(or 4, I can’t remember) public intoxes in the 6 months I lived with him. He only got criminal mischief with one of them. That was for standing in the middle of the road outside one of the more popular establishments and punching a car when it honked at him. Chasing people around the Ped Mall with a wooden stake will also get you public intox.

In my defense, the sign was lying in the middle of the sidewalk, but since I was in University Heights, I was pretty much fucked. HOWEVER, due to the length of the walk, I blew a .079 and was subsequently charged with “Impersonating a drunk.” This is all true, I couldn’t possibly dream up an arrest charge like pretending to be a drunkard.

In the end, I spent the tail end of Mardi Gras in the drunk tank, and got to laugh at a bunch of other incredibly drunk idiots and their hilarious arrest stories. My favorite was the guy that came in bleeding, and shoeless, because he got in a fight with a water main while trying to break into his own house. Good times.

Either hit a drunk idiot and get arrested or don’t and miss the opportunity to hit someone with a car.

I feel he should receive a bit of leeway. The only part of my story that was left out was that my roommate, who was significantly drunker than I, was also arrested, because the cop saw me acting like a douchebag. Yes, he was drunk, but he wasn’t being a jackass, and because of me he had to spend a night in jail and pay a ticket. In Ferentz case, he was drunk, but doesn’t appear to have been acting out.

I understand that, as a college athlete, one may be held to a higher standard, but I have a hard time believing that he should be dismissed from the team for being a drunk that happened to be walking with an even bigger drunk in downtown Iowa City.