What The Hell Was Ron Zook Trying To Do On Twitter?

by Oops Pow Surprise on May 16, 2009 10:58 AM CDT in Football Comment 13 comments

Trick luh the kids, and BHGP luh the Zooker. It's well-known. To that end, we follow his (usually) remarkably disappointing Twitter feed. There's none of the illegible exuberance displayed by guys like Tim Brewster and David Cutcliffe; it's just another boring coach's Twitter.

So imagine our surprise when we woke up this morning and saw these:

Please. Come here
about 7 hours ago from txt

Is that all U got
about 6 hours ago from txt

Based on the time estimations from Twitter, these went out around 3:45 AM CDT. So, um, what in the hell is going on? Who's he trying to have "Come here" early in the morning like that? Does his wife know what's going on?

To the Zooker's credit, there's nothing absolutely damning here; it's not like he said "balls deep in a collie all my dogfuckers say heeeeyyyyy" or "I swear I will give you $40,000 to come to Illinois" or anything. Still, maybe Twitter needs a disable feature between 10 pm and 5 am for certain people. And by "disable" I mean "redirect to BHGP's mailbox so we can continue to imagine coaches are trying to pick up chicks when they're shitfaced."

Oh, and lest we be accused of lying, here's a screencap from roughly 10 AM:

We eagerly anticipate his explanation, because if he's not trying to score a piece, this is just baffling.

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I smell exclusive BHGP interview

by shada's revenge on May 16, 2009 12:51 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Pretty obvious, guys.

He was ROOOOOLLLLLLLIIIIIINNNNNNN.

I’m not sure what all the fuss is about.

by indyhawk on May 16, 2009 1:08 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I can only hope

Twitter war with Brewster

by chitownhawkeye on May 16, 2009 1:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

This idea needs to be turned into a blog post immediately.

by NorseHawk on May 17, 2009 9:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Does Luke Wilson still owe him money?

by Cairo on May 16, 2009 4:01 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Heeeeeeyyyyyy!

Oh, wait. Nevermind.

by Twin Cities Hawk on May 18, 2009 9:43 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Usually when I'm drunk

and twitter I just tell people to fuck off and kiss my ass. Does this mean the Zooker is a better drunk than me?

I'm Banana dammit!!!

by BurritoBrosShits on May 18, 2009 11:32 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I hate to burst your bubble

but yes. It comes from all the practice he has.

by chitownhawkeye on May 18, 2009 5:13 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

My guess is

It has something to do with this.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/football/ncaa/05/18/illinois-felony.ap/index.html

Looks like Zooker had to go bail one of his boys out of jail.

Mike
Black Shoe Diaries

by BSD on May 18, 2009 2:20 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Maybe

His bathroom stall foot-tap wasn’t being heard?

Hey, this game is fun too and you can make it fun. --j. odrick
But I’m biased towards tailgating, as you may imagine. -ts
Ignore the accolades – just enjoy the games. -bb&w

by jtothep on May 18, 2009 2:54 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

You guys are all off mark

I pray this is true…but I believe this was his drunken “sounding the horns”, if you will, to signal his twitter battle against Brewster. His first message “is that all U got” is referring to brewster’s already highly publicized twitter rambles, but he was too drunk that early in the morning to remember his rival’s name, so he referred to him simply as U…hinting at minnesota’s claim as “The U” despite Miami’s clear previous claim at this title. (Also its pretty sad when you can claim Miami as a more legitimate university…in anything…for that matter)

So there you have it. LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!

by rpmhawk on May 20, 2009 12:43 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

balls deep in a collie all my dogfuckers say heeeeyyyyy

THIS. Nice work OPS.

by Ninja Football on May 20, 2009 2:43 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

The real question.

After perusing the Zookers followers for waaaaay too long at work.
Why does JLeman not have a twitter account that i know of. How can we get america’s greatest lover of freedom and all derivatives of freedom on Twitter?
LIBERTY