Perhaps KOK is secretly a Templeton Rye aficionado, and the demented unstoppable I-offense is fueled by I-Rye. Imagine, a single light bulb, a lonely genius, misunderstood by all, slowly twisting that unfiltered Lucky at the the old linoleum kitchen table, scripting the first 15 plays while Buddy and Julie MIller croon in the background, the rhythm of that initial I-Hawk drive taking shape as the amber liquid cools in the old-fashioned glass. Remember, Pete Carroll feared that I-offense, back then. Just a thought.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Sep 4, 2009 9:25 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Chazz man

if you’re going to assert your Iowa-ne

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Sep 3, 2009 5:25 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Bellanca with return button fail?

Never thought I’d see the day. Has to be your shortest comment ever!

(I keed, I keed…)

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Sep 3, 2009 7:27 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Good idea, OPS,

…but you know as well as I do that Iowa almost never sacks people.

by Bucketochicken on Sep 3, 2009 8:17 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Is it fair

to blame the entire collapse of the newspaper industry in Ms. Kiehn, and Ms. Kiehn alone? in a word… yes.

by Angle's Dangle on Sep 3, 2009 10:12 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Chill

As a former DI reporter, it did surprise me to see this today in the paper. Amie is a very talented writer and a really intelligent girl who obviously made an error. I’m surprised the editor overlooked the mistake, as I caught it as soon as I read the article, but it happens. The DI is still worlds better than the Press-Citizen and actually is one of the best student newspapers in the country. If you look up Pacemaker award winners (the student equivalent of the Pulitzer), you’ll see evidence of this.

I check cheddar like a food inspector

by SpanishJohnny on Sep 3, 2009 11:17 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Hold on here...Sergio

I don’t think people are really and truely directing their ire toward the young lady or even her sportswriting. Oh, and I don’t think anyone here is sincerely displeased with the crackerjack work by the DI, or lack thereof. No, I think the real alarm being expressed here, albeit a bit awkwardly, is with the admissions process at Iowa. One would think we could have prevented this from ever happening right there.

[wink, wink]

Zed: You could be my right-hand man.
Oh: I've seen what you do with your right hand. No, thank you.

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 4, 2009 12:45 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Another take

I have no interest in verifying the merits of the reporter, but sloppy writing is sloppy writing. If someone was as loose with relative simplicity of statistics here, on a blog, they’d get hammered. However, because the DI is better than the P-C readers should let it go? Transitive property is not my specialty, but I don’t think one follows the other. Besides, it’s mocking fodder.

by txhawkeye on Sep 4, 2009 8:36 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

This isn't a referendum on the DI as a whole

Full disclosure: I’m also a former DI reporter who wants to see the paper do well.

THAT SAID, this was an unambiguously enormous mistake, and one that someone with even a casual knowledge of football just wouldn’t make. And how the editor also let it slide is just a fucking mystery.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Sep 4, 2009 9:48 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I was more just trying to defend the integrity of the publication as a whole than this particular case. I mentioned this mistake myself to a couple of my friends who are still on the sports staff.

I just have a hard time reading comments like the one left below this. As if being a company hack makes you a “writer.”

Also, Spanishjohhny is a character from a Boss song.

I check cheddar like a food inspector

by SpanishJohnny on Sep 4, 2009 9:56 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

And that’s why I write for Hawkeyesports.com instead of the DI

What a joke.

Hawkeyes n Cowboys. Bleeding Black, Gold, Sliver and Blue since 1987.

by HawksFlyHigh on Sep 3, 2009 11:51 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

UPDATE - GREENE FAKEOUT

There is a correction in the sports section. BUT on the Pregame inset they always do every Friday before a game, the full page roster lists “Greene #23” as starting runningback. I KNEW IT I KNEW IT HE’S BACK WOOHOO ROSEBOWL

Also significant, Stanzi has decided to change his number to #6. Seriously DI?

And when the machine breaks down, we break down.

by victorypolka on Sep 4, 2009 1:09 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

So, I guess these last two days have shown us...

That former DI writers care about the DI, but that current DI staff can’t be bothered to proofread and edit.

Also, a question for anyone who knows: Does the DI run Mondays thru Fridays? I was talking with a friend who attended UI a few years ago, and that is what he said, but I thought I would confirm it here. When I went to UNI, we only had the Northern Iowan 2 or 3 times per week.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Sep 4, 2009 5:11 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

JESUS CHRIST.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Sep 4, 2009 6:26 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

You have to admit...

it would be funny if it was Daily and did not run so (excluding weekends, of course).

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Sep 4, 2009 6:38 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

For the record

I was “Christing” the error that polka pointed out, not your post. Not even you have failed as hard as listing Greene at tailback.

As for your question, yes, I think it’s M-F.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Sep 4, 2009 9:57 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

H.

You left out the ‘H.’

Has the DI gone the satire route?

Did they really do that? Did they get the date right at the top of the page? Is relevance now require some post-modern parody of journalistic attention to — I don’t know — generally accepted reality? Do they only publish ‘news’?

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Sep 4, 2009 9:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

First game of the year

and they can’t even copy the roster correctly?

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Sep 4, 2009 7:04 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sticking to my "Daily Iowan stinks" stance

I don’t care if they are winning awards for being one of the best college newspapers, that’s like complimenting Troy for being the smartest Davis brother.

by NorseHawk on Sep 4, 2009 7:14 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs