Trick luh the kids, and BHGP luh the Zooker. It's well-known. To that end, we follow his (usually) remarkably disappointing Twitter feed. There's none of the illegible exuberance displayed by guys like Tim Brewster and David Cutcliffe; it's just another boring coach's Twitter.

So imagine our surprise when we woke up this morning and saw these:

Please. Come here
about 7 hours ago from txt

Is that all U got
about 6 hours ago from txt

Based on the time estimations from Twitter, these went out around 3:45 AM CDT. So, um, what in the hell is going on? Who's he trying to have "Come here" early in the morning like that? Does his wife know what's going on?

To the Zooker's credit, there's nothing absolutely damning here; it's not like he said "balls deep in a collie all my dogfuckers say heeeeyyyyy" or "I swear I will give you $40,000 to come to Illinois" or anything. Still, maybe Twitter needs a disable feature between 10 pm and 5 am for certain people. And by "disable" I mean "redirect to BHGP's mailbox so we can continue to imagine coaches are trying to pick up chicks when they're shitfaced."

Oh, and lest we be accused of lying, here's a screencap from roughly 10 AM:

We eagerly anticipate his explanation, because if he's not trying to score a piece, this is just baffling.