To be honest, today was supposed to be my day to relax. I picked up a copy of Reader's Digest and a pack of two-ply and was going to just hang out on the shitter all day.

Then, those fuckers in Minnesota started messing with my day.

Brett Favre is a Viking. Great. Now I can't watch TV for nine months. That's fine, I'll just start checking the blogosphere and WAIT A BUMBLEFUCKING SECOND..

http://gopherfootball.blogspot.com/2009/08/who-hates-iowa.html

Some Gopher blogger named Jeff (if that is your real name, you sneaky son of a gun) writes that Iowa fans are "the absolute worst. " He goes on to mock Iowa as a boring place (This cocksucker's never seen the bridges of Madison County or been to Prairie Meadows, obviously). 

Well, I've got something to say to you, Jeff.

WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT MINNESOTA? WE DON'T GIVE a ...whatever.