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Top Ten Reasons Iowa Will Lose to Pennsylvania State University

 

10. Irrelevance. After they way Iowa utterly embarrassed the conference in week one it only stands to reason that they've been shipped off permanently to football rankings Siberia. So superfluous is this Iowa team at this point, that at his Tuesday press conference the Brooklyn-born Paterno responded to a question about his upcoming opponent by correcting a reporter as to the proper pronunciation of Iowa. Said Paterno, "Anyone here from Brooklyn? In Brooklyn we pronounce it O-hi-o!"  Paterno went on to declare his team "ready for the Vandals."

9. Linebacker U. Penn State (as they are known to their fans) is a veritable linebacker factory that has produced players that correspond somewhat favorably to the likes of Ray Lewis, Michael Barrow, Jessie Armstead, Nate Webster, Dan Morgan, and Jonathan Vilma...or Junior Seau, Willie McGinest, Jack Del Rio...you get the picture. So expect Penn State's linebackers to not only wreak havoc on Iowa's offense, but also to call the coin toss, lead the team in rushing and passing, and play the tubas and Glockenspiel at halftime.

8. Dangerous Liaisons. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And from the instant Daniel Murray completed his flamboyantly effete knee slide at midfield in Kinnick last year, Penn State has been wrathfully plotting their reprisal. Expect the Nittany Lions to apply a cold, detached surgical extraction of Hawkeye hearts. If the Hawks continue to arrive at opponent campuses in their customary jungle fatigues, flashing gangster signs to Ferentz's favored tune, N.W.A.'s "Fuck the Police," then you can expect more teams to make use of the revenge stratagem in preparation for the Hawks.

7. "Ward, go easy on the Beaver." The Nittany Lions play in the largest football stadium in North America, and third largest in the world. Beaver Stadium as it is called, is not named after a semi-aquatic rodent or even after the beloved TV character made famous by Jerry Mathers. It is apparently named for former Pennsylvania governor and one-time interim University President, James "Sugar Walls" Beaver who was known as Ole Pink Eye by his closest acquaintances. When those fans, considered the 107,282nd man by players and coaches, collectively recite their message of dread with the famous cheer "We are...Penn State" directed squarely at the opposition, it is nothing short of...a patently obvious claim that seems truthful and accurate.

6. Grassy Knoll. Most cite the 100,000+ fans in all white going hoarse in support of their Nittany Lions as the reason for Penn State's well regarded home field advantage. But hard-core football aficionados know better. Penn State's true home field advantage is actually the field itself. PSU has the preeminent Turfgrass Management program in the country and they deploy their top turf scientists to the grass field at Beaver Stadium, under a top-secret project called, Operation Cheating Bastards. Of course, some argue there is no conflict of ethics in exploiting such knowledge and insight in order to gain a competitive advantage. But make no mistake, they leverage their expertise to perfect surface hardness, manipulate traction, you name it, all in an effort to uneven the playing field. Expect the surface on Saturday to be a cross between a Peruvian jungle and a lunar landscape, or look something like this. Iowa trainers would be wise to bring metal golf spikes, Chuck Taylor high-tops, and a machete if they want give the Hawkeyes any chance at moving the ball downfield.

5. Evan Royster. Royster is most certainly not your garden-variety tailback; he is a Renaissance athlete. Case in point, despite a prolific high school football career, Royster came within a lion's whisker of focusing his athletic energies exclusively on lacrosse. This is just one way in which Royster is reminiscent of another homo universalis, football star Jim Brown. The Syracuse All-American's lacrosse exploits would ultimately earn him entrance to the Lacrosse Hall of Fame. Other similarities Royster shares with Brown include a passion for art, civil rights issues and thinking he is faster than Franco Harris.

4. Joe Paterno. The man, the myth, the Methuselah. Since the turn of the century (not this century, but last century) every Pennsylvania schoolboy has at one time or another dreamed of one day playing for Joe Pa, and no one has had a sharper eye for in-state talent than Paterno. He saw Jim Kelly's enormous potential as a linebacker (when no one else did!), and he correctly envisioned success for an assortment of Keystone QBs like George Blanda, Johnny Unitas, Joe Namath, Dan Marino, and Joe Montana--just not at Penn State.

3. A team only Hawkeye Pierce would love! While most of Iowa's best players are in the M*A*S*H* unit receiving treatment for mystery ailments, what's left is a threadbare assemblage of recruiting busts, gray shirts, and walk-ons. Expect something akin to the Huron massacre at Fort William Henry.

2. Big 10 Dominance. Since joining the Big Ten in 1993 the Nittany Lions have run roughshod over the conference. Bringing their long, proud tradition of winning football to the down trodden Big Ten has not only raised the conference's profile but produced numerous National Championship opportunities, for other Big Ten teams. Penn State has feasted in particular on the lowly Hawkeyes as evidenced by their head-to-head record against Kirk Ferentz-led Iowa teams. Look for them to bring all that history and success to bear on Saturday.

1. QB guru, Jay Paterno. Need I say more?

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

Comment 111 comments  |  4 recs  | 

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Well done, sir

I LOLed.

NittanyWhiteOut.com. Arguably the second best Penn State blog I know of.

by PSUdevon on Sep 23, 2009 11:48 AM CDT reply actions  

We would try it

We would certainly try it.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 24, 2009 7:51 AM CDT up reply actions  

Dennis Onkotz, Jack Ham, Charlie Zapiec, John Skorupan, Ed O’Neil, Greg Buttle, Kurt Allerman, Lance Mehl, Chet Parlavechio, Scott Radecic, Shane Conlan, Trey Bauer, Andre Collins, LaVar Arrington, Paul Posluszny, Dan Connor.

I hate Miami.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 23, 2009 12:24 PM CDT reply actions  

You forgot Butkus!

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 23, 2009 1:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

ED O"NEIL!!!

I thought he played RB at Polk High and once scored 3 touchdowns in a single game…

by vahawk on Sep 23, 2009 1:49 PM CDT up reply actions  

Hell, I dunno

Maybe we cloned him.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 23, 2009 1:58 PM CDT up reply actions  

Al Bundy

played LB at PSU? Cool.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 23, 2009 2:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

little known fact...

…he worked as a deputy in a rural georgia sheriff’s department before relocating to chicago.

by kleph on Sep 25, 2009 8:45 PM CDT up reply actions  

QB.....

and it was 4 touchdowns in a single game

by Gustav on Sep 23, 2009 2:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

Didn't he date Serena?

Can you imagine those kids?

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 23, 2009 3:22 PM CDT up reply actions  

Offspring of LaVar/Serena

Would give you a career ending concussion while ramming a tennis ball down your throat.

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Sep 23, 2009 3:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

The coaches didn’t know how to use him.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 23, 2009 4:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

Dan Connor?

John Goodman played him on Rosanne!

by Buddy Light on Sep 23, 2009 3:55 PM CDT up reply actions  

You're right about Murray.

PSU probably thinks if some skinny kicker is going to knee slide in celebration, he ought to at least rip off his jersey, revealing that he is in fact Mia Hamm wearing a bra.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Sep 23, 2009 1:21 PM CDT reply actions  

The slide was originally by Brandy Chastaine (s.p?)

but if you’re more into Mia Hamm they by all means…

by Argulor on Sep 23, 2009 3:54 PM CDT up reply actions  

Quick fact...

Penn State is 15-27 against Iowa, Ohio State, and Michigan since joining the conference.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 23, 2009 1:38 PM CDT reply actions  

Those teams all built up their record against us because we sucked for 5 straight years.

Times are changing, brah! RichRodJayPa will turn us into a machine!

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 23, 2009 1:47 PM CDT up reply actions  

Quick question:

Was that the first 5 years in a row that Michigan was beating PSU, or the next 5 years? Inquiring minds, etc.

by Dave314 on Sep 23, 2009 5:41 PM CDT up reply actions  

Aww, how cute

You people haven’t beaten Ohio State in so long that you try to start a pissing contest on an Iowa blog.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 23, 2009 9:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

It was only...

3 tries ago that we beat them.

by Duez I say on Sep 24, 2009 9:51 AM CDT up reply actions  

I'm pretty sure that

Rambler was referring to Michigan, not Iowa

by PSUMark2008 on Sep 24, 2009 10:16 AM CDT up reply actions  

Yes

Judging by his previous comment, it seems that Dave314 is a Michigan fan.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 24, 2009 10:36 AM CDT up reply actions  

lolz

You Iowa guys/gals are just too cute.

Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."

by Roland86 on Sep 23, 2009 3:36 PM CDT reply actions  

My theme song after last year's Penn Scchhtate game

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1hZVDLkJDc

PSU had no fear of the underdog. That’s why they did not survive. So do they have fear this year?

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Sep 23, 2009 4:42 PM CDT reply actions  

thanks....

thought something looked off.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 23, 2009 6:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

but we got lift for life
and this guy

http://blog.pennlive.com/joehermitt/2009/07/large_lift14.jpg

"Want a donut go to dunkin donuts, want a linebacker go to Penn State." - Chris Carter

by xozte on Sep 23, 2009 7:35 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yup

We’re also the only Big11Ten school not not participating in THON, which is um, kind of a big deal.

by PSUMark2008 on Sep 23, 2009 8:38 PM CDT up reply actions  

Nice

one day the Nittaly Lions will digest the tasty reality that they’re just another football team in the Big Ten. Maybe this Saturday.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 24, 2009 2:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

Reply fail

I meant to say:

Well yes, there are lots of imitations – I know at least Rutgers has one too – but none of them are the same thing as THON.

I could go into details why, but somehow it seems weird/perverse to start a pissing contest over charitable efforts.

I’m not sure how Iowa having a dance marathon connects to our football team (except maybe that our football team always supports THON), but I wouldn’t talk about being “just another football team” when yours stands barely above 0.500 all time, hasn’t had an undefeated season since the 1920s, and hasn’t won what would now be considered a BCS bowl since the 1950s. I’ll concede that you’ve “owned us” under Ferentz, but beyond that, you’re the definition of “just another football team.”

by PSUMark2008 on Sep 25, 2009 12:13 AM CDT up reply actions  

And on that note

Just wanted to add a fun fact: The last time you were undefeated, JoePa wasn’t even born yet.

Now that, ladies and gentlemen, was a long time ago.

by PSUMark2008 on Sep 25, 2009 12:17 AM CDT up reply actions  

I think you meant

The last time you went undefeated, JoePa wasn’t even born yet. Because we’re undefeated right now baby!

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Sep 25, 2009 2:03 AM CDT up reply actions  

There's Penn State history

and then there’s Penn State BIG TEN history. Pay attention now Mark.

The Penn State BIG TEN History is the part of your history that you are just another football team. In fact, Penn State and Iowa have almost identical resumes in the time you have been in the conference.

I’ve noticed that the reality of Joe Pa’s resume in the time PSU has ben in the Big Ten does not sit well with you folks. Oh well…you’re have Jay Paterno soon enough and I am sure you’ll get right back to the glory years.

In the meantime, it wouldn’t hurt your argument if you were (beginning Saturday) to do better than the 16-27 record you have against Iowa, Michigan, and Ohio State since you have joined the BIG TEN.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 25, 2009 6:27 AM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

Oh, and regarding JoePa hating sick children

JoePa speaks at THON 09

That was a surprise visit too. That crowd wasn’t there to see him. That’s how big THON is at PSU.

by PSUMark2008 on Sep 23, 2009 9:08 PM CDT up reply actions  

It's the Big Ten for a reason...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 23, 2009 8:56 PM CDT reply actions  

That's always cracked me up

“Okay fine, you can join, but you don’t REALLY count. We’re not, like, changing our name or something. Big 11…pft, what kinda retarded shit is….oh christ, stop crying. Look, we’ll…hide an 11 in the logo somewhere or something, it’ll be fine”

by NorseHawk on Sep 24, 2009 12:05 AM CDT up reply actions  

What would the Big Ten become....

if it did add another team? I say we keep with the misnomer and go with the big 13 asserting our dominance over the big 12.

by Argulor on Sep 24, 2009 12:30 AM CDT up reply actions  

With Lee Marvin as commisioner.

Wait, is he dead? He’s probably dead.

Ok, make that Lee Marvin’s corpse.

by Bucketochicken on Sep 24, 2009 8:52 AM CDT up reply actions  

How about...

The More Than 10 conference. Allows for endless expansion. Although, now may be the time to become the Big Ten again and dump jNU.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 24, 2009 9:22 AM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

No no no

You’re kicking out the wrong team. See rule 95. I think we all know who the last team that 95a would apply to is…

by PSUMark2008 on Sep 24, 2009 10:15 AM CDT up reply actions  

So...

Do we “Nose Goes” or last one to join gets kicked out? Or closest to Canada. I’d be fine with that.

by Pain in the Sash on Sep 24, 2009 10:38 AM CDT up reply actions  

OH

95A. ok. yeah i like that one

by Pain in the Sash on Sep 24, 2009 10:42 AM CDT up reply actions  

Relegation

One columnist or another has proposed that BCS conferences relegate their last-place team to a lesser conference for the next season. In the case of the Big TEleveN, the logical lesser football conference would be the MAC. In return, the MAC champion would play in the Big TEleveN the following year.

There are all kinds of good reasons relegation would be a huge head-ache in practice, but it is a cool idea in theory.

by Midnight Rambler on Sep 24, 2009 5:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

You mean copying the European soccer leagues?

"If Ron Zook were an ice cream flavor, it would be praline and retard"
-Garth Algar

by Tree Meister on Sep 24, 2009 5:18 PM CDT up reply actions  

Fuckin'-A but that's a terrific damn idea.

First of all, I don’t see that ever being us.

Second of all, it could’ve been PSU just a few years ago.

Last of all, it definitely could be Minnesota.

What a great fuggin idear.

If it's not too much trouble, search your soul--and then ask yourself if maybe I might have a point.

by The Director on Sep 24, 2009 6:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

European Football

Whoever it is that proposed relegation for college football got the idea from European soccer. I have an aversion to mentioning that other form of football if I don’t have to.

by Midnight Rambler on Sep 24, 2009 6:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

+1 for the "Dirty Dozen"

Considering our current reputation, that’s just too perfect.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 24, 2009 10:37 AM CDT up reply actions  

As long as we're going down memory lane

We could always discuss the last Iowa trip to Happy Valley

Quarterback Jake Christensen was sacked twice, and the Hawkeyes were held scoreless until an interception near the Penn State end zone set up Trey Stross’ 4th quarter touchdown reception in a 27–7 blowout loss on the road at Penn State. Iowa was held to eight first downs while Penn State had 26.

by Cairo on Sep 24, 2009 10:49 AM CDT reply actions  

Exhibit A on why

Jake is gone.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 24, 2009 11:17 AM CDT up reply actions  

Just think

In two weeks you can do that to him all over again!

by NorseHawk on Sep 24, 2009 12:16 PM CDT up reply actions  

this weekend

good luck (HATE HATE HATE HATE IT WASN’T PASS INTERFERENCE HATE HATE) iowa

this post did make me laugh though (I HATE IOWA THE PLACE SMELLS LIKE FEET AND IS LOCATED IN AMERICAS FUPA)

see you on saturday, and let us pray (THAT GOD SMITES YOUR PAGAN BLOOD-GOD WORSHIPPING ASSES) that nobody is gravely injured

Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance

by psudrozz on Sep 24, 2009 11:01 AM CDT reply actions  

I've read a great deal from the whiteys about that pass interference call

but there were three calls that were abysmal. That was not the worst one and, frankly, I thought it was pass interference right away—but it could easily not have been called. The roughing the kicker penalty was a joke…Iowa man uped and overcame that. And Clarks fumble was an out and out disaster call.

All things considered, you were much more fortunate in the bad call department. I expect this to be an area that favors you this game.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 24, 2009 11:21 AM CDT up reply actions  

thanks

in all seriousness, PSU should have put that game away in the first half, but they didn’t due to a stiffening defense from iowa. Iowa hung around and came through in the end.

Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance

by psudrozz on Sep 24, 2009 11:25 AM CDT up reply actions  

Yes

Iowa is good at stiffening up and cumming (thru) in the end

by Duez I say on Sep 24, 2009 12:31 PM CDT up reply actions  

Classy.

(lol buttsecks lololol)

by rockyh on Sep 24, 2009 1:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

GIGGITY

Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance

by psudrozz on Sep 24, 2009 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

It was about 1 vs. 2 in the bad call category

Penn State had two very favorable calls, Iowa had one (frankly, I don’t think it was PI, but that’s call we’re never going to get so I’ve gotten over it). It appeared Stanzi got away with a very obvious intentional grounding on that last drive. I was never able to confirm this because they never showed instant replay. Instead, Nessler and Griese pointed out that Penn State’s undefeated season was on the line.

Truth be told, I have gotten over the refs. We lost fair and square. I have not gotten over Bob Griese’s idiotic babbling about “style points” as though Iowa was an Indiana-type team ready to be blown out.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 24, 2009 12:33 PM CDT up reply actions  

Griese

isn’t as bad as Nessler. I can’t stand his Nesslerisms anymore. Thank God I’ll be at the game and not have to listen to him this weekend.

by Duez I say on Sep 24, 2009 1:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

It's on ABC

Musburger will be doing the game. I find him worse than Nessler.

DID YOU KNOW THAT EVAN ROYSTER PLAYED LACROSSE???

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 24, 2009 1:06 PM CDT up reply actions  

Oh cripes, Mushbooger

Glad I’ll be at a wedding reception where the volume will be turned down.

by rockyh on Sep 24, 2009 1:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

Could be worse

We could get Paul Maguire again. Fortunately, he’s out of announcing. Todd Blackledge and whoever he’s paired with are pretty useless as well. Unless you really want to know about some random local restaurant.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Sep 24, 2009 8:52 PM CDT up reply actions  

Man, I like nothing better than sportsmanship. Can you feel the love?

by Bluzmn on Sep 24, 2009 4:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

If the game is up to refs to decide...

… then the team that wins or loses because of a late call/non-call can’t really complain, since they shouldn’t have left the refs in a position where they could contribute to the outcome in the first place.

by rockyh on Sep 24, 2009 1:06 PM CDT reply actions  

There is a history there

of Penn State claiming that Iowa receives blown calls in their favor. I recall Paterno running down a ref.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 24, 2009 1:33 PM CDT reply actions  

Yes

Then after a blown call in the Michigan game, his neighbors reported seeing a pair of ref pants hanging on his garage door.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 24, 2009 2:01 PM CDT up reply actions  

Oh yeah

That was funny. It seems Iowa brings out the best in the old man.

Golden Showers

by Duez I say on Sep 24, 2009 3:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

and when the husband got out

to confront joe, the husband said"hey, that’s my wife"

Joe replied “that’s your problem” ,and got back in the car and drove away.

Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance

by psudrozz on Sep 24, 2009 3:19 PM CDT up reply actions  

Joe Paterno is the best

I wish he was grandpa.

(sorry Actual Grandpas, you’re cool too)

by NorseHawk on Sep 24, 2009 3:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

Speaking of elders...

I was once cut off and nearly run off the road once by an old man, and was about to honk and flip him off before realizing he was actually MY GRANDPA.

we took his driver’s license away a year later.

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Sep 24, 2009 4:02 PM CDT up reply actions   2 recs

Best thing I've read all day

"If Ron Zook were an ice cream flavor, it would be praline and retard"
-Garth Algar

by Tree Meister on Sep 24, 2009 4:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

ergh

I was thinking Iowa had a chance in this game until you reminded me of JayPa.
We’re boned.

by MongoLikeCandy on Sep 24, 2009 7:25 PM CDT reply actions  

that's

some kind of reverse jinx, right?

look, he’s gotten better, but he also called three passing plays into the wind on our first posession last year.

Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance

by psudrozz on Sep 25, 2009 9:06 AM CDT up reply actions  

pff

We’ll see your 3 passing plays into the wind and raise you 3 running plays into the the line.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Sep 25, 2009 1:11 PM CDT up reply actions  

Oh, shit

Carr did that for years and we could never beat him. WE’RE SCREWED!

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 25, 2009 1:14 PM CDT up reply actions  

You should field a team of

Flamboyant kickers. It is your only chance, after every positive play they could all slide around on their knees in joy.

"How many things do you do where you are involved with 110,000 other people on the same page? Unless you're in an English class cheating with 30 other guys."

by psu on Sep 25, 2009 11:17 AM CDT reply actions  

This year...

a crotch grab aimed at the student section.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 25, 2009 1:08 PM CDT reply actions  

"Drunk" coeds?

uh, I think that’s just how they are.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 25, 2009 1:44 PM CDT up reply actions  

tomorrow

1)start watching gameday in the morning.
2) do a shot every time they show the end of last year’s game.
3) pass out by noon.
4) wake up at 7pm.
5) start drinking for reals.

Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance

by psudrozz on Sep 25, 2009 4:15 PM CDT reply actions  

DANIEL MURRAY LIKES BEING PEED ON

Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."

by Roland86 on Sep 25, 2009 4:21 PM CDT reply actions  

Is that an overgrown

Teddy Bear? That’s an embarrassing mascot. Really, I would change that…do whatever it takes.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. --Albert Einstein

by StoopsMyAss on Sep 25, 2009 4:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

I hate it

When kids point to it and say “Mommy, I wanna pet that doggy!” you don’t have a mascot.

It was better when it had a mane.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Sep 25, 2009 4:59 PM CDT up reply actions  

I thought this was Penn State's mascot:

Give the ball to Brandon "wond3RBoy" Wegher!

by CUNKNNK on Sep 26, 2009 4:29 PM CDT up reply actions  

Agreed

They took the bar, the whole damn bar!

by recoveringfratguy on Sep 29, 2009 4:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

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