/diagrams trick play
  What if we pulled the guard to block the middle linebacker?
  /changes diagram to pull guard
  And if the tight end has the strong safety...
  EXCELSIOR!
  That is a TREMENDOUS play!
  I need to share this with WIN FIGHT TRY
  Oh, I forgot my Motivational Tourette's medication today.
  I need to share this TREMENDOUS new play with my minions on Twitter!
  Secretary
   Yes sir?
  I have created a TREMENDOUS trick play, and must share this GO GOPHERS WIN BEST BANK TRY with my fans on Twitter.  Be seated near the personal computer.
  What, THIS computer?
  Yes, the personal computer on my desk. 
  You want to use Twitter with this?
  Yes, I want to inform my followers of this amazing development.  Underling, is there a problem with my personal computer?
  Sir, this is an Apple IIe.  It's older than Dominic Jones.  Or his victims, for that matter.  We could just use my iPhone.
  SILENCE!  I will not tolerate insubordination!  Sit at that personal computer.
  Take dictation.
  We have WIN FIGHT BEST TREMENDOUS COMPETE GOPHER GOPHER GOPHER
   We have WIN FIGHT BEST TREMENDOUS COMPETE GOPHER GOPHER GOPHER
  HIGH FIVES EVERYWHERE GO GOPHER EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT
  HIGH FIVES EVERYWHERE GO GOPHER!!!
  GREAT ATTITUDE AND EFFORT TODAY WIN WIN FIGHT GOPHER TREMENDOUS TRY BEST EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT
  Sir
  EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT
  Sir?
  EXCELLENCE ON AND OFF THE FIELD WIN FIGHT TRY BEST devised a fantastic new...
  Why aren't you typing, Secretary?
  Did you forget your meds today, Coach?
  Why do you ask?
  /looks at monitor
  GREAT ATTITUDE AND EFFORT TODAY WIN WIN FIGHT GOPHER TREMENDOUS TRY BEST!!!!!!
  Oh no.

- Meanwhile, at BHGP Labs -

  The offseason sucks
   There's nothing to write about
  GREAT ATTITUDE AND EFFORT TODAY WIN WIN FIGHT GOPHER TREMENDOUS TRY BEST!!!!!!
  LOL
  LOL
  LOL
  LOL
  LOL
  ROR
  ROLLIN
  WHAT IS A LOL
  SECRETARY
  SECRETARY