This New Field Is Stupid

by Oops Pow Surprise on May 11, 2009 10:08 PM CDT in Football Comment 26 comments

As you might recall, Iowa is replacing the Legendary Kinnick Stadium* field after last year's total debacle of an ISU game. Well, we're happy to announce that Iowa has released the new field design, and here it is!

Okay, that's not true. I mean, yes, that is Kinnick, but they're not going full minimalist. That would just piss referees off.

No, there is going to be a new field design. Doubtless, the UI took special notice of BHGP's Design Roundtable and instituted our suggested changes, namely a pink sideline for the visitors, yes?

Sorry, but this is boring. Once again, there's nothing at midfield. The end zones look like the edges of the basketball court. And we'll just assume that we can chalk up the alternating colors between yard lines to artistic license and that Iowa isn't actually going two-tone on the field.

But criticism's nothing if it's not constructive. To that end, BHGP gladly presents our final plan for redesigning the field... the right way.

(click to embiggen)

YEAH! Check that action out! We finally get a logo at midfield, a little excitement in the end zones, and even though you can't see it without clicking on the picture, yes, we included the pink sideline. This is going to be awesome, just like it says on the field. Barta, make this happen and all is forgiven.

*We might have to just start calling it LKS to save ourselves some time. Kinda weird, since we were pretty sure his name was "Nile," not "Legendary."

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You guys get laid?

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on May 11, 2009 11:19 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

That's kinda what we're hoping for if the end zone goes in.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on May 12, 2009 6:33 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well, you know where to send any "leftovers"

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on May 12, 2009 9:44 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

The strip club outside state college

is called the End Zone. Not sure if you can get laid there, but you can get a great lap dance.

Hey, this game is fun too and you can make it fun. --j. odrick
But I’m biased towards tailgating, as you may imagine. -ts
Ignore the accolades – just enjoy the games. -bb&w

by jtothep on May 12, 2009 10:14 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

GO IOWA AWESOME

New BHGP t-shirt?

by Bucketochicken on May 12, 2009 6:51 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I would so totally buy one.

by rockyh on May 12, 2009 11:27 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

You want it? You got it.

storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."

by Hawkeye State on May 13, 2009 9:56 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

http://blackheartgoldpants.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Shop/Article/Index/article/GO-IOWA-AWESOME-4538501

storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."

by Hawkeye State on May 13, 2009 10:25 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I might buy that

Have a "great HD day!" - Jay Paterno

by ReadingRambler on May 13, 2009 11:26 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

That. Shirt. Rules.

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on May 13, 2009 5:12 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

does it come in pink

or in green with one pink sleeve

I do what I can.

by Anonymous Hero on May 13, 2009 6:35 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

FTW

by Bucketochicken on May 15, 2009 1:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Excuse me sirs, but I believe the preferred nomenclature is Historic Kinnick Stadium

by NorseHawk on May 12, 2009 7:53 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I swear I've heard both phrases...

Dolph’s probably just confused when he does it. Does the PA guy use both?

by RossWB on May 12, 2009 8:21 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I have no idea

I just know that every single University press release I read refers to it as Historic Kinnick Stadium with basically every mention, to the point that it’s become a running joke between my friends and I to always call it that.

by NorseHawk on May 12, 2009 10:44 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I like the endzones, but why nothing at the 50?

And does anyone else think it would be a good idea if they painted a tigerhawk on that hospital watertower? That’s an idea I just came up with all by myself. I should see if I can make some calls up the ladder and get that done.

by DonnyDonovan on May 12, 2009 8:09 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Don't stop at the Field

I was just at the University of Louisville campus and everything there is fucking black and red. Bridges, sidewalks, street poles, parking lots, and yes water towers. Please make shirt PAINT WATER TOWER BLACK and GOLD!!!!

by ChryslerKinnick on May 12, 2009 9:27 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

If you're trying to make a point

It’s generally never a good idea to start your argument with “we should be more like Louisville, Kentucky”

by Nefarious on May 12, 2009 11:21 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I would so totally buy that shirt, too

by rockyh on May 12, 2009 11:28 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Whenever people talk about painting the watertower

I always think of the “SAVE THE CLOCKTOWER!” lady on Back to the Future.

by Bucketochicken on May 12, 2009 12:27 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

That pink sideline is more of a magenta, really

and what does that say, in the parentheses? “Stripper pole on our side (baked)”? Or is “a keg”?

I think I prefer the former. Has a very DA U feel to it.

www.wewillalwayshavetempe.com

by Sam @ WWAHT on May 12, 2009 1:09 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

YOU TRY COMING UP WITH SOMETHING LIKE PINK SIDELINES

Up in your tower, always nay-saying!

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on May 12, 2009 1:34 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

You know me

I’m passionate about pink.

hurr hurr vagina hurr hurr

www.wewillalwayshavetempe.com

by Sam @ WWAHT on May 12, 2009 3:11 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think

that is a perfectly cromulent shade of pink for the visitors’ sideline.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 12, 2009 2:59 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Agreed.

That shade of pink embiggens us all.

lol kwijybo

by rockyh on May 13, 2009 9:51 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

sorry but I disagree

I think I might do a little research on the top teams and what is in the middle of their field. Im sure the U of I saw that big FAT F in the middle of the U of F swampland and just let out a big fat..ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww like we do everytime we see it. F in the middle of the field. can you get anymore uglier than that. and the fact that most people associates the F word with Florida and its on the middle of the field…along with loser schools illinois and iowa splat putting letters or ever changing new logos in the middle of the fields detoured them away from that faster than you can say there goes another iowa state coach…and was a gentle reminder that nothing is better than some of the junk that clutters the middle of the field.

the fact that ohio state has the O in the middle of the field is part of their tradition just like nothing on our field is part of our tradition. but there is one think I would love to see on the sidelines or inside the sidelines at say the 20 yard line is this….

kinnick stadium

now that WOULD be sweet

by kinnickcolt on May 15, 2009 5:28 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs