Fulmer Cupdate (EDSBS)

by txhawkeye on Apr 30, 2009 8:08 AM CDT Comment 12 comments

To the extent the gentlemen in Iowa City have mostly drunk and disorderly violations, I guess I'll embrace my alma mater's fine showing. I would prefer a score somewhere more middle of the pack, rather than tied for overall honors (like a national merit scholar or something), as USF is currently asteriked with merely one perpetrator (pussies). But what a mix of schools - Hawaii, Iowa, Ball State, the smelley cocks, UCLA.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/04/28/fulmer-cupdate-the-long-delayed-big-board/

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It just doesn't feel right, though

Where’s the pizazz? Where’s the effort in felonious wrong-doing? We’re better than this. We have this pedigree that includes cash eating credit card fraud, and all we can come up with is PAULAs and a weak assault case.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just because USF has a guy who pistol whipped 3 people. That’s creativity in getting points.

by chitownhawkeye on Apr 30, 2009 9:18 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

To my chagrin, I agree. If you’re going to be the clubhouse leader, make it worthwhile with epic idiocy, not garden variety walking while drunk.

by txhawkeye on Apr 30, 2009 10:17 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yep, Quality > Quantity

by Bucketochicken on Apr 30, 2009 1:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Agreed

If were going to go down, we need to go down in flames. Not this piddling collection of mediocrities. Any chance we could get Douggie Fresh back to IC to jack up ~~some stores~~ our score?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Apr 30, 2009 12:47 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Fear Not!

Finals will be soon upon us! A chance for our Hawkeyes to close the gaps as there is no difference between PAULA and Murder One. It all counts the same, people.

Likewise, the summer break will provide ample opportunity for the Hawks to do what they do best. 8 is not an insurmountable number.

GO HAWKS! YOU CAN DO IT!!

by SavagePoop on Apr 30, 2009 2:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Fuck

Posted too soon. Hawaii walk-on qb recently held a “two-point” (huh? is that a Hawaii thing?) knife to his pregnant girlfriend’s dog throat, then to hers. The Hawaii’s and USFers are out-styling us no end.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2009/04/30/fulmer-cupdate-hawaii-qb-displays-terrible-aim-control/#comments

by txhawkeye on Apr 30, 2009 3:27 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Wait

His girlfriend is pregnant, or his girlfriend’s dog is pregnant? Because he should get less points for the latter.

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Apr 30, 2009 4:24 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Are you kidding

threatening the pooch in front of the GF? That’s pure style, he’ll get full points for whack job behavior.

by chitownhawkeye on Apr 30, 2009 4:40 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Right

I was just trying to deduce whether he was threatening a pregnant dog in front of his girlfriend or threatening a regular dog in front of his pregnant girlfr…ah………fuck it, he’s a winner either way.

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Apr 30, 2009 9:03 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well, I don’t know about the dog, but his girlfriend is reportedly pregnant. He threatened the dog’s life before hers – revenge and all that – and punched her car. Plus, as EDSBS points out, his name is unpronounceable and has way too many vowels.

by txhawkeye on Apr 30, 2009 4:41 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs