Also He Runs As Fast As A Pneumatic Press
by Adam Jacobi on Jul 1, 2009 5:36 PM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes Football
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PrintSearching for info on Iowa recruiting prospects, we found one player, one Isaiah Lewis, who does things rather unconventionally, apparently:
This, of course, is precisely where our readership is tasked with coming up with a similar metaphor. We must warn you, though; the more you think about "sneaks up on you like a freight train," the more you realize what a daunting task is in front of you. Best of luck. Winner gets an autographed picture of HFMR's balls.
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Lewis' stock is flying high like Air France Flight 447
by Twin Cities Hawk on Jul 1, 2009 6:20 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
This dude wins
Like, by a lot. I’m not even going to try.
Pube check >> Autographed 'sack photo.
--
Order your copy of "We Are Penn State", like, now. One team, 128 pages.
by Run Up The Score on Jul 1, 2009 6:52 PM CDT reply actions
IndianaVarsityScout.com:
- Where the metaphors are more finely crated than I have some magnets on my refigerator and tomorrow after work I think I might get a haircut which reminds me, we’re almost out of catfood.
Isaiah Lewis...
scores points like the Gophers, comes through in the clutch like Penn State, and lives up to the billing like South Carolina.
"I'm not doing any good back here."
South Carolina was billed as anything more than “Crap”?
DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?
by ReadingRambler on Jul 1, 2009 8:14 PM CDT up reply actions
He has great field vision, like a sewing machine.
He’s nimble, like paint.
His football knowledge is unaparalleled – he’s like a young Imelda Marcos.
He hits so hard his teammates call him “the haberdasher.”
A great nose for the ball – he’s like that Steve Martin movie. You know, All of Me.
He has quick hips like Stephen Hawking.
I like this amount of effort
Would you prefer the photo of the sack just dangling au naturale or something a little more artsy……like laying it on a bed of daffodils?
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Jul 1, 2009 11:04 PM CDT up reply actions
Is "getting run over by a car instead" also an option?
Nothing against daffodils, mind you…
by Bucketochicken on Jul 2, 2009 8:28 AM CDT up reply actions
I mean ME getting run over by a car instead, not necessarily your nuts.
Although that would also be a funny picture.
by Bucketochicken on Jul 2, 2009 8:29 AM CDT up reply actions
He has the rock-solid emotional strength of Dick Vermiel.
He can focus his tackles like Billy Joel driving at high speeds.
He plans to be in the program for a long time, just like Nick Saban.
He can play stifling man coverage like that guy who let Crabtree into the end zone (Curtis Brown of Texas?)
He brings the hard-hitting intensity you usually only find in a Richard Simmons workout video.
WOOOOO
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Jul 2, 2009 11:33 AM CDT up reply actions
Clean as an XXX theater floor
Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.
by three and out the kok story on Jul 2, 2009 12:40 PM CDT reply actions
innocent as cardinal law
Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.
by three and out the kok story on Jul 2, 2009 12:42 PM CDT reply actions
And a pall was cast over the Catholic readership of BHGP
Now we’re never getting invited to the Vatican. :-(
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
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