We just got word from people who really should have told us earlier that this weekend is the Iowa Football Kickoff Party of the Chicago Iowa Club. It's at Merkle's Bar out in Wrigleyville, because why not find a bunch of beer-soaked meathead racist* party animals to drink with, right?
Tickets are 25 bucks, there's domestics beers and
paint thinner well drinks, and apparently 's going to be there. Like as a special guest, not as a regular attendee like you.
BHGP minions, we hope we're not being too forward in asking you to show up there en masse. We don't want you to start shit or do anything you wouldn't normally do--BHGP isn't Project Mayhem, it's dick jokes with awesome blogging software--but if any of you, say, get a picture where you're (gently) touching our New Year's Heave hero, then we'll probably post it.
Go! Go forth, readers! Drink Paramount rum until you have the courage to call whatever poor assistant has to go to that thing "a real American"! Push one of those douchey Cub fans** with their stupid fucking backwards visor and unbuttoned jersey! Go forth and live life!
And even if you don't go, have a good weekend anyway.
*To be fair, Bleacher Bum racism is at like a 4 or 5 out of 10, and it gets a lot worse in other major league parks. It's still unsettling, though.
**Full disclosure: I'm a Cubs fan. I can also dress myself like an adult if I'm in public.