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Unfortunately, "Nine Toe Norm" No Longer Applies

Per HawkMania, Norm Parker's down to eight little piggies. Naturally, he doesn't give a shit:

Parker showed up at the Hawkeyes’ media day on Friday with one foot in a walking boot, the result of recent surgery to remove an infected toe on his right foot.

"I lost a toe when I was on vacation," Parker said. "I had a blister on my foot. One day it rained bad and water filled my fishing boat. I went out to bail the water out, the blister got infected and all of a sudden it was bye, bye toe."

Of course, the last time Parker lost the toe was 2004, and all Iowa did that season was go 7-1 in the conference. Clearly, the two factors are closely related and anything less than 6-2 is a bitter disappoint to all fans and, more importantly, the amputoe.

Shame, really; Nine Toe Norm is an awesome nickname. Or was, anyway. Eight Toe Norm doesn't work as well. Any ideas for a new nickname? Is "The Ocho" too played out?

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The Octoe'd one

I’d take it as a sign that Iowa goes undefeated in the month of October

www.wewillalwayshavetempe.com

by Sam @ WWAHT on Aug 8, 2009 3:42 PM CDT reply actions  

For some reason

I think Norm will go without the green paint.

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
- Thomas Jefferson

by Hawkeyewith49Jackrabbits on Aug 9, 2009 1:16 PM CDT up reply actions  

How about...

Eight is Enough

"Hayden Fox for Universal Jocks!"

by CraigTNelson on Aug 8, 2009 4:24 PM CDT reply actions  

Maybe...

8 in the box.

or

Touchdown and a conversion.

or

Forty-four.

or

Metatarsal-missing Madman.

or

(instead of Twinkletoes) Tackletoes.

or

The Four-toed Fisherman.

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 8, 2009 5:45 PM CDT reply actions  

How about To-ed the Wet Sprocket?

Okay…It was all I could think of…and I know it makes no sense.

"When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know." Bill Parcells

by StoopsMyAss on Aug 8, 2009 7:58 PM CDT reply actions  

How about

Forget about the Fcuking Toe!

by hawkdevil on Aug 8, 2009 11:04 PM CDT reply actions  

Cletus

Some folk’ll never lose a toe, and then again some folk’ll, it’s Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel…

Alternate for games when the base-package, never-blitz, bend-and-then-eventually-break game plan is especially exasperating: Norm the four-toed sloth

by Brock Sampson on Aug 9, 2009 1:58 AM CDT reply actions  

Sounds a little fishy to me.

From a blister to amputation?WTF????Probably just put a band-aid on it the night before and KOK mistook it for “pig in a blanket”.2 bites and another piggy bit the dust.Although you have to wonder why Norm didn’t question him slathering it with mustard.

What if KOK spelled god????

by HerkyLerky on Aug 9, 2009 7:48 AM CDT reply actions  

Someone start a “Norm Parker facts” website.

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Aug 9, 2009 3:01 PM CDT reply actions  

Just saying..

Ron Santo is not impressed by this.

by RonnieGotPaid on Aug 9, 2009 3:39 PM CDT reply actions  

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