It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It Sets Sail
[Quick Programming Note: Episode 2 of Black Heart Gold Podcast has gone through some technical difficulties in post-production. If everything works out correctly, it should be posted sometime tonight.]
Whatever Happened to Michael Fay? Soon-to-be SBN stalwart and Interwebs King of the Proverbial Mountain EDSBS gets around to ranking Iowa #21 in its preseason countdown. You know that tired old "this think is like this unrelated thing" gimmick that has been played to death by lesser writers? Well, as said by kings and queens, thank the heavens that Orson Swindle is not a lesser writer. In describing Iowa as Singapore:
Iowa is its own little island of football success despite the odds: only 3 million people in the entire state, and fewer still capable of running a 40 yard dash in less than 5 seconds. (Actually, Singapore with 4.5 million is bigger.) Yet like the tiniest of Asian tigers, Singapore managed to find success thanks to the strong hand of a dynamic leader who spawned a generation of young technocrats–including his lesser successor, Kirk Ferentz. Relying chiefly on hustle and brainpower, Singapore punches well above its weight in terms of regional impact, has problems with a lack of creativity, and while generally well-behaved, its citizensdo their crimes in spectacular, press-worthy fashion when they do them.
We haven't yet had the chance to welcome The Talented Mr. Swindle and his Vol-obsessed cohort to the fold, so let us just say that EDSBS is not only the gold standard in college football blogging (for example, read this and just try to resist the urge to slip 47 Krakatoa references into your weekly meetings/TPS reports), but is in many ways the only reason BHGP exists; this site is born of, among other things, the EDSBS comment threads, where we founding fathers spent many an afternoon cracking wise. Willkommen and bienvenue.
When You Have Two, You Really Have None. Pat Angerer and A.J. Edds have both been named to the Butkus Award Watch List, placing them among the nation's best linebackers. Rittenberg has is right: Angerer's placement is not surprising in the least, but it's nice to see Edds get some love. Angerer has spent the summerer being written up in a truckload of creampuff columns pointing out his status as a Little Lebowski Urban Achieverer: Challenges bested, obstacles overcome, competitors torn asunderer, 7-10 splits converted. Edds, in the meantime and despite a pair of solid-to-spectacular campaigns on the strongside, put on a pink hat. We can't all be Don Doxie's wet dream, but a little recognition for a senior three-year starter who may be the best coverage linebacker in team history is probably due.
Also, we're especially happy two Iowa players made the list. If OPS had to MANCOTT "Dick" and "Butkus," his weekends would be awfully boring.
I Thought Just Northwestern Students Were Supposed to be Smart or Something. It's silly season. We're two weeks away from honest-to-God helmet-on-helmet hot football action, and every person with a URL wants to write PREVIEWS OMG PREVIEWS. Still, you would expect better than this half-nuked pile of garbage from Just Northwestern's own radio station, WNUR:
This year has the Hawkeyes being ranked in every pre-season top 25, while the Wildcats are currently only "receiving votes" in some polls. Expect that to be reversed by the end of this season. Iowa has too many questions and too tough a schedule to emerge with a better record than the Wildcats this year....
Oh by the way Iowa fans, Ricky Stanzi is not your savior at quarterback. He’s not even that good.He’ll do fine managing the game, but he doesn’t have a star runner behind him anymore, and his receiving situation features…no one scary at all for defenses. He does have an excellent tight end to throw to in Tony Moeaki…if the oft-injured senior can stay on the field....
[T]heir secondary is really suspect. Teams will be able to throw against Iowa…a lot. Cornerback Amari Spievey is very good, but beyond that they have nothing. Their other projected starter at corner, Jordan Bernstine is out for the year with an injury so whoever starts there will be very inexperienced. Meanwhile, neither of their safeties strike fear in to opposing offenses. In this age of the spread offense, when you only have one reliable player in your secondary, you’re in trouble.
Yeah, Iowa's secondary is definitely suspect, Rick Stanzi is the textbook definition of "game manager," and there's nobody at receiver who should worry Just Northwestern. I would expect this kind of drivel from, say, Minnesota, but thought the jNWU guys were supposed to be good at reading and research and stuff. Turns out when you write your previews based solely on what you hear from the Lake the Posts comment section (OMG WE HAVE FLAGS LOL), analysis and reason take a vacation. (Oh, and radio? Really? What, no spots left in the telegraph department?)
Footnotes:
- ESPN's E:60 - the Worldwide Leader in Exploitative Journalism - will be live at Aplington-Parkersburg's opener against Dike-New Hartford. The Rachel Nichols Feelings Question Automatron might explode from overuse.
- Maybe the biggest news of the day: The Athletics Department seriously considered postponing last year's Iowa-ISU game due to field conditions. Six hours before kickoff, there were three inches of standing water in the south endzone. For all the traditionalist teeth-gnashing it initially brought, field turf might be a good idea after all.
- Bienvenido a physical therapy: Illinois LB Miami Thomas will miss the season with a torn ACL, and if you think I only posted this to use that tag line, well, you're correct.
- Ron Zook is in a pissing contest with Urban Meyer over recruiting and freshmen hazing during his time at Florida, which is the football coaching equivalent of Hello Kitty fighting a Ninja Cowboy Velociraptor.
- UI golfer Vince India comes from 11 shots back (!) in the final round to win the Iowa Open.
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Actually, I don't see what's so wrong with the WNUR preview
Not only do we have no secondary and a marginal-at-best QB, our offense will struggle mightily all season. Iowa is not a traditionally strong OL program, and will be in big trouble again – especially this year, as our entirely new/freshman OL will have tons of problems protecting our Spread-Option attack. Even with our offense averaging around four trick plays per game, the Hawks will have a lot of trouble moving the ball.
Couple that with a defense that created no turnovers at all last season, and has only four returning starters (three of who are injured and the other is tone deaf), and it spells disaster again for Hayden Fry’s 2009 Hawkeyes. The only way I see any kind of advantage in any game is if Iowa DC Ron Philbin stops blitzing so often. Fortunately, now that Nile Carver Stadium has switched back to grass, the Hawks utter lack of team speed shouldn’t be as much of an issue. Man, I can’t wait until our big Thursday night opener against Tulsa State!!
by Bucketochicken on Aug 24, 2009 10:01 AM CDT reply actions
the only thing wrong with your analysis, bucket
was that you used “who” instead of “whom” in the first line of the second paragraph. Otherwise, top-quality stuff worthy of admission to Northwestern’s graduate programs.
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Aug 24, 2009 10:19 AM CDT up reply actions
Fuck.
Good catch. Damn Iowa public school education…
by Bucketochicken on Aug 24, 2009 10:24 AM CDT up reply actions
Damn
Looks like another losing season for the Iowa Buckeyes. I was hoping to at least make it to the Sun Bowl.
I don't see any way the Hawks could qualify for the Sun Bowl.
Bluebonnet Bowl, maybe. Of course that all depends on how the BIg Ten South pans out. It’s gonna be pretty tough to topple U of Dayton.
by Bucketochicken on Aug 24, 2009 10:27 AM CDT up reply actions
I love BHGP

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On Iowa!
by Kinnick Stadium, Legendary on Aug 24, 2009 10:26 AM CDT reply actions 2 recs
Ninja! Cowboy! Velociraptor!
Helllllllllooooooooooooooo new BHGP t-shirt!
by Bucketochicken on Aug 24, 2009 10:28 AM CDT up reply actions
BHGP loves you right back, baby.
Phenomenal Photoshopping.
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Aug 24, 2009 1:22 PM CDT up reply actions
We don't really need a new mascot
but somebody should just all over that.
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Aug 24, 2009 4:27 PM CDT up reply actions
err...
jump all over that
Damn lack of typing skills
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Aug 24, 2009 4:28 PM CDT up reply actions
I justed in its face
Hang on, lemme get a towel.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
I guess I don't see the problem.
If there’s standing water in one of the endzones, just require ISU to play toward that goal all game.


















