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Dr. Strangename, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Paki-Bomb

Okay. So it's been a full season since the original Paki Scare. That whole situation ended well, right? We worried, but we didn't need to, because everything worked out just perfectly, yessir.

And so here it is before the 2009 season, and here we are again. Hampton re-tweaks the same wheel he was just getting back into shape, causing him to miss the Open Practice, and by all objective accounts Paki O'Meara was the best running back at the open practice. Not Jeff Brinson... Paki O'Meara.

So, assuming Hampton's not ready to 100% rock and Brinson's not there, especially in terms of things an Iowa running back needs to do without the ball, it's Paki Time and this is not a drill people.

But you know what?

Strangelove3_medium
You may have questions about the whole hat dynamic going on there. To which we say: Shhhhhhh.

So be it. No, he's not a dynamic rusher, but there's more to being a running back than that, and it appears that O'Meara's the best on the team at those things.

Remember what made Greene great--aside from his improvisational skills in the open field? It was his ability to read blitzes and take out rushers. He didn't put his hands out to stop a man, he put his shoulder pads straight into the guy's thighs, dishing right back out what he took from linebackers on nearly every run. Well, O'Meara's just as fearless a blocker, leading me to think that maybe O'Meara taught Greene a thing or two about backfield play.

As athleticism goes, O'Meara's not that bad. He even blocked a punt last year. Or at least we think he did. Either way, he got there before the punter, hit the punter with his ass, and made the punt go like 10 yards before spiraling out of bounds. He also got close to blocking a Penn State punt, but--you know what, let's not get into how horse's-shit that call was. What we're getting at is this: he's not a blazer, but his abilities are serviceable.

So perhaps he holds Jewel Hampton's place for a game or two. Perhaps Jeff Brinson's best served platooning with the Paki-Bomb. Perhaps when this season starts, this will be Episode 1 of the Paki O'Meara Show.

So be it. Onward we march. Pour us a couple Paki Bombs.

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Holy cow, wouldn’t it be the awesome if Paki turns out to be That Special Story KF alluded to? I would LOVE to see him rip off 175 and 3 TDs vs ISU…

by Bucketochicken on Aug 18, 2009 4:32 PM CDT reply actions  

He is at least as good as Jaime Murphy.

I would say that he may even be Marcus Schnoor-like. It would be a little over the top to suggest that he may be as talented as Rob Thein or Kent Kahl however.

by kaugie01 on Aug 18, 2009 5:07 PM CDT reply actions  

It's Jayme

How dare you insult the Irish Car Bomb.

by NorseHawk on Aug 18, 2009 6:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

I want to like...

Paki. But I don’t think he is even as good as Schnoor.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 18, 2009 8:08 PM CDT up reply actions  

@OPS...

While the photoshop is funny, you probably don’t want to make a lot of pics showing you riding another dude’s chin. LOL

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 18, 2009 8:09 PM CDT reply actions  

Unless he had a tracheotomy, there's nothing untoward going on.

If he DID, though, best believe I’m in it to win it.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Aug 19, 2009 9:34 AM CDT up reply actions  

So you're saying...

that you prefer your men to be gasping for air as you kneel on their neck. I think the chin-riding was less suspect.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 19, 2009 9:44 PM CDT up reply actions  

I've Heard Worse...

out of OPS’ mouth. Never ride with him past St. Jude Hospital in Memphis, TN…

They took the bar, the whole damn bar!

by recoveringfratguy on Aug 19, 2009 11:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

They have commercials now.

It’s not even fair.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Aug 20, 2009 1:11 PM CDT up reply actions  

So

If I went to a bar and ordered a Paki-Bomb what would I get?

Its a funny story actually.

by Wad on Aug 18, 2009 10:09 PM CDT reply actions  

Remember...

the name is Paki O’Meara.

So, I’m guessing it consists of:
the Paki: 1 part Bombay Sapphire,
the O’Meara: 1 part Bailey’s Irish Cream,
1 part Hawkeye Vodka,
and for the bomb: 1 part Jaeger?

Tastes so bad, you won’t notice that your favorite team is playing its third-string halfback.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 18, 2009 10:39 PM CDT up reply actions  

BRILLIANT!

Absolutely brilliant. I’m ordering a round of Paki Bombs at the bar tomorrow. If I survive, I declare it the official drink of the 2009 season.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Aug 19, 2009 1:32 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

I would think that a "Bomb"...

would have to include some kind of energy drink, or instead of the Bailey’s you drop the rest of it into a half pint of Guinness or Harp.

I’m sure it’s awful… but hey, bottom’s up!

by Buddy Light on Aug 19, 2009 9:34 AM CDT up reply actions  

Good point...

Buddy Light. I have never drank / drunk a Jaeger bomb, and I forgot that the energy drink is probably what makes it a bomb?

I like an occasional Harp by itself, but throwing the Paki into it or a Guinness sounds too bad to be tried.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 19, 2009 9:46 PM CDT up reply actions  

WE CAN NOT ALLOW A RUNNING BACK GAP!

George C. Scott rules!

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 18, 2009 10:54 PM CDT reply actions  

The Penn State incident

was actually involving Colin Sandeman almost blocking the punt and Penn State’s punter lightly bring his foot down on Sandeman’s shoulder pad before showing of his 7th grade drama skills.

by hawkeye0111 on Aug 18, 2009 10:56 PM CDT reply actions  

Have you ever seen Colin Sandeman and Paki O'Meara in the same room?

We rest our case.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Aug 19, 2009 9:34 AM CDT up reply actions  

Are you implying that

Colin Sandeman and Paki O’Meara have a Cliff Floyd/Rondell White thing going on?

by Buddy Light on Aug 19, 2009 9:37 AM CDT up reply actions  

I think the punt

that Paki blocked was against either Wisconsin or Purdue, and really think it was Wisconsin.

by TarHeelHawk on Aug 19, 2009 1:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

it was Wisky

he got a little of the ball, but mostly he just hit the punter. Still counts…….

by hdhawk on Aug 19, 2009 9:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

As long as Paki doesn't.....

become a team captain and force the team to do all that faggy Polynesian dancing shit. Come to think of it, that Irish prick better not try any of that Michael Flattey “Riverdance” shit either……unless he can incorporate the two into some sort of a beautiful-sexual-moving-fusion dance. That would be kinda cool I guess.

Taint the Water Tower!

by FireEveryone on Aug 18, 2009 11:59 PM CDT reply actions  

FireEveryone...

did you apply for or get the Hawaii football coaching job when June Jones left?

LOL

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 19, 2009 12:16 AM CDT up reply actions  

No....

but much like June, I have strong ties to the California Juvenile Detention system. I also watched “So You Think You Can Dance” from the comforts of a Holiday in Express last night.

Taint the Water Tower!

by FireEveryone on Aug 19, 2009 8:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

Your comment is funny...

but you do know I was referring to the new Hawaii coach (Greg McMackin) and his recent comments about Notre Dame, right?

Here is a link:

http://ncaafootball.fanhouse.com/2009/07/30/hawaiis-greg-mcmackin-apologizes-for-gay-slur-aimed-at-notre-da/

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 19, 2009 9:48 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yeah....

I just couldn’t think of anything witty to say about Greg McMackin so I stuck with June “always good for a personal attack” Jones. I’ll come stronger next time.

Taint the Water Tower!

by FireEveryone on Aug 20, 2009 2:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

"Polynesian dancing"

Sure, it looks ridiculous when the BYU guys are doing it, but the haka is pretty badass when it’s done right.

As an opponent I would be concerned that they might eat me.

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Aug 19, 2009 11:43 PM CDT up reply actions  

Agreed....

But too many teams are doing it now. I wish we would take the field like the Shriners take on a 4th of July Parade…..Ferentz leading the team out in a dune buggy followed by 105 Hawks would make even the tighest sphincter loosen up a bit. Plus, with no natural grass, we could really whip some doughnies out there. Let the little rubber pellets fly …..YEEEEHAW!!

Taint the Water Tower!

by FireEveryone on Aug 20, 2009 2:30 PM CDT up reply actions  

The looks in the eyes...

of those rugby players is disturbing. But it is difficult to intimidate anyone when you wear shorts that are basically black hot pants.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Aug 20, 2009 4:31 PM CDT up reply actions  

As a fellow CRWash alum

I really think the most appropriate movie reference for Paki (especially with Keenan Davis on the team now) is: Warriors, come out to play-ee-ay!!

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Aug 19, 2009 6:04 PM CDT reply actions  

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