Hi, people. Give Hawkeye State a hug.

We know you're in the mood for hard-hitting, big-time news that'll reverberate through the program for ages. To that we say, "It's June, motherfucker." This is when the athletic department all hibernates. Gary Barta's in a cocoon. His heart rate is "glacier."

Therefore, we're forced to do this. We're not proud.

That's Donnie Wahlberg, yes, THE Donnie Wahlberg, showing off the ol' abdominators. And... yes, inexplicably, in an Iowa hat. We don't know why.

Look, people. It's either that or we're writing a story about how doodoopoop reads the same upside-down and right-side up. And doodoopoop is a very funny word.